


Becoming Ellie Black

by rubberduckz84



Series: Sirius Black Series [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Drama, F/M, Grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 70,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21571639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubberduckz84/pseuds/rubberduckz84
Summary: (Part Two to “Thistle & Black”) Ellie Selwyn has always seen her mother as her personal hero (more than Harry Potter). But when she returns home after her third year, she finds that while they are finally free of the domineering Evan Selwyn, it has come with a price. Part of which is coming to terms with the fact that she is the daughter of Sirius Black.
Relationships: Seamus Finnigan/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Sirius Black Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1554517
Comments: 9
Kudos: 13
Collections: Harry Potter





	1. Changes

Ellie stood in the large, old parlour of Grimmauld Place, looking around at the gathering of people. The room had been completely transformed, all thanks to Mrs. Weasley. As soon as she had arrived with Ginny and Ron, she had set her youngest two children to work helping her clean in preparation for that day. There were no more cobwebs in the corners of the room, and it actually felt a bit airier, if it were possible. Ellie had tried to help, but Mrs. Weasley had only tutted and sent her off, saying they were just fine and why didn't she go check on her mother?

There weren't many people in the room - roughly a dozen or so - though Emmie wasn't sure how many she should of expected. Some she knew, some she didn't. They were all wearing black and spoke in hushed tones.

Her gaze continued on until it settled on a large portrait that had been placed on an easel in front of the fireplace, the person in it smiling and winking at anyone who walked near it.

It was a face she had only seen in newspapers. Granted, this photograph was vastly more appealing than those had been. He didn't look like a mad, escaped convict in this one. He looked… friendly. Fun-loving. A bit of devilish glint in his grey eyes.

As Ellie continued to study the portrait from across the room, she could feel eyes studying her.

"Poor dear…"

"Didn't even get to know him…"

"How's her mother holding up?"

"She looks so much like him…"

Ellie shifted slightly on her feet, smoothing the front of her dress as she tore her eyes from the photograph. She was no stranger to people looking at her and whispering. Gotten rather used to it at Hogwarts. She was a Selwyn in Gryffindor, after all. The first, according to her family, though her mother had also been Gryffindor. They were the odd ones out. Being a Selwyn in Gryffindor had gotten her loads of attention her first year. Most of it not so good. She spent most of her first week crying in the bathroom before she finally stood up for herself. She punched a third-year boy in the nose after he had told her to go slithering back to Slytherin with all the other snakes where she belonged.

She had gotten detention for it and never told her parents what it was really about. But she had gained some supporters from that incident. Namely Ginny Weasley, who took her under her wing from that point on. The two had remained close, becoming even closer last year when they both wholeheartedly joined the DA.

Life had gotten easier after that incident her first year, thankfully. At least in Gryffindor. She still got the occasional blood traitor or muggle lover from Slytherin. Those lot she had unfortunately grown up around, though she had never really liked any of them. There was a time when she and Pansy Parkinson had been sort of friends, though that most assuredly died the day Ellie was sorted.

But now, Ellie was standing in a room full of people who were there to mourn a man she had never met. A man that was apparently her father. She glanced over, seeing her mother sitting in a chair, making polite conversation as she sat with her back ramrod straight and her legs crossed at the ankle. Ellie had seen her mother like this many times before - the ever proper pureblood wife. It was a role Aurora had played for all of Ellie's life when in public or around other purebloods or Evan Selwyn. Ellie figured her mother was trying to put on a strong face for everyone else - she had heard her sobbing in her room at night when she thought everyone else in the house had gone to sleep.

"How are you holding up?" Ginny asked, stepping up to her, the nerves apparent on her face. They had had a decent row shortly after the Weasleys had gotten there over the fact that Ginny and her whole family had known the truth all along and didn't tell her. But at this moment, Ellie found that she didn't care so much anymore. She needed a friend right now.

"Ehm… I'm okay. It's just…" Ellie trailed off as she looked back over at the portrait. "I mean, I know he was my father, but… is it bad that… I don't really feel...anything? I didn't even know..."

"Suppose I can understand why you'd feel that way," Ginny said.

"I mean… I _am_ upset," Ellie said. "But… mostly because I didn't get to meet him… and everyone else here apparently has. And they all kept it from me... I don't even _know_ most of the people here..."

Ginny was silent a few moments, watching her friend as she felt her own guilt. She had wanted to tell her about Sirius, but her parents made her swear that she wouldn't - knowing it was something left for her mother to tell her when she was ready.

"I wish… Harry should be here. He'd probably know more about that," Ginny said. Ellie looked over at her. "I mean… he knew Sirius. And… he knows what it's like to have a parent die before you really know them…" Ellie nodded, looking back at the portrait. She still hadn't wrapped her head around the fact that her life was now tangled up with the boy she had idolized for years. Though they were in the same house, up until last year, Ellie had rarely - if ever - interacted with him.

"Suppose he would," she said, remembering everything she had learned while in the DA last year.

"Elle… you know I'm here for you. For… anything," Ginny said, reaching out and squeezing her hand. Ellie smiled softly as she looked back over at her friend.

"Thanks, Gin," she replied.

"And you've got the whole DA with you as well," Ginny continued. "When we get back to school." Ellie frowned at that. She still wasn't sure she was ready to return to Hogwarts. With her father - well, the man she had thought her father - now in Azkaban as a death eater, she was sure it would be rough, at least at first. People would certainly look at her differently. Those who didn't know the full story, anyway. That her mother had been in hiding all last year, terrified that he would find her and kill her. Granted, news of the divorce was likely to have spread like wildfire through the pureblood circle - purebloods never ran away or got divorced, so it was likely the summer's biggest scandal.

Then there was the other bit. Ellie hadn't even decided if or how she would tell anyone about Sirius Black.

From what she had gleaned over the last week, Sirius seemed to be a far better man than Evan Selwyn. And she wished that she had had the opportunity to get to know him. But it still didn't change the fact that she barely knew anything about him. And that he had spent 12 years in Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit. And now he was dead.

As she stared at the portrait again - saw so many features that she looked at every day in the mirror - her thoughts went back to that day.

The day that changed everything.

* * *

“Darling… his name was Sirius Black.” 

Ellie just stared at her mother, watching as her hand came to her mouth and she closed her eyes, the tears freely falling down her cheeks. Ellie couldn’t speak. What did you even say to a statement like that? First of all, to find out that Evan Selwyn wasn’t actually her father. Then to discover that Sirius Black - a man that up until recently most of the wizarding world thought was a mass murderer and death eater - _was_. 

It felt as though everything Ellie understood about her life had just been tossed out the window and then run over by a lorry. Or a herd of hippogriffs. Either one worked. 

“Sirius Black… I… what?” Ellie asked, unable to properly speak as her brain tried to process the information. She wasn’t having a ton of luck with that. Aurora swallowed and walked over to the sofa, sitting next to her. She took a few deep breaths, attempting to reel in her tears.

“We started dating at Hogwarts,” Aurora said. “He helped me to run away from home… and then he asked me to marry him... We were together for three years. I found out I was pregnant with you just after he was...”

“Framed for killing all those muggles and taken off to Azkaban,” Ellie finished. Aurora whipped her head over, eyes wide. “Ginny told me as much months ago in DA. Said he’s Harry’s godfather, too.” 

“Ah… right,” Aurora said, looking back to her hands. “He really was… a good man…”

“Was he… was that who you were talking about at Christmas?” Ellie asked, thinking back all those months ago. Back when her mother had been happy. Excited about introducing Ellie to the mystery man that she had been dating. A sad smile crept across Aurora’s face as more tears coursed down her cheeks.

“Yes,” she said. “He wanted to meet you so badly, but I was afraid that it would be too overwhelming… we had… this whole thing planned out for when you returned home… Going to tell you about the wedding. And this… And now… he’s gone.”

Aurora covered her mouth as a sob broke loose, the pain evident on her face. 

“I see now I made a horrible mistake,” she whispered. “I should have… we should have…” She dropped her head into her hands, her shoulders shaking.

Ellie just sat there, stunned, as she watched her mother cry. In all her life, she had never seen Aurora this broken. She wasn’t sure what she should do. If she should comfort her? Or perhaps give her some privacy?

Should _she_ be crying? She didn’t really feel like crying, though Ellie wasn’t completely sure what she felt. Her stomach churned slightly, and her head was starting to ache with the onslaught of information.

Aurora then sat up and pulled Ellie into her arms. Leaning her head on her mother’s shoulder, her thoughts turned from Sirius to what happened next. Where would they live now that her mother had gotten the divorce? Would the Selwyns still come after them? Were they finally safe? Or would they need to stay on the run like her mother at been all year? It was dizzying, all the sudden changes.

“I’m so sorry, Ellie. I wanted you to meet him so badly. And he was so eager to meet you… officially, anyway,” Aurora said.

“How do you mean?”

“Well… you’ve already sort of met him… Sirius was an animagus. He turned into a large black dog,” Aurora said.

“You mean… Snuffles? Professor Lupin’s dog… that was him?” Ellie asked softly thinking back to Christmas. The friendly dog hadn’t left her side the entire visit. He had seemed particularly bright for a dog and now she knew why.

“Yes… he couldn’t stand to go all through the break without being around you. Even if he couldn’t let you know that it was him,” Aurora said, sniffling. Ellie nodded, a lump forming in her throat.

“Mum… are we going to be okay?” she asked, her voice small.

“Oh, heavens, yes, Ellie. We’ll be okay,” Aurora said, kissing the side of her head. “We have to be…”

* * *

Ellie sighed as she sat down on the bed in the room she was sharing with Ginny later on that night. After the memorial service, most of the others cleared out, though Professor Lupin and the auror Tonks had stuck around. They had a rather quiet dinner. Aurora hadn’t said much, though Mrs. Weasley and Tonks had attempted to keep things upbeat by chatting about the summer break and what all the kids hoped to do. Ellie had answered politely enough, though kept glancing at her mother. 

They were supposed to be moving into her grandmother’s manor, but her mother hadn’t given her a date yet, only saying, “Soon.” Ellie was wondering just how far away “soon” was. Though it probably had more to do with the fact that Aurora wasn’t ready to leave this place. It was Sirius’ house, after all. And her home for the last several months. 

But now she and Ginny were in their room with no adults about. Free to finally talk about how Ellie was really feeling.

“You think you two will move soon?” Ginny asked, getting into her own pajamas.

“I hope so. This place is starting to depress me,” Ellie said, glancing around at the dark wallpaper and heavy curtains covering the window. She suspected this was how the Slytherin common room looked. All dark and green.

“How long’s it been since you were last there?” Ginny asked.

“Maybe… seven or eight years?” Ellie said, scrunching her nose in concentration. “Hard to remember… we didn’t really go that often… D-dad didn’t like it…”

“He was a right good git,” Ginny replied, probably thinking to the fact that he never let Ellie have any of her Gryffindor friends over. 

“Yea, he was never that great,” Ellie replied with a sigh. “Still can’t believe that she’s left him for good. Or that he’s in Azkaban.” She looked over at Ginny. “Bit odd when you think about it… both my fathers have been in Azkaban…”

“Yea, but _he_ deserves it. He _is_ a death eater,” Ginny retorted. Ellie nodded but didn’t say anything. She supposed in her own way, she had loved him. He was her father, after all, or at least she had thought he was for all her life until a few days ago. Regardless of how he had been, there was a connection, faint as it might be, with him. She still felt absolutely nothing towards Sirius, even if part of her wished that she did.

“What did you think about him? Sirius?” Ellie asked, looking over at Ginny as she paused in putting her pyjamas on. The older girl turned to look at her.

“I liked him. He was funny. Bright,” she said. “Especially after your mother found him again.” Ellie nodded slowly. 

“She hasn’t told me how she did that… there’s a lot she hasn’t told me,” Ellie said, scuffing the toes of her slippers against the wood floor. 

“She’s still grieving,” Ginny said. “I’m sure she’ll tell you loads of stories about him once she’s feeling better.”

“I suppose,” Ellie said with a sigh as she stood and walked towards the door. “I’ll be back.”

She stepped out into the dark corridor, moving towards the bathroom to brush her teeth, when she heard something. Ellie stopped, even though she already knew what it was. She leaned over the railing, glancing down the stairs towards the floor below where her mother was staying. The sound of sobbing floated up the stairs, along with gentled, hushed tones.

Ellie crept down the stairs, finding the door to her mother’s room slightly ajar. 

“You’ve got to pull yourself together, Rora,” she heard Professor Lupin say softly. “I know this is hard, but… you have to think of Ellie…”

“For god’s sake, I know, Remus,” Aurora retorted. “But… what am I supposed to do? He should be here! We were supposed to do this together!”

“I know. It’s incredibly unfair. Just as you’ve found each other again, you’re ripped apart,” Remus said. 

“I feel… like I’m missing part of me,” Aurora replied. “Like there’s a large, gaping hole in my chest and I cannot fill it…”

For a few moments, all Ellie heard was the sound of her mother sobbing loudly.

“I know… I feel like part of me is missing too,” she barely heard Professor Lupin say softly. “It’s going to feel that way for a long time, I should think…”

“Will it ever get better?” her mother sobbed.

“Maybe? I’d like to think that it will. Or at least that we’ll be able to manage it,” Remus answered truthfully.

“She’ll never get to meet him… that’s the worst part of this… Ellie deserves to have a loving father… he adored her already…”

“I know. As I said, it’s not fair,” Remus replied.

“I’ll bloody kill Bellatrix if I ever get my hands on her,” Aurora nearly shouted, her voice sounding ferocious for just a moment. “I’ll squeeze the life out of her with my own two hands-”

“Rora,” Professor Lupin chided.

“You were there. You… you saw it, too. Don’t tell me that you don’t want to kill her as well,” Aurora said. Ellie’s eyes widened. Her mother had been at the Ministry that night? How had she even known what was going on? Oh, right. She had been living with Sirius. If he had heard about Harry and the others going to the Ministry, then her mother must have gone with him.

Ellie took a step closer and ventured a look into the room. Her mother was seated on a sofa, leaning over as she stared at the fireplace and flames danced across her face, highlighting her wet cheeks. Remus was at her side, rubbing her back. She was still in her dress from the memorial service. It was hard to imagine her mother being there in the Ministry. Fighting death eaters. More than that, fighting against her fath-... er. Ellie really was going to have to figure out something to call him. Now that she knew he wasn’t really her father, she didn’t particularly want to keep calling him that.

But Mr. Selwyn seemed odd. As did referring to him by his given name… Perhaps she would discuss this with Ginny. Or just think of him as _him_. Or _that man_.

“You can’t stop being there for Ellie. She needs you,” Remus said.

“I know,” Aurora said softly. “Once again… she’s all I have left. I would walk to the ends of the earth for her…”

“Perhaps start with moving to the manor?”


	2. To Build a New Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aurora is still struggling to talk about Sirius after his death while Ellie wants nothing more than to find some sort of connection with the man who is apparently her father. Both get a bit of help from an old family friend.

A few days later, Ellie stood in the hallway on the first floor, looking up. Her mother’s door had been closed as she came down for breakfast and she wondered if she would join them that morning. Sometimes she did, though most times she preferred to take a tray. In fact, Ellie had only seen her mother venture out of her room a total of maybe twice in the past few days.

“Come on, or else Ron’ll eat everything,” Ginny said, stepping into the hallway from the large kitchen. Ellie looked at her and sighed, following her to the rather long table there. Ron was already seated and halfway through his first plate while Mrs. Weasley sat more food out.

“Good morning, Ellie,” she said warmly as the two girls sat down. “Tuck in, dear.” 

“Thanks, Mrs. Weasley,” Ellie said. The older woman glanced towards the door to the kitchen and then quickly turned away. But not before Ellie got a glimpse of concern in her eyes. She couldn’t help as she glanced over her shoulder, hoping her mother would decide that today would be the day that she rejoined the world. 

“Are you intending to try-out for quidditch again this year, Ellie?” Mrs. Weasley asked, looking over at her expectantly.

“Plan to,” Ellie said as she filled her plate. “Think if I get enough practice in over the summer, should be good and ready. And there are open chaser positions now.”

“She’s honestly really good, Mum. Just… with Katie, Alicia and Angelina still there, we didn’t have any spots open,” Ginny said. “Shame you couldn’t play keeper…”

“Hey!” Ron shouted, bits of egg flying out of his mouth. Ginny just smirked at him across the table. 

“Don’t think I have the right build for a keeper,” Ellie said quickly, not wanting to wander into another of the Weasley sibling spats. She had seen enough of them over the years to know that it was a dangerous position. 

“Sure you’ll do well as a chaser,” Ron said, his expression softening slightly as he looked over at her. While she was grateful for it, she felt he only said it out of pity. She had been getting a lot of that lately from whoever stopped by the house. Ellie still hadn’t figured out why so many people were in and out, though assumed they must be checking in on her mother. Perhaps herself as well.

“Thanks,” Ellie said, turning her attention back to her breakfast, though she couldn’t help but glance towards the door again.

“I’ll just take up a tray to Aurora. See how she’s doing,” Mrs. Weasley said, already moving towards the exit with a tray in hand. 

“I’m sure she’ll be fine,” Ginny said after she left. 

“Just wish she would talk to me more,” Ellie said glumly. Ginny furrowed her brow. The two had been up late nearly every night, Ellie expressing her worry over her mother. She was desperate to know more about her father, but every time she had tried to bring it up with her, Aurora would dissolve into sobs, unable to say much. Granted, that was only when she allowed Ellie into her room. Which she didn’t often do, preferring to be on her own. Grief made people act irrationally and emotionally - they had already seen a bit with Harry. Ginny could only imagine how much more difficult it was for Aurora. 

“He was always rather lively,” Ron offered, getting Ellie’s attention. “Telling stories and such when we were here with him.”

“What stories?” Ellie asked, leaning towards him.

“Just about Hogwarts. He and Harry’s dad and Professor Lupin. They called themselves they were all best friends in school. Well… them and Pettigrew,” he said. 

“The man that betrayed the Potters, yea?” Ellie asked, trying to piece together what she did know. Ron nodded. 

“Suppose your mother must of been friends with them as well. She and Professor Lupin seem close,” he said.

“That’s what she told me over Christmas,” Ellie said. “They were old school friends. For a bit I thought perhaps she was dating him…” 

“Professor Lupin?” Ron asked, his eyes wide. Ellie nodded. 

“Turns out it was Sirius,” Ellie said. The three fell into a slightly uncomfortable silence. Ellie was wrapped up in her thoughts, while Ginny and Ron were wondering what to say to help cheer her up. 

“If Mum doesn’t have any chores for us… we could play Exploding Snap after breakfast… if you want,” Ron offered. Ellie smiled slightly, appreciating the effort.

“Sure…”

~~~

“Mum?” Ellie asked, standing at the half-opened door and looking in. Aurora was seated on the sofa inside, still in a robe and her night dress. She looked up, her eyes rimmed in red. She smiled slightly and sat up.

“Come in, darling,” she said. Ellie walked in, making her way over to her mother, sitting next to her on the sofa. In just a few days, her mother looked as though she had aged a few years. Her hair hung lifelessly around her face. Though she was smiling, Ellie could tell she was straining to keep in on her face. 

“I was hoping you’d come to breakfast this morning,” Ellie said cautiously.

“I’m so sorry… I… didn’t sleep well last night,” Aurora said, tucking her hair behind her ears. Ellie nodded and looked at the coffee table in front of them. Many pictures were strewn about along with an empty glass and a tea mug. Ellie leaned down and picked up one - it was of her mother, though she looked younger - and Sirius in a small living room laughing at the camera. 

“Where was this taken?” Ellie asked, staring down at it.

“At our home,” Aurora said. “Sirius found it during Easter break our seventh year… surprised me with it…” Her voice trailed off as she stared at the photograph. 

“How long did you live there?” Ellie asked, looking up at her.

“Three years,” Aurora said softly, already blinking rapidly. “It was all we could afford at the time…” Ellie looked back down at the photograph. Her mother looked happy. Like she had over Christmas. So did Sirius. 

“Did he know about me? While he was in Azkaban?” Ellie asked, looking back up at her mother. Aurora shook her head, bringing her hand to her mouth as she swallowed.

“He… we had just found out about… I didn’t have a chance to tell him before…”

Aurora closed her eyes as tears streaked down her cheeks. Ellie put the photograph back on the table, once again at a loss for what to say or do. It seemed every time she spoke with her mother, it left her in tears.

“It’s okay, Mum,” she said, turning to her mother again. “We can still start over… it’ll be okay…”

Aurora didn’t speak, just shook her head. Ellie frowned slightly, but then leaned over and hugged her mother before standing and walking out of the room, shutting the door behind her as she heard loud sobs escaping from her mother’s lips. She leaned against the door, wondering if she would ever be able to tell her about her father without losing it.

“Ellie.” 

She looked over, seeing Professor Lupin walking down the corridor.

“I don’t think she’s up for visitors right now, Professor,” she said glumly. He stopped walking and looked at the door, sighing and nodding. 

“Perhaps you’d like to join me in the parlour for tea?” he offered. Ellie pushed off from the door, following him back down the stairs. They walked into the room, finding tea already there for them on a table there, along with a large book. Ellie walked over and sat down. Remus sighed and sat next to her, reaching for the book. 

“What was he like?” she asked before he could say anything. “Outside of Mum, you probably knew him better than anyone…” Remus smiled slightly, opening the book. He then pushed it over to Ellie. She looked down, seeing four young boys about 11 in Hogwarts robes. 

“I met him on the train to Hogwarts my first year,” Remus said. “I was never a particularly outgoing child. Rather quiet and withdrawn… but they accepted me as I was. Took me in. And that was in large part thanks to Sirius.” Ellie looked up at him.

“You’ve been friends that long?” she asked. He nodded.

“They were my best friends,” Remus said.

Ellie looked back at the album, slowly turning the page as she studied the photos intently, trying to get a sense of the boy in them. He had a mischievous smile in most of them, the same wild hair that she did. It honestly drove her mad half the time, being unable to tame it.

“He was incredibly loyal, Sirius. To me and our friends. To your mother,” Remus said. “They were very much in love…”

“I gathered that much,” she said looking up at him. “I’ve never seen her like this before.” Remus smiled sadly again and patted her hand.

“Your mother is one of the strongest people I know. It’s hard now, yes. But it will get better. She’ll get better,” he said. “And she has you.”

“I’m beginning to wonder if that’s enough,” Ellie said, frowning. 

“Never underestimate the power of the love of a mother,” Remus replied. Ellie nodded and looked back down at the photos again. She sat up and leaned forward.

In one, Sirius, James, Remus and Peter were all standing together, their arms thrown over each other’s shoulders as they grinned and laughed. They looked about her age. Just in the background, she could make out two girls, one with long, dark hair and the other with bright red hair. 

“Is that Mum?” she asked, pointing at the two.

“I believe so,” he said, leaning over to look at it. “She and Lily, they were never that far from us - being in the same house and all. Though I think a lot of it was because Sirius and James couldn’t seem to stay away from them…”

“Really?” Ellie asked looking up at him. He chuckled and nodded.

“They certainly enjoyed teasing them. One time they slipped a toad in your mother’s bag that she didn’t discover until transfiguration had started… all three of them ended up in detention,” he said. “It was after that detention that Sirius first told me he fancied her.”

“If he fancied her, why did he tease her?” Ellie asked. Remus sighed.

“I think he didn’t know how to talk to her - too nervous,” Remus said. “He figured it out, eventually.”

“Mum always told me that I shouldn’t let anyone get away with teasing me,” Ellie replied.

“Sound advice, I suppose,” Remus said. He glanced towards the door to the parlour, seeing Aurora peering around it slightly. Her cheeks were still wet, but she was watching Ellie. Glancing over, she caught Remus’ eye. As he started to stand, she turned and scurried away. “I’ll be right back…”

~~~

Aurora was standing in front of the unlit fireplace when he strode into her room.

“Thank you,” she said softly. “For speaking with her about…”

“Aurora,” Remus said, the pain evident in his voice. “She needs to hear this from you.”

“I know.”

“She’s confused and upset… and she needs you,” Remus pushed. Aurora looked over at him. “I know this is hard… we all miss him… but you have to think of Ellie right now.”

“I know, Remus,” she said, though there was no fight in her voice. “I can’t keep going on like this.”

“Then go to her,” Remus said, taking a step towards her. Aurora looked to the fireplace again and then around the room. Taking a deep breath, she slowly let it out as she looked back at him.

“I think it’s time,” she said. “I… we need to start moving on.” Remus just stared at her. “It’s time to go to Greenthistle Manor.” Remus smiled softly as he walked over to her, gently hugging her as the tears started flowing again. Though this time, there were no loud sobs. “I’ll speak with her about it today.”

“I am here to help if you need me,” he said.

“Thank you… for everything,” she said.

“It’s what friends do, Rora,” he said. She nodded and then stepped out of his arms, wiping her cheeks. She then walked out of the room and back down the stairs to the parlour. Ellie was still seated there, looking through the photographs.

“Ellie, dear,” Aurora said, as she walked over and sat next to her, taking care to avoid looking at the photos too closely. Ellie looked up, her surprise at seeing her mother out of her room clear on her face. 

“Mum,” she said. Aurora smiled sadly as she tucked a bit of her hair behind her ear. Merlin, she looked so much like him that it hurt at times.

“I’ve been thinking… I think it’s time that we prepared to move Greenthistle Manor. We can go look at it tomorrow, if you like,” she said softly. Ellie smiled and nodded. She was eager to get out of the depressing house.

“I’d like that,” she said. Aurora then pulled her into a hug.

“I’m sorry that I haven’t… been present… but that’s all going to change,” she said, looking towards the window. “Tomorrow… we’re starting a new life.”

“A good life,” Ellie added. Aurora smiled as her eyes teared up again.

“Yes… a good life…”


	3. Making Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally it seems as though things are starting to move forward for Ellie and her mother. A trip to the old Greenthistle Manor helps Aurora to open more.

Ellie coughed slightly as she walked into the large manor with her mother, her eyes wide at the sheer size of it. It was vastly bigger than the manor where she had grown up, though everything was covered in dust, all the furniture with sheets over it. It looked as though it hadn’t been entered since her grandmother died. Probably hadn’t.

It was vastly brighter than Selwyn Manor, with light pouring in from the large windows that adorned the front of the building. There was wood paneling everywhere, though it was in a cheery shade of cherry. While more of the outside was covered in vines than Ellie remembered - barely any of the grey stone was visible in some parts - she felt that it added to the charm of Greenthistle Manor.

“There’s a lot of work to do,” Aurora said, looking around with a pained expression on her face. Ellie looked over at her and Aurora attempted a small smile. “But I think we can manage with a bit of help.”

“All this room for just us?” Ellie asked, looking back at the large foyer with the grand staircase that led up to the floors above them.

“It was just me and Mother for a long time,” Aurora said, looking around again. “And a bevy of servants and house elves to keep it up. Suppose we’ll have to do the same…” 

“About time someone came around,” a large portrait on the wall said indignantly. Ellie and Aurora looked over, slightly shocked by the intrusion. 

“So sorry, Grandmother Greenthistle,” Aurora said. The old woman just harrumphed and then walked out of the frame. “She’s a bit… testy at times. Come on, I suppose I can give you the tour… it’s been awhile.”

The two walked through the first level of the house, peeking into various rooms, with Aurora explaining what they were used for - there was the formal parlour for entertaining, a cigar room, smaller drawing room, then a large, open ballroom. Ellie felt like her eyes might fall out of her head, they were opened so wide.

They finally came to a stop in a large library, still full of books, though it looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in decades. Sheets covered all the furniture, though she could tell there were several sofas and tables about. 

“My father would be in here often. More often than his private study,” Aurora said after she had waved her wand and opened the large curtains, causing a cloud of dust to fill the air. Ellie smiled slightly. She loved hearing stories of her grandfather. “Think this just needs a bit of dusting and it should be fine. Though I fear what we might find once we uncover the furniture…”

“Did he read all these books?” Ellie asked, looking around at the shelves. Aurora chuckled.

“Believe he tried,” she commented, walking up to a shelf and pulling one book out. “Dare say even he couldn’t finish them all…” She then shut the book and replaced it, turning to walk out of the room.

They continued on, checking in the kitchens and the large, formal dining room, then the smaller dining area where they mostly ate when they weren’t entertaining and the family den. Finally, they had made their way to the large greenhouse at the back of the manor. 

Another pain-filled expression came over Aurora’s face as she looked at the dead plants and flowers that littered the plant beds. The windows were murky and Ellie couldn’t see out them to the vast back garden. 

“This is where Grandmama kept her roses, wasn’t it?” Ellie asked, walking up to a nearby bed and taking in the withered plant. 

“Yes. And where I would work on potions,” Aurora answered. Ellie looked back at her, noticing the tears in her eyes. 

“We can fix it up,” Ellie said earnestly. “Make it better than the one you had before.” She looked around the room. “We can put flowers here - maybe those irises that you love… and then… over there could be various herbs and such that you need for potions… ehm… what about a tropical section over there? Near the windows? From what I remember, they need lots of sun-”

Ellie stopped speaking as she felt her mother’s arms around her in a tight hug. She turned slightly and hugged her mother back. They stood there in silence a few moments before Aurora spoke.

“I think that’s a lovely idea,” she said, finally letting go of Ellie and looking around as she wiped her cheeks, a faint light entering her eyes. “Yes, tropical plants there. And… perhaps we can work on recultivating some of Grandmama’s roses? She really did have the best collection in the wizarding world… they were her pride and joy… and over there is perfect for working on potions…” Ellie smiled, happy to see some of the life returning to her mother. 

They moved on, making their way to the second floor where the family mostly resided - there were also a few guest rooms along with a private study. The third floor was mostly where the servants and house elves stayed, with a large attic above that. With each room that they looked into, Aurora’s eyes got a bit brighter as she brainstormed out loud how they could fix it up. They finally came to one room located at the back near the large master suite. It was mostly void of furniture, but there were a few items covered in sheets. Ellie’s eyes lit up as she walked straight towards a pair of French doors, pushing them open and stepping out onto a terrace. She could see all of the back gardens from there.

“This room is brilliant!” she exclaimed, looking over at her mother as she followed her. Ellie turned back to the dead gardens, for a moment, seeing them as they once were when her grandmother was alive. She could make out a few fountains and benches among the dead bushes and flower beds. “We can fix up the gardens too, oh… and Mum! That space right there? It’s the perfect size for a practice pitch! And over there, just by the patio that leads out from the greenhouse? It’s perfect for a pool!” 

She looked over at Aurora, a hopeful smile on her face.

“Ellie Grace, are you asking me for a backyard quidditch pitch _and_ a pool?” Aurora asked, a small smile on her face. Ellie nodded eagerly. With a chuckle and a sigh, Aurora shook her head. “I suppose we could arrange it.” Ellie squealed and ran over, hugging her mother. She then walked back into the room, which was flooded with light from the large windows. She noticed it had its own attached bathroom and then walked over to another door, opening it to reveal a large, walk-in wardrobe. 

She wasn’t sure what it was, but there was something about the room that spoke to her. She knew this was hers.

“Mum… can this be my room?” she asked, turning back to face Aurora as she walked in, shutting the French doors behind her. “Please?”

“Of course,” Aurora said, looking around the room with a sad smile. “Seems fitting… this was my room growing up.” Ellie’s eyes widened. 

“Really?” she asked. Aurora nodded and looked back over at her. 

“We could… get some workers out. Paint it whatever color you like. And you can pick out the furniture… dare say most of this is out of style and rather run down,” Aurora said. Ellie once again ran over and wrapped her arms around her mother. 

“Mum… this place is going to be brilliant,” she said, looking at her. There were more tears in Aurora’s eyes, but at least this time she was smiling. Aurora nodded and looked around the room.

“There was a time when I thought it impossible to have happy memories from this place, but… I think we can manage it… now,” she said softly. Ellie grabbed her hand and started pulling her out of the room.

“Come on… let’s decide how to decorate your room…”

~~~

That night back at Headquarters, Aurora and Ellie sat in the kitchen, going over the renovations plans with the Weasleys and Professor Lupin. Both were eager to get it fixed up quickly. While there was a lot of work to be done, Aurora felt they could move their things over tomorrow, staying in some of the guest rooms that hadn’t been completely emptied out until their own were fixed up. They just needed to clean them out a bit.

They were planning to meet with a wizarding design company the next day to get things started. Then they would need to contact an employment firm about hiring the various help needed - kitchen staff, maids, butlers, house elves and so on. It would be a lot of work, but Ellie was grateful that they would have something to focus on over the summer. Perhaps it would help her mother to heal. 

“The greenhouse and gardens are going to take a bit more time, but I think the rest of the manor should be in fair order over the next few weeks,” Aurora said. “As long as we can get all the necessary help hired.” 

“Don’t forget the pitch and the pool,” Ellie added. Aurora chuckled. 

“Of course not - and the quidditch pitch and swimming pool,” she said. She then glanced over at Professor Lupin. “The guest cottage is still in good condition. The offer to have it still stands.” Lupin choked slightly on his tea as Ellie’s eyes widened slightly. She hadn’t known about that. 

“You should take it, Remus. I bet it’s far better than here or your current place,” Mrs. Weasley said warmly. “And I’m sure Aurora and Ellie could use the help. Seems they’ve got a large amount of work ahead of them this summer.” 

“I don’t want to get in the way,” he said cautiously. 

“You wouldn’t. And Molly is right - we could use the help,” Aurora said before taking a sip of her own tea. Ellie glanced over at Ginny, who just shrugged. Apparently, she hadn’t heard about this before either. 

“Then… I suppose I could,” Professor Lupin finally said. Aurora smiled.

“Then it’s settled. Ellie and I will move in tomorrow after we visit with the decorators and get started on cleaning. We’ll have the cottage ready for you by the end of the week,” she said decidedly. She then looked over at Ellie. “You ready to go home?” Ellie nodded.

“Yes, I am.”

~~~

“Your mum seems loads better,” Ginny said as she and Ellie got ready for bed that night.

“Yea… I think going to the manor helped,” Ellie replied, smiling. “Once we got there, she started telling me stories about my grandfather and imagining what we would do to the various rooms… maybe she just needs a project.” 

“Couldn’t hurt,” Ginny said as she crawled into her bed. She then hesitated a bit as Ellie crawled into hers. “Did… did you talk about him any?” Ellie sighed and shook her head.

“I wanted to ask her about him, but… she finally seemed somewhat happy and I didn’t want to ruin it,” she said, frowning slightly. “But maybe once we’ve gotten started on some of the work, I could ask her.”

“I think she’ll be more willing to talk about him once you’re away from here… it was his home. Sure every nook and cranny reminds her of him,” Ginny said sensibly. Ellie nodded as she glanced around the dark room.

“Yea,” she said. 

“By the way, how do you feel about Professor Lupin being your neighbor?” Ginny asked. Ellie made a slight face, causing Ginny to chuckle.

“I mean, it’s not that I don’t mind it… he’s nice enough and he _was_ my favorite professor before, but… suppose I’m still just coming to terms with the fact that he and Mum were close. Are close,” Ellie said. “But ultimately, I think it’s a good thing. If he can help her with… you know… losing Sirius… and us with getting the manor into shape, then it’s not so bad.” 

“How are you feeling? About Sirius?” Ginny asked. Ellie sighed and leaned back against her pillows.

“About the same, I suppose. I mean… I still don’t really know much about him,” she said, frowning slightly. “Hard to really grieve someone you don’t know. Doesn’t help that everyone seems to think I look like him and act like him and such…” 

Ginny quickly crawled out of her bed and hopped over to Ellie’s. She hugged the younger girl.

“Don’t worry. You’ll figure it out,” she said before letting her go. Ellie smiled.

“Thanks, Gin,” she said.

“What are best friends for?”


	4. Birthday Parties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In hopes to cheer up Ellie, Aurora throws her a belated birthday party at the manor. However, a night of girl talk turns into Ellie finding out her mother is keeping even more secrets. Not to mention, Ellie is still keeping one rather large secret of her own.

A couple weeks later, Ellie made her way downstairs to the kitchen in her pyjamas. Though it was about 9 a.m., the manor was already alive with workers and servants bustling around here and there, working furiously to get the home in shape. Aurora had them start on their bedrooms first and they had moved into them after a few days, but now they were working room-by-room at a dizzying space. 

“Ellie, dear!” the cook exclaimed as she walked in. Her mother had hired many of the staff that had once worked at Selwyn Manor as they were all out of a job after the arrest of Evan Selwyn. Ellie grinned as she ran over and hugged the older woman. She had always liked Mrs. Clark. “Your mother is speaking with the foreman about the pool and quidditch pitch, but suspect she’ll be in soon. What would you like for breakfast?” 

“Ehm… just the usual,” Ellie said, walking over to the fridge and pulling out a pitcher of orange juice. 

“Then have yourself a seat over there and I’ll get it right up for you,” Mrs. Clark said cheerfully. Ellie poured herself a glass and returned the orange juice to the fridge before settling in the breakfast nook, looking out the window. She could see over towards the guest cottage that sat on the edge of the property, noting that more flowers had been planted around it. 

“Morning,” Aurora said breezily as she walked into the kitchen and sat across from Ellie at the table. She was already showered and dressed, her hair pulled back in a low ponytail and sleeves rolled up to her elbows. “You’re up earlier than I expected.”

“Couldn’t really sleep with all the noise,” Ellie replied. “But it’s fine.” 

“I was thinking we could get started on the greenhouse today. The plants and seeds we ordered should be in soon,” Aurora said, smiling at her. Ellie couldn’t help but grin. In just the few weeks they had been back, her mother had come alive. Well… mostly. Ellie could still see hints of sadness in her eyes at times. And she still didn’t speak about Sirius much. But she still counted this as improvement over holing up in her bedroom all day. 

“Sounds good,” Ellie said cheerfully.

“And I was thinking… I know your birthday was last month, but the pool will be finished up tomorrow and most of the manor is ready, at least the main common areas, what if we had a birthday party for you at the weekend?” Aurora suggested. “To make up for not doing anything on your actual birthday.” There was a hint of guilt in her mother’s blue eyes. Ellie knew it was because of everything that was going on and didn’t blame her. But she couldn’t help but feel excited about the prospect of having her friends over.

“Could I have a slumber party?” she asked. Evan had never allowed her friends to stay over in the past. In fact, he hadn’t allowed any of her friends over period unless they were the right sort of pureblood. Her birthday parties before Hogwarts had consisting of the children of his friends and work associates, all of whom were now in Slytherin. To say that they were rather unenjoyable - despite her mother’s efforts to make them fun - was an understatement. 

“I think that should be fine,” Aurora said with a smile. “Just let me know who you want to invite, and I’ll take care of the rest.” Ellie nodded just as Mrs. Clark put a plate in front of her and handed Aurora a cup of tea. “Thank you, Mrs. Clark.”

“Dare say, I’m enjoying this place a fair bit more than the other,” Mrs. Clark said happily, looking around the updated kitchen. “So much more space.” 

“I’m happy to hear that,” Aurora said, though there was a faint grimace across her face. Ellie knew that she didn’t like to be reminded of Selwyn Manor.

“So much light and happiness,” Mrs. Clark said, patting Aurora on the cheek before bustling off to work on something else. Aurora sighed and returned to her tea.

“Mistress!” Mitsy said as she popped up next to Aurora, causing her to jump slightly.

“Yes, Mitsy,” she asked, picking up and dabbing at the tea she had split on her shirt. 

“The pool man wishes to speak with you,” the house elf squeaked.

“Thank you, I’ll be out shortly,” Aurora said, smiling at her. The elf nodded and disappeared. Aurora sighed before downing her tea and standing. 

“Meet you in the greenhouse after you get ready,” she said with a smile before kissing the top of Ellie’s head and then walking out of the kitchen. Ellie watched her, still smiling before she turned to her breakfast.

Yes, this life was infinitely better than before, she thought to herself as she tucked in.

~~~

That weekend, Ellie was already sitting in a chaise lounge by the new pool, her sunglasses on, sipping lemonade while she waited on Ginny and the rest of her friends to arrive. Her mother had been bustling around all day, getting Professor Lupin to help her as she got decorations up and oversaw all the food and other preparations. There was music playing from a magical wireless. Off in the distance, the brand-new hoops on the practice pitch glinted in the sunlight. Even the back gardens were mostly finished, the fountains turned on again. Ellie looked towards the open doors leading into the house, hearing her mother shouting out questions to the cook and then Professor Lupin. 

There was already a table of snacks and drinks with more in a nearby cooler.

Ellie sat up, grinning as she saw Ginny walk out, her mouth gaping as she looked around at the backyard and over at the large greenhouse attached to the back of the manor.

“This… is your home?” Ginny asked as she walked up to Ellie. The younger girl felt a bit embarrassed. She had never thought about the fact that she was from a rich family before as no one had ever been to her house, though she had been to the Weasleys’ many times and never really thought about the differences until now. 

“Ehm, yea… it’s been in my grandfather’s family for… forever, I guess,” she said, glancing around.

“I mean, I guess I always knew you were rich, but… you never came off that way,” Ginny said, looking over at the pool. Ellie blushed again.

“I’ll show you to my room so you can change,” she said quickly, hoping to divert anymore questions about her family’s wealth. The two quickly went through the house, and up to Ellie’s room. Ginny looked around the room with approval. They had painted the walls a pale lavender and already they were covered in posters of the Weird Sisters, along with various quidditch teams. She also had photos of her and her friends up. A new bed was there, covered in a dark plum duvet and pillows. Ginny grinned as she dropped her bag and ran out to the terrace.

“The pitch looks great!” she shouted. “I should come here to practice.”

“I’ve been out on it a bit. Not as big as an actual pitch, but works for practice,” Ellie said, joining her. 

“This place is brilliant, Ellie!” Ginny exclaimed. Ellie just shrugged, though she had to admit that her mother had done an amazing job with getting the manor back together. 

“We’re still working on the greenhouse and some of the gardens. And some of the guest rooms aren’t ready yet as well as some of the other rooms downstairs, but Mum thinks it should be fully ready before I get back for Christmas,” Ellie said. “Thinks we could possibly have a New Year’s Eve party here.” 

“Please do,” Ginny said, grinning. 

Soon enough, the two girls were back down in the backyard, jumping into the pool as they waited on the others. 

“You ask you mum more about Sirius yet?” Ginny asked as she hopped up on a floating lounge, getting to the point before the others arrived. Ellie sighed.

“Not much. I’ve brought him up a few times, but she still changes the subject more often than not,” she replied. “It’s almost like she wants to forget that he was even alive.”

“I’m sure that’s not it. She’s just… well… still probably not easy. It’s only been a couple months,” Ginny replied. 

“Suppose,” Ellie said.

“ELLIE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” 

The two looked over, seeing two of Ellie’s roommates run out - Meredith and Moira. The two had been in the DA as well. Just behind them, Hannah Abbott and Susan Bones followed, along with Luna Lovegood. The last girl glanced around the yard curiously before looking at Ellie.

“This place would be perfect for breeding pixie puffs,” she said, looking at Ellie, smiling serenely. 

“Ehm… suppose it would,” Ellie replied, a bit unsure, but not wanting to tell Luna so. 

“Can Mitsy show the little misses to Miss Ellie’s room to change?” Mitsy said, appearing next to the group of girls.

“Lead the way!” Moira said cheerfully. 

Shortly after, all the girls were out playing in the pool as Aurora, Lupin and Tonks helped set up another table with dinner. She then called the girls over and they ate, everyone joking and talking. It was then time for the cake - a masterpiece baked by Mrs. Clark with three tiers and 14 candles. Ellie caught her mother wiping away a few tears after she blew out the candles. She then started handing her presents to open - noting there were a few more this year, likely to make up for the fact that they were celebrating it a month later. 

After the girls had had their share of food and swimming, they were all in Ellie’s room upstairs while the adults stayed behind to clean up. The large room was now filled with pillows and sleeping bags for everyone, along with various sweets and such. Music was playing again from the magical wireless her mother had gotten her earlier in the week.

It seemed music filled the large house more often than not, which was a happy departure from the suffocating silence of Selwyn Manor.

“Your room is as big as my living room,” Meredith said, her eyes wide as she looked around.

“It was my mother’s room when she grew up here,” Ellie said from where she was perched on her bed next to Ginny. 

“Can we have all our parties here during the summer?” Moira asked brightly.

“Suppose,” Ellie replied, slightly uncomfortable. 

“So… you ready to go back to Hogwarts?” Hannah asked. “Sure you’re eager to see Finnegan again.” The brunette smiled slyly at Ellie as her cheeks turned pink.

“Dunno what you’re talking about,” she said immediately. It was well known among the group of girls that Ellie had developed a bit of a crush on him while in the DA. Ginny cackled loudly, causing Ellie to frown at her.

“Puh-lease, Ellie. We all know he’s likely the first person you’re going to look for on the Express,” Moira said lightly.

“He’s a decent wizard,” Luna said airily. “Though I wouldn’t stand too close when he’s doing magic lest you get singed.” 

“I do not fancy him,” Ellie said, trying to sound resolute but even she didn’t really believe herself. “Besides… he’s in sixth year now. Doubt he cares about a fourth year.” 

“You never know,” Hannah said. “He could take interest this year.” Ellie rolled her eyes and threw a bit of popcorn at her, which she dodged in a fit of giggles. 

“Yea, well maybe Ernie MacMillan will finally take an interest in you this year,” Ellie said, feeling a bit pleased when Hannah’s cheeks turned pink. 

“Do you think we’ll have DA again?” Luna asked, derailing the conversation for the twentieth time that night. They all looked at her and then at each other.

“Dunno… suppose we could keep it up,” Ginny said thoughtfully.

“But Umbridge is gone. Hopefully we’ll have a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher that knows their stuff and won’t need it,” Susan said. “But guess it’s up to Harry…”

They all fell a bit silent, likely all thinking to the fight in the Ministry and the death of Sirius Black, which Harry had been reeling from the last they had all seen him. 

“Your mother fought very bravely, you know,” Luna said. Ellie turned to look at her. “She protected me and some of the others.”

“Wait, your mum was at the Ministry?” Moira asked loudly. 

“Yea, I saw her there,” Ginny said, shifting on the bed. 

“She was devastated when Sirius Black was killed,” Luna said. Ellie wanted to glare at her for bringing it up - she still wasn’t sure she wanted everyone to know that he was her father. She glanced at Ginny out of the corner of her eye and slightly shook her head, silently warning her not to say anything. 

“Yea, well… they were, ehm… dating, I guess,” Ellie said, looking down and picking at a thread on the comforter. She figured she’d tell them at least that much. It wasn’t like it was a secret, anyway. Seemed loads of people had known about it when she was at Grimmauld Place.

“WHAT?!” Meredith and Moira shouted at the same time. Ellie’s face turned red again.

“Really? Your mother was dating Sirius Black while she was in hiding?” Susan asked, flabbergasted. Everyone in the room save Luna and Ginny seemed shocked by the news. 

“She told me when I came back from Hogwarts,” Ellie said. “But, I mean… they were friends in school. She was friends with Professor Lupin as well…” 

“I didn’t know your mum was at school with all of them,” Hannah said, her eyes wide.

“Same year. Same house,” Ellie said with a sigh. She then looked around, seeing some of the snack bowls were empty. “I, ehm, I’ll go to the kitchen to get more food.” She then hopped off the bed, grabbed the bowls and bolted out of the room before anyone could ask her more questions that she was uncomfortable with. 

She quickly made her way downstairs and was about to head to the kitchen when she heard voices. Stopping, she looked towards the open doors that led to the greenhouse. She recognized those of Professor Lupin and Tonks. Quietly, she edged closer, seeing the three adults seated around a wrought iron table.

“You need to tell her, Rora,” Professor Lupin said, a look of concern on his face. The same look was mirrored on Tonks’.

“I know,” Aurora said with a sigh. “It’s just… how do I tell her this?” 

“Suppose you start with sitting her down,” Tonks said. 

“She’s already been through so much… and she’s been so strong this summer… much stronger than I’ve been,” Aurora continued.

“But she needs to know. You won’t be able to hide it much longer,” Tonks said. Aurora looked up at her and Remus and nodded.

“I know… I will… just need to figure out how,” she replied. Ellie frowned as she turned and walked quickly to the kitchen. She couldn’t help but be a bit upset. Her mother was still keeping secrets from her, though it seemed she had planned to tell her this one at some point. 

Taking a deep breath, Ellie pushed it aside. She’d bring it up tomorrow after everyone left. Tonight, she was just going to have fun with her friends. 


	5. Coming Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life has more changes in store for Ellie - and this one she most definitely did not see coming. However, it seems her mother is finally able to open up more about Sirius Black without breaking down.

The next day, Ellie and her mother were seated at the table in the greenhouse, eating lunch. Her friends had just left and Aurora thought they could work on repotting plants that afternoon. More and more were pouring into the home, with Aurora and Ellie spending many of their evenings going through various herbology catalogs and deciding on what they wanted to plant and where.

Aurora was chatting about some of the new flowers that had come in while Ellie was carefully thinking over just how she wanted to bring up what she had heard the night before. She didn’t want to give her mother the chance to put it off for too long, whatever it was. 

“Ah, and well… I’ve got another present for you,” Aurora said, getting Ellie’s attention. The young teen sat up in her chair, watching as her mother walked over to the section she had quickly set up for her potions. She opened a drawer and pulled out a small package and an envelope then walked back over and set it down on the table next to Ellie’s plate before returning to her chair.

“What’s this?” Ellie asked, picking up the envelope and not recognizing the writing.

“I found it… among his things. Seems Sirius had already bought you a present and wrote a letter,” Aurora said softly. Ellie looked up at her, her eyes wide, then back down at the envelope. She wasn’t sure she wanted to open it. Not yet, anyway. “He really did love you, Ellie…”

“Then why won’t you talk to me about him?” she asked, looking back up at her mother. Tears were already pooling in her eyes. “Every time I try you… you run off or change the subject.” Aurora took a deep breath.

“It’s not that I don’t want to, dear. You have to understand… this isn’t easy for me,” she started.

“But it’s easier to keep things from me?” Ellie asked. Aurora just blinked a few times. “I heard you, you know. Last night when you were talking to Professor Lupin and Tonks. You’re still keeping things from me.” A pained expression came across Aurora’s face as she looked down at her lap. “I can handle it. I’ve handled everything else rather well, I think.”

“I know,” Aurora said, looking back up at her. “And I’m sure you can handle this as well… just… it came as a bit of a surprise…”

“What is it?” Ellie asked, feeling her heart speed up. Just what was her mother hiding from her?

“Ellie, dear… I’m pregnant,” she said softly. Ellie’s eyes widened as they dropped to her mother’s still flat stomach. She was pregnant? At her age? What would people say? Would they think it was Evan Selwyn’s? Though it was a matter of math. Most people would deduce that it couldn’t be his since she had been on the run.

They would know that it was Sirius – at least those who had known that she had been in hiding with him, which thankfully was not many at this point.

But it would bring up a number of questions that Ellie didn’t want to answer. Not yet, anyway. She still didn’t want anyone else to know that he was her father, not until she was able to come to some sort of understanding of it herself. And this would ruin that. Merlin, her mother and Sirius were adults. Even at 14, Ellie understood how things worked. How could they be so careless?

“What?” Ellie managed to get out. There were far too many things running around in her head that she wanted to say, but that was the only thing that came from her lips.

“Well… from what I’ve figured, I’m not that far along-”

“You’re pregnant? With _his_ child?” Ellie said. Aurora frowned slightly.

“He’s your father as well,” she said. 

“Yea, but… what are people going to say, Mum?” Ellie asked. 

“I don’t really care what they say, Ellie. We loved each other. And we loved you. And I know he would have loved this new little one on the way,” Aurora continued. Ellie shot up out of her chair and started into the house. “Ellie! Where are you going?! We need to talk about this!”

Ellie didn’t reply as she ran through the house and up to her room. She slammed her door shut and began pacing around the room. She knew she only had so long before her mother appeared. She couldn’t do magic outside of school and therefore couldn’t put up any sort of locking charm to keep her out.

She then stopped pacing as her eyes fell on the large fireplace there and the small pot of floo powder on the mantle. Before her mother could get there, she ran over and grabbed a handful. She then stepped in and tossed it while shouting “The Burrow!”

~~~

“Ellie, dear. We weren’t expecting you,” Mrs. Weasley said as Ellie tumbled out of the fireplace covered in soot. 

“Sorry,” Ellie said as she stood up and attempted to brush it off her, but only managed to make a mess on the Weasleys’ floor.

“Quite all right, dear,” Mrs. Weasley said soothingly, already motioning with her wand and cleaning up both the floor and Ellie.

“Ginny here?” Ellie asked.

“Up in her room,” Mrs. Weasley said, pointing up the stairs. Ellie nodded and bounded up the stairs. She stopped for a moment, hearing voices coming from Ron’s room up the stairs, but then focused on the task at hand. She knocked on Ginny’s door.

“Come in!”

She pushed open the door and walked in, a surprised Ginny looking at her from her desk where she was doing her summer homework.

“Ellie… what are you doing here?” she asked, frowning slightly.

“She’s pregnant. My mum. With his baby,” Ellie said in one breath. Ginny’s eyes widened.

“Your mum is going to have a baby?” she asked, standing from the desk. Ellie nodded.

“She just told me,” she said, walking over and sitting on Ginny’s bed. She looked over, seeing the other twin bed was made up and a pack was already on it. “Who’s here?”

“Hermione and Harry,” Ginny said, walking over to shut the door. “So… she just told you this today?” Ellie nodded.

“I overheard her talking to Lupin and Tonks about telling me something last night. And then after you all left, she gave me a present from Sirius and a letter. I didn’t open them, just… I demanded to hear what it was that she didn’t want to say to me,” Ellie said.

“That’s why you came in with a wonky look on your face,” Ginny said. She then took a deep breath and sat next to Ellie. “How do you feel about this?”

“I… I don’t know,” Ellie said shaking her head. “I mean, I thought I had been taking it in well, but… everything’s changed.” She looked at Ginny. “Everything. And while I’m happy with most of it - Merlin knows this is better than being at Selwyn Manor and under… _his_ rule - I just… I don’t know how much more I can take.”

“Is it really so bad that she’s pregnant? I mean, they were planning to get married-”

“Yea, and I didn’t know a damn thing about it!” Ellie shouted. “Any of it! She could have told me at Christmas, let me meet him, but she didn’t! She kept all of it a secret! And now this!” Ellie dropped her head into her hands. “It’s all… it’s getting to be a bit too much…”

Ginny wrapped her arms around Ellie and pulled her close.

“It doesn’t have to be so bad. And your mother… she had her reasons, you know,” she said.

“I’m tired of hearing about her reasons,” Ellie retorted. 

“Perhaps if you just… talked to her,” Ginny suggested.

“She won’t talk to me. Not about him, anyway,” Ellie said. “It’s all gotten rather frustrating.” 

“Look, I know it’s been hard for you… but it’s been hard for her too,” Ginny said. Ellie looked up at her. “But… it seems like she’s finally ready to start talking to you about Sirius. Isn’t that what you’ve wanted?” Ellie looked at the ground. This was true. She had wanted her mother to tell her more about this man who was supposedly her father. “Just… go home. Talk to her. Maybe you’ll finally start to find some sort of connection with him through this…” Ellie nodded. Ginny did have a point. She had run off just as it seemed her mother was willing to open up.

Ellie stood and took a deep breath. She then looked over at Ginny.

“I guess you’re right,” she said, offering a half-smile. 

“I am right a good amount of the time,” Ginny said, standing. Ellie then walked to the door and opened it. She turned, seeing Harry just disappearing up the stairs. She wanted to go after him. Talk to him. But she knew she needed to fix things with her mother first. So, she sighed and walked down the stairs to the floo. She gave Mrs. Weasley a hug and Ginny a smile before grabbing a handful of powder and shooting off to home.

~~~

Aurora was in the greenhouse when Ellie got there. She was busy working with the new plants that had arrived that morning, getting them settled in a new plant bed. She looked up at Ellie as she stood in the entryway to the greenhouse, pausing in her work.

“Need some help?” Ellie asked. Aurora smiled and nodded. Ellie walked over and pulled on a pair of gloves, then silently got to work.

They were both quiet as they worked, the only sound that of the wireless in the corner playing soft music. After some time, Aurora began humming with it. Ellie looked up at her mother, noticing that she appeared happier than she had all summer. There was a sort of glow about her. Sighing, Ellie turned her attention back to the plant in front of her. 

“I’m sorry, Ellie,” Aurora finally said. Ellie looked over at her. “I… I shouldn’t have… I should have been more open with you. Perhaps if you knew more about him, then you wouldn’t have run off like that…”

“Mum, I understand,” Ellie said, cutting her off. “I know it’s hard to talk about him… but… it’s hard to really mourn for someone you know nothing about.” Aurora smiled softly as she reached out and caressed her daughter’s cheek. 

“You deserve to know about him. He was your father,” she said softly. Her other hand came to rest on her stomach. “I’m not the only one who was robbed of him.” Ellie swallowed.

“We have plenty of time,” she said. “For you to tell me about him. And my little brother or sister.” Aurora smiled again and nodded, sniffling slightly.

“And there are plenty of stories to tell,” she said with a laugh as she turned back to the plants. “Your father was quite the character.”

“So it seems. Professor Lupin has told me some things,” Ellie said, returning to her work as well.

“Suppose he told you about his penchant for pranks and teasing?” Aurora asked. Ellie nodded. 

“He told me about how he put a toad in your bag and that it got you detention,” she said. Aurora chuckled softly. 

“He got me detention quite a lot over the years,” she said, her voice taking on a far-off quality. “At first for pranks… and then for other things.” Ellie grimaced slightly. She didn’t like to think about her parents getting in trouble for running off to snog in broom closets. Aurora laughed at her expression. “We were young once, Ellie.”

“Yea, but doesn’t mean you have to tell me about it,” she replied. Aurora laughed a bit louder as she put down her pruning shears and pulled Ellie into a hug.

“Of course. There are many other stories that I can tell you,” she said, kissing the top of her head. “He… was larger than life in so many ways…” 

“Professor Lupin said he was really popular. You as well,” Ellie said, looking up at her.

“Suppose we were,” Aurora said with a sigh as she returned to her work. “Seems like a lifetime ago…”

“Was this what you were like back then?” Ellie asked. Aurora glanced at her, not sure what she meant. “Brighter?” Aurora smiled and nodded.

“Suppose I was… before everything,” she said. 

“You know we don’t have to worry about him anymore. My-... Evan,” Ellie said, finding his name felt weird coming from her mouth. Aurora frowned slightly and nodded.

“I’m not so worried about that anymore,” she said. “He’s in Azkaban. And won’t get out. And he has no claim over us. Not anymore.”

“But… aren’t I still considered his daughter?” Ellie asked.

“Another gift from Grandmama. She had another birth certificate made. One that supersedes the one that names Evan your father… it says that Sirius is your father,” Aurora said. “Before he was arrested, it would make sure that Evan Selwyn could not file for custody over you.” Ellie’s eyes widened.

“So… more people know? About Sirius being my dad?” she asked. Aurora stopped her work and turned towards Ellie.

“Just the Ministry, but… it’s all confidential. You won’t see it in the papers,” she said. “Ellie… do you not want people to know?” Ellie took a deep breath and looked to the ground.

“It’s not that I’m embarrassed or anything… I figure he’s better than Evan Selwyn, but… I just… I think I need time to… process. Before I tell anyone else,” she said honestly. Aurora nodded.

“I understand. You don’t have to tell anyone yet if you don’t want to,” she said with a sad smile. 

“Thanks, Mum,” Ellie said. She glanced down to her mother’s stomach. “So… do you think it’s going to be a boy or a girl?” Aurora chuckled.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” she said. “I wouldn’t mind either. Another little girl would be nice.”

“Better hope they take after you,” Ellie replied. “If the stories are anything to go by…” Aurora laughed loudly.

“I think you’ll find you’re more like Sirius than you think,” she said. “You’re perceptive like him. And sometimes your expressions… I feel like I’m looking at him.” Ellie just stared at her mother a moment. “Like right now…” 

Ellie could see the tears starting up in her mother’s eyes again, though she had a smile on her face as she looked at her. She then stepped over and wrapped her arms around her.

“It’s okay, you know. If you want to cry about him in front of me,” she said. “You don’t have to hide that.” Aurora stared at her daughter a moment before returning the hug, letting the tears fall down her cheeks.

“I know,” she whispered. She then looked around the greenhouse a bit and back at Ellie, who was looking up at her.

“We’ll be okay, Mum. All of us,” she said earnestly. Aurora offered a brave smile.

“I know, dear. I know…”


	6. Back to School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The return to school has brought with it the expected backlash over the man Ellie believed to be her father and his arrest at the attack on the ministry. However, a gift from her mother has Ellie reeling slightly, though eager to continue her journey to discovering just who Sirius Black was.

Ellie sighed as she dragged her trunk behind her down the crowded aisle of the Hogwarts Express. How she longed for the day she could levitate it behind her, but as a fourth year, she was still restricted from using magic outside of school. If only she were friends with a seventh year who’d do it for her. 

She glanced out the window, seeing her mother standing there, a smile on her face and tears in her eyes as she caught sight of her and waved. Ellie waved and smiled back, then continued on her way.

After the conversation in the greenhouse, things had gotten better. Her mother slowly began to open up more about Sirius, though it still didn’t feel like enough for Ellie to really understand him. She still felt no connection to him. Part of her felt horrible about this. She knew her mother was still struggling with his death and she desperately wanted to feel something towards him because she knew how much it meant to her mother, but yet, nothing. Of course, she kept this to herself and Ginny. The last thing Ellie wanted was to upset her mother any further. Especially now that she was expecting.

The rest of the summer had been spent working on the greenhouse and gardens while discussing plans for the new baby, which was due in March, when she wasn’t on the pitch practicing with Ginny, who had become a frequent guest. Ellie still couldn’t quite believe that she was going to have a younger brother or sister. It felt sort of odd at her age. But it was what it was. This baby was coming regardless of how she felt about it. Though she had to admit that she was starting to get a bit excited. She had often wished that she had a younger sibling in the past.

“Well, well, surprised you’re showing your face around here, Selwyn.”

Ellie stopped and looked up, seeing one of her other roommates - Lila Walker - standing in front of her, baring her way. Ellie frowned slightly. She was one of the few Gryffindors who didn’t seem keen on her being in the house. All because she was a Selwyn and they had always been in Slytherin. It was as if she and her twin sister Laura completely disregarded the fact that her mother had been in Gryffindor. A fact that Ellie had reminded them of often.

“It’s fourth year. Aren’t you getting tired of this?” Ellie asked with a sigh.

“Please, your father is a death eater. How much you want to bet that you follow in Daddy’s footsteps?” Lila asked in her usual haughty tone. Ellie reached into her robe pocket and gripped her wand. 

“I’m not a death eater,” she said, gritting her teeth slightly. She almost added that he wasn’t her father but stopped herself. The last people she wanted to know about this whole mess was Lila and Laura.

“Yet,” Lila replied, narrowing her eyes at her. Ellie took a deep breath and started to lunge for her, pulling her wand out. Lila’s eyes widened slightly as she hopped back.

“What’s going on?” 

Ellie stopped and looked over, seeing Hermione Granger walking up to the two quickly. “I hope that you two were just on your way to your compartments. I would hate to hand out detention before we even arrive.”

“She threatened me! Just like her father!” Lila shouted, pointing at Ellie.

“I highly doubt that. Ellie is no more a death eater than you are,” Hermione said with a huff as she scowled at Lila. The fourth year looked back and forth between the two before spinning on her heels and striding off, her nose in the air. Hermione turned to Ellie, a sympathetic look coming over her face.

“Don’t let them get to you. They’re just… well… not very bright, are they?” Hermione said, patting Ellie on the shoulder.

“Suppose not,” Ellie said, glancing after Lila. “Just hope there aren’t more who think like she does. Just because _he’s_ in Azkaban...”

“Why… why haven’t you told anyone the truth? It might make it easier,” Hermione asked. Ellie’s eyes widened as she looked over at her. She shouldn’t have been surprised - she was best friends with Harry, after all. She should have expected that he had told her everything, especially as Ron and the rest of the Weasleys already knew.

“I’m… I’m not completely sure I want everyone to know just yet,” Ellie said honestly. Hermione nodded and offered another smile.

“Sure it’s a bit overwhelming,” she replied.

“You can say that again,” Ellie muttered.

“Well, I’ll let you get on your way. Think Ginny and the others are in a compartment just up on the right,” Hermione said. Ellie nodded and continued on, quickly finding the compartment and opening the door.

“Let me help you with that,” someone said, quickly standing and moving to grab her heavy trunk from her. Ellie stepped back and felt her cheeks heat up as she watched Seamus Finnegan pick her trunk up and put in on the rack above the seat easily. He then stepped back and let her in. She found a seat next to Ginny and looked around, seeing other Gryffindor members of the DA - Dean Thomas and Neville Longbottom. She wondered where Moira and Meredith were, but figured they’d pop in eventually. They were still on somewhat friendly terms with Lila and Laura, even though Ellie would likely describe her relationship with the Walkers best as complicated. Typically, she avoided them whenever she could.

“How was your summer, Selwyn?” Seamus asked as he sat across from her. 

“Good,” she said. “We moved into my grandparents’ old manor and spent the summer fixing it up.”

“She’s got a practice pitch set up,” Ginny said with a grin. “It’s brilliant.”

“That so?” Seamus asked, looking back to Ellie. She nodded, hoping that she wasn’t blushing. Of course, she had a crush on him, despite whatever she had told the others. It all started last year when he helped her in DA with a few of the more complicated spells. Harry had been too busy helping others, though Ellie suspected that at least during second term he had been avoiding her. 

“Yea… figured it wouldn’t hurt to have a proper place to practice while I’m at home,” she said.

“So you’re going to try out again this year, then?” Dean asked. Ellie nodded, glancing over at him.

“You planning on trying out as well?” she asked.

“Course we are,” Dean said with a grin. Ellie tried to smile back, though she felt a bit of nerves kick in. They were much bigger than her and older – surely, they had a better chance of making the team than she did. Helped that they were friends with Harry, who was captain that year. Ginny reached over and patted her arm comfortingly, likely sensing her trepidation about try-outs.

“How about you? Good summer?” she then asked, looking between Seamus and Dean.

“About the same,” Seamus said with a shrug. “Good, but nothing exciting.” 

“Yea,” Ellie said, shifting in her seat. She could see Ginny watching her out of the corner of her eye with a sly smile and seriously wanted to hit her. Though thankfully Ginny understood the concept of discretion a bit better than Moira and Meredith.

“How’s your mum,” Neville asked. Ellie looked over at him slightly confused as to why he’d care, but then remembered that he too had been at the Ministry that night. The others likely suspected he was only asking because her father had been arrested. It was the elephant in the room, after all. The man they all believe to be her father was currently in Azkaban.

None of them knew about her relationship with Sirius, nor that he was her actual father. That was something she clearly did not want to get into at the moment.

“She’s, ehm, doing better,” Ellie said. “Getting out to the manor helped. She went mad redecorating and all.” She then looked down at her hands.

“Hey, we all know the truth,” Seamus said. Ellie looked up at him, her eyebrows raised. “You’re nothin’ like him. Anyone would be mad to think that you or your mother could possibly sympathize with death eaters. You’re Gryffindors.” Ellie smiled appreciatively.

“She’s divorced him,” she said. “So… we won’t have to ever see him again.”

“Blimey, that must have been difficult,” Neville said. As he, Ellie and Ginny were the only purebloods in the compartment, they knew just how rare it was for a divorce to happen in such families. Sure enough, Seamus and Dean seemed a bit confused. Ellie shrugged.

“Helped that he got arrested,” she said. “But we found my grandmother’s will and that helped. She apparently left everything to us and he lied about it…”

“It’s a bloody soap, is what it is,” Seamus exclaimed. 

“Yea, suppose,” Ellie said, back to staring at her hands. Ginny took a deep breath and opened her mouth, seemingly about to change the subject when the compartment door slid open and Ron and Harry appeared. Ellie looked up, meeting Harry’s eyes, though he quickly looked away, an odd sort of pained look coming over his face.

“There you are,” Ron said with a grin. “Wondered where you got off to. Good summer?”

“Yea, you?” Dean asked.

“Fairly good,” he said. He looked over and saw Ellie, nodding towards her. “Doing alright, Selwyn?”

“Yea,” she said, trying not to look too disappointed that Harry seemed intent on once again ignoring her this year. She had hoped he would tell her more about Sirius as he had been close to him. 

“We should get going,” Harry said to him. Ron nodded and waved at the group before they left.

“Harry seem off to you?” Seamus asked, looking at Ginny.

“He, well, he took Sirius’ death hard,” she said softly, glancing at Ellie. “And well… everything.”

“Yea… can’t believe he fought with You Know Who,” Dean said, his eyes widening slightly. They all fell silent at that. There had been a flurry of articles over the summer about the return of He Who Must Not Be Named. While for a time, Ellie had been able to push it aside, happily removed from most of it out in the countryside, it was a dark cloud constantly hanging about. After a while, she and her mother didn’t even mention Evan Selwyn or his family or that night in the Ministry. But she knew that it was always on her mother’s mind.

Once again, Ellie was staring at her hands, fidgeting as the others continued on talking about the latest news. Only Neville and Ginny seemed to notice how uncomfortable it made her, though only Ginny knew the full truth of it. 

“So… what positions are you planning to try for at trials?” Ginny asked loudly, interrupting Dean and Seamus. The two teens were distracted by the mention of quidditch and eagerly launched into a long, detailed explanation of the sport. Ellie looked over at Ginny and smiled.

“Thanks,” she whispered. Ginny just smiled and shrugged before turning back to the conversation.

~~~

Later that night after the feast, Ellie was in her dorm with the others, all of them unpacking. She was taking her time with it, trying her hardest not to roll her eyes every time Lila or Laura spoke, the two of them droning on about their summer holiday to Paris. Every so often, she’d glance over her shoulder and share an annoyed look with Moira or Meredith who both seemed equally as bored to tears.

She lifted out the last of her school books and stopped, seeing an unfamiliar package at the bottom of her trunk. Odd. She didn’t remember packing that.

“Well, we’re going downstairs,” Lila said loudly as she and Laura walked out. 

“You coming?” Moira asked, she and Meredith looking to Ellie expectantly.

“I’ll be there in a moment. Just want to finish up,” she said, looking at them.

“See you there,” Meredith said as she and Moira walked out. 

Once the door shut behind them, Ellie put the books aside and pulled out the large package, settling on her bed as she unwrapped it. It was a collection of small books along with a larger one as well as the letter and present from Sirius. She still hadn’t opened them. On top of it all was a small card with her name on it. She picked it up and opened it, recognizing her mother’s handwriting.

_My dearest Ellie,  
_ _I know that there is so much more you want to know about your father and I’m sorry that it had been so difficult for me to talk of him this summer. I found these journals among his things and thought that you should have them, so that you can better understand who he was. And I do hope that you read his letter. As I’ve said before many times, he did love you so very much._

_All my love,  
_ _Mum_

Ellie put the card down and reached for the large book, flipping through it. It was another photo album that she hadn’t seen before. There were some photos that her mother had shown, and others that she hadn’t, so she assumed that she had put it together for her before she left for school.

She then closed it and reached for one of the smaller books, opening it to the first page.

_The Journal of One, Sirius Orion Black_

Her eyes widened as she flipped through it, taking in the unfamiliar writing. It was a bit messy and from the dates, it appeared to be from when he was at Hogwarts. 

Ellie jumped slightly, hearing a loud noise from the stairway, followed by giggles. She looked back down at the journal and then closed it, quickly gathering them all up and putting them back in her trunk, hiding them underneath some of her winter clothing that she wouldn’t need for a few more months. While part of her wanted to start reading right away, she knew the others were waiting on her downstairs.

Perhaps tomorrow.


	7. Discovering Sirius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Ellie slowly learns more about her father, it seems some are not so keen to talk about him. Namely Harry. And she can't seem to understand why.

Ellie began packing up her bag as soon as McGonagall had dismissed them, her mind already on to her next class. While she was happy that Snape was no longer the potions professor - Slughorn seemed infinitely better though she had yet to have class with him - she still wasn’t sure what to expect. Granted, she wasn’t particularly looking forward to her first defense against the dark arts class either. While Snape had been mostly indifferent to her before despite his disdain for Gryffindors, she had sensed a shift. He had given her a rather cold stare during the welcome feast that she didn’t understand. It didn’t help that he still terrified her slightly on a good day. 

This was turning out to be a strange year, indeed.

“Ms. Selwyn, if you would stay a moment, please,” McGonagall said loudly, causing Ellie to pause in pulling her bag over her shoulder. “I’ll give you a note for Professor Slughorn.” 

“Save you a spot,” Moira whispered as she and Meredith left and Ellie made her way towards her head of house.

“This way,” McGonagall said, leading her towards her office just off the classroom. Ellie had been there a few times before, mostly last year when McGonagall explained all the rules that she was to follow. She hadn’t told her exactly why she was to follow them at the time, just that things at home had gotten a bit precarious. Now that Ellie knew the truth about Evan Selwyn, she wished the adults had just been upfront with her from the beginning. 

Not that it mattered now. He was locked up and she and her mother were free to live their lives as they wanted without having to look over their shoulders.

Ellie moved to sit in an armchair in front of the fireplace where she usually sat during these chats as McGonagall busied herself with getting tea ready. She then handed a teacup to Ellie and sat in the chair across from her. 

“How are you faring, my dear?” she asked, a look of concern in her wise eyes.

“I’m alright,” Ellie replied. McGonagall continued to watch her, clearly sensing there was more to her response. “I mean, well… some others have given me a bit of a hard time about the arrest, but… it’s nothing I can’t handle. And the rest of the DA have stood up for me.” Just that morning at breakfast, Lila and Laura had made another snide comment to her, causing a couple of boys from their year to snicker. Though Colin Creevy was quick to speak in her defense before she had even responded.

And when a few students from seventh year had given her suspicious looks in the hallway, Seamus and Dean had told them to bugger off. So at least there was that. To be honest, Ellie didn’t give it too much thought. Soon enough they would all be focused on some other rumor or Hogwarts drama and forget that her supposed father was a death eater.

“I suppose there will be some talk. Though you weren’t the only student who had a guardian mixed up in that,” McGonagall said, careful not to call Evan Selwyn her father. Ellie knew this, though the others were all in Slytherin and standing up for themselves well enough. Personally, she was glad that Lucius Malfoy had been locked up - she never liked him. He always seemed to have mean things to say to her mother at pureblood gatherings. Though at the time, once again, she hadn’t understood the context behind them.

Now that she knew about Sirius Black, it all suddenly made sense. He had suspected all along that she wasn’t Evan Selwyn’s daughter.

“Though, I must ask, why haven’t you mentioned anything about Sirius?” McGonagall asked. Ellie was starting to get tired of the question. Why did it matter to anyone if or when she told people that he was really her father? “I had expected that you would return this year as Ellie Black.” What? Ellie swallowed her tea a bit too quickly, grimacing as it burned the back of her throat. Her mother hadn’t even broached that topic with her, though she had asked if she wanted to change her surname to Greenthistle. She had already done so, wanting to put as much separation between her and Evan’s family as possible. Ellie had told her she wanted to think about it, already reaching her capacity to accept changes.

“I, well… I hadn’t thought about that, actually,” Ellie said. “Suppose with so much that’s changed, I just… need a bit of time to understand it all.” She met McGonagall’s gaze. “I still feel like I don’t even really know him.” McGonagall sighed and nodded, a sad smile appearing.

“I suppose I understand that,” she said. “Rather sad how it all turned out… I had your father as a student, you know.” Ellie nodded, sitting up in her chair. “Some days I thought he and James Potter would be the death of me.” She chuckled.

“I heard he got in trouble a lot,” Ellie said. “I don’t seem very much like him at all in that regard…” 

“No, I suspect you took after your mother in that way,” McGonagall said. “But I do see a bit of him in you. Besides your eyes, that is. You’re very outgoing like he was. And very loyal to your friends and house. And he was very bright, despite his penchant for trouble. Just like you.” 

“Mum was - is - too,” Ellie said. 

“Yes, yes. It’s no surprise that the child of Aurora and Sirius would be near the top of her year,” McGonagall said with a smile. “Nor that she would be incredibly brave.” 

Ellie looked down at her teacup. She didn’t feel incredibly brave. She hadn’t done much that would require a large amount of bravery as it was. Not like her parents. She still struggled to imagine her mother fighting at the Ministry. But she had run away from the Selwyns. And she had done her best to survive all those years at Selwyn Manor. There was a reason that Ellie had always viewed her as her hero - putting up with so much for her.

“I don’t feel very brave sometimes,” Ellie admitted, looking up at the professor.

“Oh, but you are. I think you’ve handled everything that’s happened quite bravely,” McGonagall said. 

“Well, it’s kind of hard to be sad about someone you didn’t know,” Ellie replied, looking at her tea again. 

“If you ever need to talk - about Sirius or anything else - my door is always open, Ellie,” McGonagall said. Ellie looked up at her and smiled slightly. 

“Thanks, professor,” she said. 

“Now, dare say you should probably get to class,” McGonagall said, putting her teacup down and then standing, making her way to her desk. “I’ll just write a note excusing your tardiness to potions.” 

Ellie put her half-drunk tea down and stood, pulling her bag up onto her shoulder. She then took the note from McGonagall and stepped out of her office. 

She felt like this was going to be a strange year, indeed.

~~~

Ellie was grateful that her roommates were downstairs doing homework when she walked into her dorm after supper. She supposed she should start on hers as well, but she wanted to take advantage of the momentary privacy to read Sirius’ journals, her talk with McGonagall sparking her interest in learning more about him. 

She dropped her bag on the floor and dug one out, then settled on her bed, opening it up to the first page, deciding it was best to start at the beginning, though she wasn’t sure exactly when this one was from.

_September 1, 1975_

_Finally, back at Hogwarts. I don’t understand why they won’t let students stay over the summer, even though McGonagall tells me why every year. It just doesn’t make sense. I would rather spend all year at school rather than have to go back to Grimmauld Place. I think next summer just might be the one when I finally run away. Thankfully James has said that I can live with him and his parents. I would prefer that to staying at Hogwarts, though honestly, anywhere is better than Grimmauld Place._

_Though one good thing to be back for the school term is seeing Greenthistle again. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone with a smile quite like hers. Anytime I see it, it’s like… everything stops for a minute. I saw her on the train today and she was laughing at something Evans said, and I ran into the door to the compartment where I was sitting with James, Remus and Peter. Of course, she didn’t talk to me, just gave me an odd look before she and Evans continued on._

_She won’t give me the time of day, though I think it’s because James annoys the hell out of Evans and she can’t stand him, therefore myself by extension. Or maybe it’s because James and I snuck dungbombs into their bags last year. I felt bad about that one - I hadn’t realized just how long the smell would linger. I overheard McKinnon saying they had taken several baths and the smell still wouldn’t go away._

_The only person in our group that they’ll speak to at length is Remus. I must get his secret from him._

_This is the year. I’m going to finally ask her out, I think. Or at least get her to not hate me. Then maybe I could ask her out next year. Either way, I hope that I can at least have a normal conversation with her that doesn’t involve her yelling at me, though I have to admit that I even enjoy that. I just enjoy any kind of attention, really…_

Ellie looked up from the book, hearing footsteps coming up the stairs. She quickly shut the journal and hid it under her pillow as she then sat up and reached for her bag on the ground and pulled it onto her bed, dragging out various books.

“Oh, it’s you,” Lila said as she and Laura walked it. Ellie stopped what she was doing and watched the twins step over to their beds. Deciding she’d rather not be stuck with them alone, she quickly tossed her books back into her bag. There was a good chance if she stayed, she’d end up jinxing one or both. Without a word, she slid her bag on her shoulder and walked out of the dorm.

~~~

Ellie looked around the common room and found Moira sitting with Meredith and Ginny, all of them working on their homework. She quickly walked over and sat in the open chair next to Ginny, once again unpacking some of her books. 

“How was class?” Ginny asked.

“Usual,” Ellie said with a sigh. “Though I think I’m going to enjoy Slughorn a bit more than Snape. He seemed impressed with my work today, though I told him that Mum teaches me stuff about potions over breaks.” 

“He mention anything about the Slug Club?” Ginny asked.

“The what?” Moira asked. 

“Yea, he asked if I might be interested in joining at the end of class,” Ellie said, turning her attention to her transfiguration book. She glanced up and saw Moira and Meredith’s confused looks. “Some sort of club for students that make top marks in potions.”

“Ah,” Moira said. “Makes sense then that he’d ask you to join.” Ellie just shrugged and opened her book, looking for the section that she needed to read. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Harry walk into the common room, for once alone. She figured if she was ever going to get a chance to speak with him, now was it.

She quickly stood and walked over to him without a word to her friends, barely reaching him before he disappeared up the stairs to the boys’ dorms.

“Harry!” she called out. He stopped, but didn’t turn around, allowing Ellie a chance to reach him. “I was hoping I could-”

“I don’t have time, Selwyn,” he said, turning to look at her. 

“Oh, then could we-”

“No,” he said firmly, turning and running up the stairs before she could say anything else. Ellie stood there a few moments, staring at the stairs. Why didn’t he want to talk to her? Was it because of Sirius? Was he angry at her? It’s not like it was her fault that Sirius was her father. She didn’t even know until a few months ago. It seemed incredibly unfair to her and she was halfway tempted to follow him up to his dorm and let him have it.

“He’s still not over it,” Ginny said softly. Ellie turned to look at her, not realizing she had walked up. “Sirius’ death.” Ellie frowned.

“Mum’s not either, but she still talks to me about him. Well, she does now,” Ellie replied. 

“Yea, well… suppose it’s a bit different for Harry,” Ginny said with a sigh. “He, ah, he was a bit blindsided about the news when they told him last Christmas.” Ellie glanced towards the stairs and then back at Ginny. She remembered seeing him hug her mother at the end of term at the beginning of the summer. He seemed to have accepted it then. Why was he being a git about it now?

“At least he’s had more time to process it than I have,” she grumbled slightly. “Besides, I’m the one who just found out that he’s her father…” 

“I think he just doesn’t like talking about Sirius period right now,” Ginny said. “And… dunno… he’s got some things going on. Things he doesn’t really talk about it…” Ellie was about to make a snide retort but stopped herself. She supposed there was a lot more going on with Harry Potter than she knew or understood. He was The Boy Who Lived. The Chosen One. She reckoned that had a lot more worries than her at the moment. 

All she had was discovering the man who raised her was a death eater and not her real father. And that Sirius Black, a man previously thought to be a death eater and murderer but since exonerated who was now dead, was her father. And his love affair with her mother dated back to when they were at Hogwarts. And they had been twice engaged. And her mother was now expecting his second child. Yes, that wasn’t anything large at all.

“Come on. Let’s get back to our homework,” Ginny said, leading Ellie back to the table. She nodded, though she couldn’t help but glance over her shoulder back towards the stairs. She wondered if Harry would ever open up to her. But that was probably another worry for another day. At least it wasn’t for that day. 


	8. To Make the Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quidditch trials don't go as planned, though Ellie finally finds something to connect to Sirius over. However, getting closer to him brings with it it's own pain. Perhaps she doesn't want to connect with him.

Ellie couldn’t help as her nerves jumped around inside her as she stood in the gaggle of students eagerly going through brooms and gear in the middle of the quidditch pitch. She was the only one who stood stoically, watching as Harry tried several times unsuccessfully to get everyone’s attention.

Finally, Ginny whistled and everyone shut it, turning to look at him as she walked over and stood next to Ellie. Ellie gripped her Nimbus 2001 tightly as he shouted out instructions, wishing she had thought to ask her mother for a Firebolt over the summer. With how easily she had agreed to the practice pitch and pool, surely, she would have given in to that request. But now it was too late and she would have to make do with the broom she had. Granted it wasn’t as though it were a horrible broom - it was still loads better than what most of the others had, save Harry and his Firebolt. She still wondered how he got it.

“We’re going to start with some laps around the pitch. The most important thing you need for quidditch is stamina,” Harry shouted, looking around the rather large group gathered there. Ellie did as well and was certain that not everyone there was even in Gryffindor. She glanced at Ginny who just rolled her eyes. “Give me three laps!” He blew a whistle. 

Ellie took off at a light jog with the group, knowing that it was a rather large pitch and she would need to preserve her strength, though a group of students eager to prove themselves jetted off at a sprint.

“Idiots,” Ginny muttered, keeping pace at Ellie’s side. 

“Don’t know the first thing about quidditch,” Katie Bell added from just behind them. 

Sure enough, by the time they had finished the first lap, the group that had started at a sprint was now lagging behind, huffing and puffing as they struggled to keep running. Ellie, Ginny and Katie were now leading the rest, who had followed their lead and were jogging at a normal pace. By the time they finished, Ellie found herself barely winded and properly loosened up before they took to the air. 

They gathered around Harry again, who was studying them all with a discerning eye, though he slid right passed Ellie. 

“Alright, now we’re going to do some drills,” he shouted. He then made a face. “Ehm… you all have brooms, don’t you?” Ellie and Ginny glanced around the group seeing that a fair amount did not, in fact, have brooms with them. “You need a broom, you know.” Heads hanging dejectedly, a number began trudging towards the stands to watch. “Right then… let’s get into three groups…”

Ellie’s nerves once again began jumping anew as he separated them up, Ellie in the last group while Ginny was in the second. 

“Good luck,” Seamus said as he jogged past Ellie and Ginny to get in line. The only thing Ellie could manage was a nod and tight-lipped smile.

“You’ll be fine,” Ginny said as they walked over. “Just do everything like we did in practice and you’ll make it with me for sure.” 

Harry quickly called for the first group to take to the air. Ellie watched, her nerves still jumping around. Katie, Seamus, and Dean were among the first group and they were all doing rather well. Katie was sure to get her chaser spot again. It looked as though Dean and Seamus wouldn’t be far behind.

Soon enough, they were finished, though not without a mid-air collision that took out half the group. The next then flew up with Ginny easily out flying them all. 

Blimey, perhaps Ellie had made a mistake by trying out yet again.

Before she could back out or change her mind, the group had finished up and it was now her turn. Ellie mounted her broom and shot up into the air, taking her position. They were to run through a speed drill first, and then bludgers would be released. Her mother had charmed some bludgers to follow her around the pitch at home, but she was sure this would be different. 

Before she could really think about it too much, Harry blew his whistle and she sped off, easily reaching the other side of the pitch and then coming back around. She was so focused that she didn’t notice how far ahead she had been from the others. A smile filled her face as Ginny gave her a thumbs up and she finally began to relax. She was ready for the whistle the next time and easily flew through the bludgers, though they managed to knock out a few others. 

When the drills were all said and done, Harry then divided them into positions and ordered them back up into the air to see how everyone fared. Ellie was happy to be on Ginny’s team with Katie, knowing that she would not have wanted to be against them. Though she was still cautious as Dean and Seamus were on the opposing side along with a witch named Demelza Robins. She took to the air, waiting on the balls to be releasing, gripping the handle of her broom as she watched the field below.

The balls were released and Ellie took off, just nearly beating Seamus to the quaffle and taking off down the field. She heard the whistle of a bludger coming from her left and leaned right, easily pulling off a barrel roll to miss getting hit, before tossing the quaffle over to Ginny who was flying nearby. She got it and sped off, though Katie and Ellie kept close. Dean was coming up on her right and Ellie saw an opening to sidecheck him, successfully getting him off Ginny’s trail as she launched it towards the hoop, easily getting past McClaggen. Ellie cheered and turned around, heading back towards the other end of the pitch while keeping an eye open for any other openings. 

The scrimmage lasted nearly an hour with Ellie, Ginny and Katie easily scoring the most points - though Ellie couldn’t help but notice McClaggen acting a bit strange a couple times while Ron managed to keep most of the quaffles out of the hoops. 

When they landed and gathered around Harry, Ellie couldn’t help but grin. She felt that there was no way she couldn’t have made the team with that performance. Even Ginny threw an arm around her shoulder and congratulated her, whispering that she was sure it would be her, Ellie and Katie on the team. 

They all quieted, waiting for Harry to finish going over his notes on a clipboard. He then looked up and around the group.

“Alright, so for keeper, we have Ron Weasley,” he said. Ellie looked over and saw a happy, yet dazed look come over his face. “Then beaters… we’ve got Coote and Peakes.” He looked back down at the clipboard. “And chasers… Ginny, Katie and Demelza. That’s it. First practice is next week. I’ll post the schedule in the common room.” He then walked off, seemingly busy gathering up the equipment. 

Ellie stood frozen, a sinking feeling in her stomach as she stared after him. While she didn’t think she was the best one on the pitch, she had scored a good six more goals than Demelza and managed to avoid any bludger hits while she had taken three. She just blinked as her mouth dropped open and she attempted to keep her temper in check.

“That’s rubbish, if you ask me,” Ginny said softly, not wanting to offend Demelza, who was being congratulated by Coote and Peakes.

“Yea… Ellie scored way more,” Katie said, stepping over to them. “What do you think that’s about?” Ellie just continued to watch Harry as everyone else started heading back up to the castle. Ellie glanced at Ginny, the both of them clearly thinking the same thing. 

“Dunno,” Ellie said, turning to Katie, who had no idea about the whole Sirius situation. Katie just patted Ellie on the back and offered her a comforting smile. 

“At least you’re only a fourth year. Still time to make it next year,” she said before turning and jogging off. Ellie turned and starting slowly making her way back to the castle, Ginny at her side. The redhead shot a scowl at Harry as they passed him, then whipped her head around and stuck her nose in the air when he saw it.

“I get that he’s upset about Sirius, but he shouldn’t take it out on you,” Ginny huffed.

“It’s alright, I suppose,” Ellie said with a sigh, though she couldn’t help but feel upset. “Katie’s right - there is always next year. And the year after. I’ve got three more left after this year…”

“But he should have chosen you. You were loads better than Demelza and everyone knows it,” Ginny said, stomping her foot. Ellie glanced around, catching Dean and Seamus sending her sympathetic looks from up ahead. 

“Maybe… maybe I remind him too much of… him,” Ellie said softly, glancing at her.

“But still. He needs to get over himself,” Ginny said indignantly. “You’re you. Not Sirius Black.” Ellie just shrugged again, turning her attention to the castle. 

“Not much to be done about it now,” she said glumly.

“Oh yes there is. I intend to let him know that it was git move,” Ginny said.

“You don’t need to-”

“Oh, yes I do. I can understand him avoiding you in the common room and such, but this is taking it too far,” Ginny said, interrupting her. “Seriously…” Ellie just chuckled and shook her head.

At the very least she had her friends to cheer her up.

~~~

Later than night, Ellie excused herself from the others early, going up to her dorm to be alone and read more of the journals. Lila and Laura were busy flirting with some of the fourth year boys while Moira and Meredith were hanging out with the rest of the Gryffindor DA. She was sure most of them assumed that she was still upset about not making the team, and to an extent, she was. But more than that, she wondered if there was something about her that reminded Harry so much of Sirius that he didn’t want to be around her.

She crawled into her bed and pulled out the journal from under her pillow, turning to the next entry. Most of his writing had been about class and various pranks he and the others had pulled off. Her mother featured in nearly every entry as well. While it did provide her more insight to who Sirius was in fifth year, she still didn’t feel any sort of connection to him.

_November 8, 1975_

_Today was the first Gryffindor quidditch match and we trounced Slytherin. I think it was our best match yet. I did a new personal best and only let three quaffles through, while we scored ten goals. And then James caught the snitch in spectacular fashion._

_Of course, I pulled out a few new moves. And they seemed to have worked as Greenthistle told me good match afterwards in the common room. She actually said something nice to me. And smiled. I couldn’t speak for a bit until James nearly punched me in the back. Of course, then the first words out of my mouth were complete gibberish, but still. It was progress. I don’t think she completely hates me, at least._

_Granted, she then had Evans give me and James detention when she caught us with some firewhiskey that one of the seventh years gave us. But still. Progress._

_There’s nothing quite like playing quidditch, though. The feel of the air through my hair. The rush that I get when I kick off the ground and soar up into the air. It’s the best sport in the world. Some days I think I could maybe try for the Quidditch League. Still not sure, but it’s an option. I wouldn’t mind playing professionally. I wouldn’t mind taking Greenthistle for a ride around the pitch. I wonder if she likes flying. She seems to know her stuff when it comes to quidditch. Once she told me that I leaned slightly in the direction I intended to fly in and gave away my move to the opposing chasers. Even our captain didn’t catch that in practice…_

Ellie stopped reading for a moment as she sat up in her bed, her eyes wide as she read through the rest of the passage. He had played quidditch. Loved it. Like she did. Ellie had always assumed that it came from her mother, but perhaps that had been something Sirius passed on to her. She skimmed through some of the next passages, stopping when she came to another that mentioned quidditch practice, eagerly reading through it. 

She then leaned back against her pillows, staring up at the top of her four-poster bed. She could almost imagine him - how he was just before he died - being out on the pitch with her, giving her pointers. Helping her with drills. For some reason, she felt like it would be something that he’d do. He would probably go out and buy a Firebolt for her without even asking. 

A soft smile came over her face as she continued to think about it. It was a lovely thought. But then, there was a soft pain in her chest. A small, tenuous stirring of something in her. Frowning, she held the journal close to her heart.

She would never get to have that moment with him. He was gone. Even if he had loved quidditch as much as she did, had played at Hogwarts, it didn’t matter. He was dead. She’d never get to talk strategies or ask for help. Sirius Black wasn’t there to give it.

Sighing, Ellie put the book away and laid down in her bed, pulling the covers up over her. She didn’t want to think about it. Because then she might become just as sad as her mother had been. Perhaps it would be easier to keep Sirius Black’s memory at a distance. 

Then she wouldn’t have to feel sad about losing him.


	9. Another Side to Sirius Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old grudge causes Ellie to wonder if Sirius really was as great as everyone has made him out to be. In the meantime, her crush Seamus Finnegan seems to be paying her most attention this year, which she doesn't quite understand as well.

Ellie looked down at her book, skimming over the chapter she had already read on hex deflection. Granted, it wasn’t anything particularly new to her after last year. They had spent a fair amount of time going over it in DA despite it being taught in fourth year. 

She then looked up to the front of the class as Snape continued to lecture, waiting for the moment he decided to ask a question. She could feel the iciness of his glare as his eyes settled on her a moment and then moved on, though she still wasn’t sure just why he had suddenly decided this year that he would loathe her. If she raised her hand to answer, he’d ignore her. But then he would randomly call on her when she didn’t. Thanks to DA and the fact that she always read ahead, she managed to answer correctly each time, much to his obvious chagrin. 

“And what is the most common spell used to deflect hexes, Ms. Selwyn?” he asked suddenly.

“Salvio hexia,” she replied easily. He stopped his slow pace in front of the room and glared at her. “Though you could always use protego.”

“Ten points from Gryffindor,” he said before returning to his lecture. Ellie sat up, her mouth dropping open. She had answered correctly, even provided another spell. Just why was he taking points away? She then raised her hand. Snape’s dark eyes flinted over to her, though he ignored her hand. She kept it in the air, determined that she wasn’t going to lose a battle of the wills with him. Not this time.

“What is it, Ms. Selwyn?” he asked tiredly, finally giving in.

“Professor, would you kindly explain to me why you took points away for a correct answer?” she asked, hearing various gasps from around the room. She knew she was pushing it, but this really was unfair in her mind. He glared at her. 

“Stay after class, Ms. Selwyn, and I will be more than happy to explain,” he droned. She frowned again, starting to open her mouth to say more, but Moira elbowed her. She glared at her friend but then turned back to her book. She supposed she had a point. Push it further and she’d like lose them more points or worse, end up in detention with Snape. While detention with Umbridge had been physically painful, she didn’t want to find out just how tortuous it could be with the sullen professor.

The rest of the class continued on, with more than a few Slytherins sending looks her way and whispering - something that Snape conveniently didn’t see, though Ellie was sure that he was choosing ignore it. Once class had finished, she packed up her things and marched up to the front of the class as everyone else filed out. 

“I gave the correct answer,” she said, glaring defiantly at him.

“You spoke out of turn,” Snape said, frowning down at her.

“Because I provided another alternative?” she asked. 

“I should have known the apple does not fall far from the tree,” he replied. Ellie was confused by this. Did he have something against her mother? If so, why was he suddenly showing such disdain now? She had had him in potions for three years before without incident. Perhaps he, too, believed in all the pureblood mush and thought less of her now that she was divorced. He was a Slytherin, after all.

“I fail to see how my mother has anything to do with this,” she said simply. Snape only narrowed his eyes at her.

“It is not your mother that I meant,” he said. “Rather your arrogant, braggart of a father.” Ellie’s eyes widened. As far as she knew, Evan Selwyn had been in the same house as Snape. She assumed they had at least been on friendly terms if not friends. Perhaps there was more there to the story. Either way, it still wasn’t fair that he take out his obvious dislike on her.

“Well, then I can assure you, I am nothing like Evan Selwyn,” she said. “My mother’s left him, and he can rot in Azkaban for all I care.” Snape just stared at her a moment, a curious look coming over his face.

“They haven’t told you,” he said, his voice softening for a moment. It was then that Ellie realized he had been speaking about Sirius. She wasn’t sure how or why he knew, but once again, she could feel the anger stirring up that someone else knew about her personal life.

“That Sirius Black is my real father?” she asked, her voice dropping slightly in case someone was listening in outside the classroom. The curious look quickly disappeared as his face hardened. 

“So, you have been informed,” he replied. 

“This is about him?” she asked, once again confused. “I didn’t even know him. I only found out at the beginning of the summer, after he… was killed.”

“Then count yourself lucky,” Snape said. “Though as I said… the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” 

“What does it matter who my father is? This is about you unfairly taking points away for a correct answer,” Ellie pushed, surprising herself. She would have never dared spoken out against a professor before, but she couldn’t help but think it incredibly unfair that she be punished for something she had absolutely nothing to do with.

“Heed my words, Ms. Selwyn, keep this up and I will not only deduct more points, but give you detention,” he said. Ellie’s mouth dropped open in shock.

“That’s absolutely ridiculous,” she said without thinking. “I’ve had nothing to do with him!” Snape slammed his book down on the desk, causing her to jump back.

“I am not sure what others have told you, but your father was not the hero that he has been made out to be. He was cruel, vicious, and arrogant. And if you truly wish to distinguish yourself from him, I suggest that you forget that you are even related.” 

Before Ellie could even register his words, he spun around and swooped out of the room, leaving her stunned in his wake. It took a few moments, but she finally turned and walked out of the classroom, unsure of what had just happened. She could feel the tears pricking at her eyes, but all the same, she wasn’t exactly sure just why she was crying. It wasn’t as though she felt any need to defend Sirius. But at the same time, what Snape had just said didn’t seem to really mesh with what she had heard from others or read in his journals so far. 

Everything had just gotten even more confusing.

~~~

For once, the common room was mostly empty when Ellie walked in. She quickly made her way towards her favorite chair in a corner that most people forgot was there. She dropped into it, her mind going over everything that had just transpired. She was angry and upset. And hurt. Whatever Sirius had been like, she still didn’t understand why Professor Snape would hold it against her.

She had never even met the man. And outside looking somewhat like him and a love of quidditch, she didn’t really see how they could possibly be alike.

She pulled her legs up into the chair, hugging them as she went over everything that others had told her. She knew he was a prankster. Perhaps he had done a few too many pranks on the professor when they were in Hogwarts? But still, she hadn’t ever really stepped out of line at school save last year when she had joined the DA. But she could justify that, and the other professors had as well. 

Just why did Snape seem to hate Sirius Black so much that he would take it out on her? And how had he known that he was her father in the first place?

“Selwyn! There you are… what’s this? Someone giving you trouble again?” 

Ellie looked up, seeing Seamus walking towards her, a concerned look on his face. She reached up and touched her cheek, feeling the wetness there. She hadn’t really realized that she was crying, though knew she often did so when she was angry.

“Oh… nothing… just… Snape was a bit hard on me in class is all,” she said, unfolding her legs from the chair. 

“Ah, well… don’t take it to heart. He hates all Gryffindors. You’ve no idea how many times he’s given me detention for minor things,” he said, smiling slightly. Ellie nodded. “Did he give you detention for something?”

“No, but he got close to it,” she said. 

“Wear it with a badge of pride,” he said. “You’ll finally be in the club.” Ellie couldn’t help but smile slightly. Even though he had no idea what this was really about, he was still trying to cheer her up and she appreciated it. 

“Not sure I’d want to deal with detention with Snape, to be honest,” she replied.

“It’s not so bad… not after the first time,” he said, sitting in a chair near her. He then brightened up a bit more, seeming to remember the reason he approached her in the first place. “The first Hogsmeade visit is coming up. You planning to go?”

“Suppose,” she said, though she hadn’t really thought about it. She usually went with Ginny and the others. 

“Good. Think we’re all planning to meet up. The others in DA. Well, a few of us, anyway,” he said. Ellie nodded and smiled.

“Then I guess I’ll be there,” she replied. He grinned and nodded, standing from the chair. He started to turn away but stopped and looked back at her.

“For what it’s worth, I thought Harry should have chosen you for the team,” he said. “Me and Dean both.” Ellie smiled in response.

“Thanks, Finnegan,” she said. He just shrugged.

“It’s a matter of who was better and you were better,” he said. “I’ve got to get to class. See you later.” He then turned and walked towards the portrait hole. Ellie sighed and leaned back in her chair. She did appreciate him cheering her up, though it didn’t completely dispel her frustration with Snape. But at least she had something to look forward to.

Namely, the first Hogsmeade visit.

~~~

Ellie waited until she knew her roommates were asleep before pulling out a couple of the journals and creeping down to the empty common room. She figured if she was going to understand just why Snape hated Sirius Black, it would likely be in there somewhere. Though even she was smart enough to know that it would be from his side of things and she’d probably need to talk to Lupin or her mother about it more. Perhaps they could give her a somewhat less skewed account of it.

Once settled on the comfiest sofa in front of the fireplace, she picked up the one from fifth year that she had been reading through, skimming through it until she found an entry mentioning Snape towards the back.

_It’s not like I thought he would actually go through the Whomping Willow when I mentioned it. Really, it was in jest and I never thought Snape would follow through. Not until James came running up to me, angrier than I’ve ever seen him. I still don’t understand why he was so angry with me. I only said that IF Snivellus was truly curious about where Remus goes off to once a month, then perhaps he should follow him. It’s not my fault that the git actually went and did it._

Ellie stopped reading, looking up at the fire. Just why would Professor Lupin be going through the Whomping Willow once a month? And why would it be such a bad thing that Snape would follow? So bad that Sirius’ best friend would be angry with him? She looked back down at the passage.

_I mean, for someone supposedly so brilliant and snoopy, he should have known what he’d be facing on the other side. There’s a reason we call Remus Moony, after all. And it’s not because he likes the moon. Or mooning. Or pranks of any sort, for that matter._

Ellie’s eyes widened as she stopped reading, dropping the journal into her lap, the pieces quickly falling together. Why Professor Lupin had taken so many sick days during first year. The scars on his face. Why he was always so haggard. Why once a month, her mother made sure that Ellie didn’t go outside after dark and why she had been so insistent on getting the greenhouse and her potions lab set up so quickly. Why there were times when she was working on potions that she would send Ellie off to do something else as though she didn’t want her to know what she was making.

Professor Lupin was a werewolf. And her father - Sirius Black - had knowingly sent Professor Snape to follow him on a night he was set to turn. She blinked a few times and then looked back down at the journal. Even though she knew this entry was from his fifth year - he was still young and foolish - she couldn’t help but feel appalled. He didn’t seem to have any remorse for what he did. That he very nearly could have sent another student to his death. Or at least sentenced him to a life as a werewolf. She would never, ever do such a thing, even to the Walker twins as much as she detested them.

She closed the book, not wishing to read anymore as she put it aside and drew her legs up to her chest, hugging them. This was the man that her mother wanted her to know about. To understand. To form some sort of connection with though he was dead. She wasn’t so sure at the moment that he was any better than Evan Selwyn.

After a few minutes, she gathered up the journals and crept back up the stairs to her dorm, quietly putting them under her bed before crawling into it. She decided that the first thing she did the next morning was send a letter to her mother about all this. 

There was a lot more to Sirius Black than she thought.


	10. Slip-Ups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still upset about the latest revelation, Ellie lets slip one of the secrets she's been desperately trying to keep. And true to form, it doesn't take long for the secret to spread. But none of that is as shocking as Harry finally approaching her.

Ellie frowned slightly as she looked over her mother’s letter while at breakfast that morning. Normally it didn’t take so long for Aurora to write back, but she had taken some time with this one. Ellie suspected it was because she had broached a difficult topic - namely that Sirius wasn’t the man that her mother wanted her to believe that he was.

_Yes, I did know about that incident, though it wasn’t until a couple years later. I hadn’t known of Remus’ condition at the time. I assure you, I was absolutely furious about it. Even for Sirius, it was too far. But thankfully, he had seen that what he did was wrong by that time. You have to understand, Sirius was a complicated person and was going through so much…_

Ellie wasn’t so sure what to think. From the journals so far, she could see that he went back and forth between happiness whenever he wrote about his friends and her mother, to rage whenever he mentioned how much he hated his family, though he didn’t mention too much about why so far. Then there were arrogant retellings of whatever prank or trouble he had gotten into. While she had started to feel a sort of connection with him before, the flimsy string had all but snapped after she read about the werewolf prank. More and more she was starting to see him as the arrogant, careless, and even callous person that Snape made him to be. How could someone like that have ever been a good father?

She continued reading as her mother switched over to the latest update on the baby. Her last appointment had gone well, and she asked Ellie if she had any suggestions for names. While Ellie wanted to be happy about that, she found the other part of the letter had her in an odd mood.

“Everything alright?” Ginny asked. Ellie sat up and looked over at her, folding up the letter and putting it back into the envelope. 

“Yea,” she said, nodding and offering a half smile. Ginny continued to study her in the way she always did when she suspected she wasn’t telling the full truth. “I think I’ll go take care of some homework.” Ellie pushed up from the table and shoved the envelope into her pocket.

“Okay, but don’t forget. After lunch we’re all going down to Hogsmeade together,” Ginny said lightly. Ellie nodded and started walking. She glanced back at the table, catching Seamus looking at her. He smiled and waved. She hoped she had offered a warm smile in return but was fairly sure it looked more like a grimace. Her eyes then traveled to the professors’ table where she saw Snape glaring at students as he looked around the room. 

Part of her thought about approaching him and asking more about Sirius. If anything, to try and get more of his opinion on him, but at the same time, she wasn’t sure he’d even talk to her. As if he could hear her thoughts Snape turned his glower to her. Quickly, she turned her focus back forward and quickened her pace, praying that her dorm was empty.

~~~

Ellie listened to the bubbly conversations going on around her as she walked with other members of the Gryffindor DA towards the Three Broomsticks. While she saw the members from the other houses here and there, it wasn’t nearly as much as she liked - being in different years and houses did that. Though she had done her homework in the library with Hannah and Susan just last week.

However, her mind was far from the outing as she lagged behind the rest of the group slightly. She was still thinking about the letter in her pocket and the journal entry, still trying to figure out her feelings on things. She had been so eager to learn more about Sirius, but now she wasn’t so sure. What if she continued on and discovered he was just as bad as Evan Selwyn? Perhaps she wouldn’t change her last name as her mother had asked her. She had long ago learned to live as a Selwyn and she knew that she could handle that. 

“Something wrong?”

Ellie looked up, seeing Seamus fall into step next to her. Her eyes widened as she glanced around the group, seeing Ginny laughing and leaning on Dean. Though she shot a worried look over her shoulder at Ellie. The two had been rather inseparable lately.

“Fine,” she said, smiling slightly.

“You seem distracted about something,” he said. “For the last week or so… Snape giving you trouble again?”

“It’s fine,” Ellie said, deciding her crush was the last person she wanted to bare her soul to. “Just… loads of homework and such.”

“Ah, well nothing to worry about there. Aren’t you at the top of your year?” he asked. Ellie blinked, surprised. How would he know that? 

“Yea,” she said. “I’m okay… nothing to worry about.” A tight-lipped smile appeared on her face and she hoped it would be enough to stop this conversation. 

“Ah, well, we’re here,” he said, pointing ahead. Ellie looked over, seeing they had arrived at the pub. She nodded and quickly followed the others, making her way to the large table where the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw DA members were already sitting. Taking a seat, she looked around the crowded place, seeing Harry sitting with Ron and Hermione across the room. She wondered why they hadn’t joined them, but after catching Harry’s eye and watching as he looked away and leaned over towards Ron and Hermione, she figured it was because he was still avoiding her. 

Sighing, Ellie looked at the group and pasted a smile on her face, trying to push aside her worries for the time being. She could think about Sirius Black later. 

~~~

For a time, it worked as she smiled and laughed at the others around her. She missed the regular meetings with DA, she found. While she wasn’t close with everyone in the group, she had felt like she had a purpose and was fully accepted being among them – no matter her heritage. This year without it and with things at Hogwarts returned to relatively normal - plus not making the quidditch team - Ellie couldn’t help but feel a bit adrift. Which then led to her thinking about her personal issues. 

Bother. She was supposed to be not thinking about Sirius Black. She was supposed to be having fun.

“What’s Potter and Weasley’s problem, you think?” Meredith asked. Ellie looked over at them again, finding the two with stern looks on their faces as they looked at their table.

“Probably because Ginny and Dean are dangerously close to snogging,” Seamus said with a laugh. Ellie looked over at her friend, seeing the ginger girl frowning at Seamus.

“Are not,” she said, though Dean just chuckled. Ellie rolled her eyes slightly. The two were often off snogging, that much she knew. And she didn’t think a crowded pub would stop them from having a full-on make out session. 

“So, how’s your mum?” Moira asked Ellie. She looked across the table at her friend and smiled.

“Fine. Good,” she said quickly, reaching for her butterbeer and taking a drink. “The manor keeps her busy, though Professor Lupin is still helping out.”

“Why would Professor Lupin be helping?” Lavender Brown asked, a smile starting to appear on her face. Bugger. She was the biggest gossip in Gryffindor and Ellie was sure everyone would think the two were dating before they even got back to the castle.

“Oh, ehm… they were good friends in school and… reconnected while Mum was on the run,” Ellie said quickly, looking back at her butterbeer. “He’s moved into the guest cottage to help out because it’s so much work. Really. The place hasn’t been used in such a long time and-”

“Really,” Moira jumped in. “Her mother completely needs the help. So much work.” 

“Yes, loads,” Meredith added.

“Yea, he’s just helping her as a friend,” Ellie interjected. “And with the baby-” Her eyes widened as she slapped her hand over her mouth. That was not what she had meant to say. The table went quiet as they all looked at her. 

“Baby?” Moira asked. Ellie had nearly forgotten that she had told some of the girls about her mother dating Sirius Black. While she knew that they would keep the secret, she could clearly see from the looks on Moira, Meredith, Hannah and Susan’s faces that they had already put two and two together. Luna just had a serene smile on her face, clearly thinking it was happy news. There was that at least - not the looks of shock on everyone else’s faces. She wasn’t sure she had wanted anyone to know about the baby just yet. She hoped that she would have at least until winter break to figure out that one.

“Ah… yea… Mum is expecting,” Ellie said. “Due around March.” Already, she was imagining the rumors that would go around. It was common knowledge now that her mother had left her father sometime last year and spent that time in hiding. No one save her friends knew about Sirius and even then, only she and Ginny knew the full truth. And well, Harry, Ron, Hermione and seemingly most of the professors. She glanced nervously over at the other table, catching Harry talking to Professor Slughorn. She hadn’t even told him yet. Considering how he had been acting towards her so far, she wasn’t sure how he would take the news.

“Well that’s… that’s happy news,” Meredith said, breaking the awkward silence. “You’ve always wanted a brother or sister. What do you think it’ll be?” Ellie shrugged, not really wanting to talk about it in such a large group. In a public place. She didn’t even know if her mother had told anyone outside Professor Lupin and Tonks. 

She took another drink of her butterbeer, finding it suddenly all too sweet for her taste. 

“You know, I have… just remembered I have some homework,” she mumbled, pushing up from the table and quickly making her way out of the pub. She was sure that she didn’t have long until Ginny followed her.

“Ellie!”

Sighing, she stopped and waited for Ginny to catch up to her.

“Are you alright?” Ginny asked. Ellie looked at her and laughed slightly.

“Perfectly fine,” she said sarcastically as she started walking again.

“But… I thought you were happy about that…”

“I am. I mean, yea, it’s still a bit weird, but Mum’s happy so I’m happy for her. And I do want to have a brother or sister, but-” She stopped and shook her head.

“You hadn’t meant to say anything,” Ginny said. “Is something wrong? You’ve been off for a couple weeks.” Ellie took a deep breath and looked over at her friend.

“I don’t think Sirius Black is this great man that everyone makes him out to be,” she said softly. “That day with Snape… he knows about _that_ … and he said some things-”

“You can’t really trust anything he says. He’s had it out for Harry for years because of some stupid rubbish that happened when they were all at school - with his dad and Sirius,” Ginny replied immediately. “Suppose he’s now taking his ridiculous anger out on you.”

“But it was true,” Ellie said, her eyes wide. “I read it in Sirius’ journal… he did nearly get Snape killed in a prank. And, and, from what he wrote, Sirius didn’t seem too upset about it.” Ginny furrowed her brow in confusion.

“What?” she asked.

“Mum gave me some of his journals, hoping that I could… connect with him. Get to know him. And after Snape said those things, I searched for something about it. And I found it. Then I wrote Mum about it and all she said was that it was a long time ago and he was remorseful about it, but how do I know _that’s_ true? She could have just said it to make me feel better,” Ellie said quickly, barely stopping for a breath.

“Sirius seemed, well, he seemed complicated,” Ginny said, clearly searching for something comforting to say. Ellie groaned.

“That’s what Mum said, but doesn’t make it any better,” she retorted.

“I know it’s not been easy-”

“You think?!” Ellie nearly shouted. “How am I supposed to connect with a man that very nearly got someone killed at the age of 15? And didn’t seem the least bit upset by it?! He’s no better than Evan Selwyn. And now Mum is having his baby.”

“Technically, it’s their second,” Ginny said. Ellie just glared at her. Ginny sighed and shook her head, clearly out of ideas for how to make this situation better.

“So, is it true, Selwyn?” 

Both girls stopped and looked over, Ellie’s stomach turning as she saw Blaise Zabini walking up to them, other Slytherins with him. Draco Malfoy was among them, though he looked uncomfortable, which was odd. Normally he led the pack, especially in attempting to torture other students.

“Your mother is a slag,” he finished, smiling cruelly. “Just overheard in the Broomsticks.”

“Shove off, Zabini,” Ginny said.

“It’s none of your business,” Ellie added, really not wanting to get into it with them at the moment. 

“Seems she’s still par for the course on disgracing purebloods,” he said.

“Pretty sure my f-father did that well enough on his own,” Ellie shot back. “She’s already changed her name back to Greenthistle.”

“And yet you’re still Selwyn,” Blaise said lightly. “Still hoping we’ll accept you back into the fold?”

“I never cared to be a part of your fold,” Ellie said, narrowing her eyes. 

“Might have considered it before. You’re still a Selwyn,” he replied. “But now it would seem that you’re nothing but damaged goods, thanks to that bitch of a mother of yours.” Ellie growled and started to lunge for him, though Ginny quickly grabbed her and held her back. Granted, the look on her face read that she would have liked nothing more than to join Ellie in jinxing the whole lot of them.

“My mother is a greater witch than all of your parents put together! At least she had the strength to run away and actually do something!” Ellie shouted. “What have your mothers done besides sit around at boring tea times and gossip? More than that, what the hell have your fathers done? Gone and gotten themselves locked up in Azkaban!” Her grey eyes fell on Draco, who was silently watching her, a cold expression on his face. She stopped struggling and just glared at all of them. “You’re not even worth a fight.” 

She turned on her heels and started stomping off, Ginny sending one more glare the Slytherins’ way before turning to follow her.

“Go ahead! Run away with your tail between your legs! Like mother, like daughter!” Pansy Parkinson shouted after her with a laugh. Ellie stopped and spun around, pulling her wand out as she charged towards the group again. 

“Bugger off!” Seamus shouted as he and Dean immediately stepped in between the two groups. Ellie stopped and glared at him. She did not need his help.

“Ah, here to help your little girlfriend? Makes sense that a blood traitor would take up with a mudblood,” Pansy quipped. Ellie tried to lunge towards them around Seamus, though he easily held her back. The sixth year was much larger than her.

“You take that back!” Ellie shouted, starting to point her wand at them. For a moment, they seemed concerned, starting to back away. Though she was two years younger, they knew enough about her to know that she wasn’t to be trifled with. 

“I do hope that you are not about to jinx another student, Ms. Selwyn,” Professor Slughorn said, bustling up to the group. Ellie looked over at him and immediately stopped struggling, dropping her wand hand. “I would so hate to give such a bright student detention.”

“We were just leaving, Professor,” Pansy said. She started pulling Draco with her and shortly after the Slytherins walked off. 

“Well then, no harm done,” Slughorn said cheerfully, thinking he had completed a job well done. “I will see you all in class, Ms. Selwyn and Weasley. Mr. Finbuggen and Tom.” He then nodded and headed off elsewhere. Ellie straightened her jumper, looking to watch the Slytherins walking off. 

“Should have let me jinx them when I had the chance,” she muttered, turning and starting back to the castle. Seamus frowned slightly though Ginny shook her head, silently telling him not to push it. 

Ellie was already on her last nerve.

~~~

Later on that night, Ellie was back in her little corner of the common room, her legs tucked up in the chair as she stared at the floor. As expected, news had spread and her fellow Gryffindors had spent the entire time she had been sitting there sending her looks and whispering. Surprisingly, Ellie found she didn’t care so much anymore. Let them say what they wanted. 

The run-in with the Slytherins reminded her of one thing - she loved her mother and knew that she was a good person. A strong person. And she would defend her no matter what, even if she was still struggling with everything regarding her fathers.

“Selwyn,” someone said softly. Ellie looked up, seeing a nervous looking Seamus standing in front of her. “I, ehm, I just wanted to apologize. If you didn’t want me to step in, I shouldn’t have.” 

Ellie dropped her legs to the floor and sat up.

“It’s fine,” she said, smiling slightly. “Probably a good thing you stopped me. Would have gotten detention or points deducted.” 

“I wanted to jinx them too,” he replied. “And everything they said - it’s rubbish.” Ellie nodded and looked away, her frown returning. “I’m sure that it’s been a surprise, and everything.”

“Yea, you could say that,” Ellie said with a sigh. 

“But Professor Lupin, he seems like a good bloke,” Seamus continued. Ellie’s eyes widened as she looked over at him. It appeared he had put the wrong pieces of the puzzle together at the Broomsticks. While she was grateful that he didn’t know the truth, she wasn’t sure she wanted the rumor going around that her mother and Lupin were together when they very much were not. For one, her mother probably wouldn’t appreciate it. 

“Oh… ehm… it’s not… they’re not…” she stuttered. Seamus’ eyes widened as his cheeks turned slightly red.

“Oh, sorry. I just thought… you mentioned him living at the manor, and… ehm… sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“It’s okay,” Ellie said quickly. “I could see why, but it’s not- ehm… It’s been a really confusing summer.” She sighed and sat back in the chair. 

“Yea?” Seamus asked. Ellie nodded and smiled up at him.

“But nothing for you to worry about. I’m fine. Mum’s fine. We’re all fine,” she said. He could sense that she didn’t want to talk about it further, so he nodded and smiled at her again.

“If you ever need to talk… I’m a good listener,” he offered.

“Thanks, I’ll think about it,” she said. He then walked back over to Dean, glancing at her a few times. Ellie pulled her legs back up into the chair, happy to be alone with her thoughts again. Granted it seemed that wasn’t meant to be as yet someone else walked up to her. Ellie sat up in shock as she saw Harry standing there, fidgeting slightly. Bugger. He had heard about her new little brother or sister.

“You’re on the team, Selwyn,” he said quickly, already starting to turn away.

“I’m, what?” Ellie asked, jumping up from the chair. That was not what she had been expecting. He turned back towards her slightly, but still not meeting her eyes.

“Katie’s… there’s been an accident and she’s at St. Mungo’s. You were next on the list, so you’re on the team. Ginny can tell you about the practice schedule,” he said. Before she could ask anything more, he had walked off and was heading up to the boys’ dorms. 

Ellie just watched him go, her mouth still hanging open. Well… that was unexpected.


	11. Something to Prove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the first match against Slytherin coming up and Harry still avoiding anything remotely related to Sirius, Ellie is about at her wit's end. But that's not going to stop her from proving herself.

Ellie huffed slightly as she narrowed her eyes and focused on avoiding bludgers as she kept flying towards the hoops. Harry was still yelling at her, but she ignored it. He had yelled at her nearly the whole practice despite the fact that she thought she was doing rather well. At least compared to most of the others. Really, he should be yelling at Coote and Peakes, who took people out accidentally more often than intentionally.

It was the last practice before their first match, and she could slightly understand why he might be on edge. This was a practically brand-new team. Only Harry was left from the previous golden team that had won under Oliver Wood. And then only Ginny and Ron had played last year. Plus, it was Harry’s first year as captain. She was sure that he had something to prove just as much as any of them. But it didn’t stop her from thinking that he yelled at her more than necessary.

She hadn’t dropped the quaffle once and Demelza was already up to four drops.

“SELWYN! YOU NEED TO PASS MORE!” Harry shouted after she had scored another goal. She rolled her eyes, but didn’t respond, already pulling into the next formation he wanted them to work on. She had been doing the plays just as he wanted, so if he had wanted her passing more, it was his own fault. Granted, he had designed them for Katie - she was meant to be taking the lead, not herself. With such a short time between Katie’s accident and the match, he had put Ellie in her place rather than completely rework everything and it seemed he wasn’t particularly happy with that decision.

After they went through a few more plays, Harry called them in and gave a half-hearted pep talk before dismissing them and going to take care of the equipment. 

“Why’s he being such a git?” Ellie asked Ginny as they walked towards the locker room.

“Him and Ron both,” Ginny huffed, shooting a scowl her brother’s way.

“Still upset about you and Dean?” Ellie asked. It seemed Ron was of the mind that Ginny was far to young to be dating his roommate or snogging him.

“It’s not like we were snogging in the common room,” Ginny grumbled. “We weren’t anywhere that we thought he’d walk in on… it’s his own fault. And they _are_ friends.”

“He is your older brother,” Ellie replied. 

“Somedays I rather wish I didn’t have so many older brothers. At least Fred and George aren’t here. They’d never let me live it down,” Ginny complained. Ellie couldn’t help but smile slightly, thinking the twins would have gone out of their way to embarrass her if they had been there. “Read anymore of the journals?”

Ellie’s smile quickly turned to a frown. She hadn’t picked them up for a few weeks, still unsettled about what she had learned. She shook her head and glanced back at Harry, finding he was alone on the pitch. 

“Not sure I want to,” she said, stopping.

“What are you doing?” Ginny asked, though she already knew what was going to happen. 

“Going to talk to Harry,” Ellie said, already marching back towards him.

“Ellie…” Ginny warned.

“It’ll be fine,” Ellie said, a determined look coming over her face. While she had hoped that Harry would stop completely avoiding her, this was not the direction she had hoped to go in. It was either one or the other - he was getting on to her about quidditch or ignoring her. And it was getting frustrating to say the least. They hadn’t even talked about her new brother or sister, though she was fairly sure he knew. The whole school did at this point.

“Harry,” she said, jogging up to him. Harry sighed and looked over at her.

“What is it, Selwyn?” he asked. 

“Why are you being so hard on me?” she demanded. “I’ve put in more than enough work to learn the plays. Think I’ve gotten them down fairly well, to be honest.” 

“You’re still falling behind,” he said, continuing on in his work.

“Not that far!” Ellie shouted. “Is this because of my mother?”

“No,” he said quickly.

“Because if you’re upset about that, then you should just come out and say it,” Ellie said. 

“It has nothing to do about that!” Harry shouted, looking at her. They stared at each other a few moments before he roughly picked up the last of the equipment and started towards the broom shed.

“Why won’t you talk to me?” Ellie asked.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Harry retorted. “Get to the locker room.” Ellie huffed as he stormed off, clearly finished with the conversation.

“Bloody stupid boys,” she muttered as she started back to the locker room. Always so complicated and broody. 

~~~

The next day, Ellie was a jumble of nerves and excitement. She was finally on the Gryffindor team and it was her first match. Even her mother was in the stands, sitting next to Professor McGonagall, eager to see it. Professor Lupin was supposed to come as well but backed out at the last minute. Ellie was secretly grateful for it - she didn’t want to fuel anymore rumors about her mother.

“Alright team,” Harry said, looking around at them. “We’ve put in the work. Now it’s time to put all that practice to use…” He continued on in his pep talk, though careful to avoid looking at Ellie. She saw Ron standing with a goofy grin on his face and wondered what had gotten into him. She had overheard him that morning saying that he was going to resign after the match, too nervous to continue. Something must have happened at breakfast, though Ellie didn’t care to find out what. She was more focused on not screwing up her part. 

“Ready for this?” Ginny asked as they made their way to the pitch. Ellie smiled at her and nodded.

“‘Course I am,” she replied as they waited for the match to start. Looking at the Slytherin team as Harry went to shake the captain's hand, Ellie couldn’t help as determination coursed through her. She may have been denied the chance to hex them, but she was going to make sure and get her revenge on the pitch. 

The match started up and Ellie found the nerves quickly dissipating as she focused on the plays that Harry had the three chasers going through over and over again. Within the first 30 minutes of the match, they were up by 60 points with Ginny scoring most of them and Ellie taking care of the rest herself. Ginny had given her a high-five as they passed after the last one. 

“With a performance like that, it’s curious why Potter didn’t choose Selwyn from the beginning,” she heard Zacharias Smith say over the loudspeaker. While he had been more of a nuisance for the match, Ellie couldn’t help but feel a bit of pride at that comment. And it seemed he was moving on from questioning Ron and Ginny’s placement.

Ron had even surprised her. She had been worried yesterday that he’d be able to pull it off, but so far he had stopped all the quaffles from the other team - some in spectacular form. Just what had happened at breakfast?

“Keep it up, Ellie!” Ginny shouted enthusiastically as she passed her the quaffle and Ellie sped off, weaving in and out of the Slytherin chasers. With two replacements on their side, she couldn’t help but think they had this one in the bag. 

She tossed the quaffle over her shoulder and shot down, flying low to the pitch, glancing over to see Delemza duck a bludger and then pass it back to Ginny. Ellie nodded as soon as she caught Ginny’s eye, shooting up in front of the hoops at the last minute and catching the quaffle before turning and launching it through the right hoop.

“More great team work from Selwyn, Weasley and Robins! Though I wonder just what is going on with Peakes and Coote - not the usual sort you’d see as beaters. Thought they had a bit more muscle.” Ellie frowned over towards Smith, starting to get annoyed with him again. She saw Harry shout something at the beaters, though she wasn’t sure what as immediately after, Coote took out a Slytherin chaser. While it helped them out, from the look on his face that hadn’t appeared to be his intended target.

The match continued on, with Ellie and Ginny scoring enough that they were now up by 100 points. She glanced around, wondering where the snitch was and just why Harry hadn’t gone for it yet. Now would be as good a time as ever. 

Suddenly there was a commotion from the Gryffindor end of the pitch. 

“They’ve found the snitch!”

“GO HARRY!” Ellie found herself shouting, despite the fact she was still a bit sore at him for his earlier treatment of her. He was lagging behind the Slytherin seeker, but quickly gaining. 

“ELLIE!” Ginny shouted, getting her attention as she tossed her the quaffle. Right, she needed to focus. There was no guarantee that Harry would catch it. She returned her focus to flying down the pitch mostly uninhibited as the beaters were focused on taking out Harry, though the Slytherin chasers were closing in.

“Think you’re going to win, blood traitor!” Urqhart shouted as he slammed into her side.

“Watch me!” she retorted, shoving him back and getting him off her side. She did a barrel roll away from him, then ducked under another chaser before flying up and launching the quaffle. Just as it was about to fly through, the crowd roared. Ellie looked over, seeing Harry holding the snitch triumphantly as Smith announce Gryffindor the winners. She grinned as she redirected towards the rest of the team, though Ginny had shot off passed the group. Just as Ellie had reached them and Demelza threw her arm around her shoulder, there was an ungodly racket. They all looked over, seeing that Smith had disappeared and Ginny had hopped off her broom, grinning smugly as she stood among the debris that was the stands. Ellie chuckled as they all flew over and landed.

“That was brilliant!” Aurora shouted as she stepped over and hugged Ellie.

“Thanks, Mum,” she said beaming up at her. She had a heavy coat on that carefully covered up her condition, as she placed her hand on Ellie’s cheek and then pulled her in for another hug. Ellie glanced over at the team, catching Harry’s eye. His grin slid from his face slightly and then he looked away, stepping over to congratulate Ron. 

Before she could say anything, Aurora had let her go and was already headed over to him. Ellie started to reach out for her, to tell her not to bother, but she moved quickly despite being five months pregnant, nimbly making her way through the wreckage of the bleachers and the exuberant Gryffindor team. Harry had already started to move away, making as though he were going to hop on his broom and fly off, but Aurora reached out and touched his shoulder. He looked over at her, his expression an unreadable mix of emotions. Aurora smiled at him and spoke. He nodded and smiled slightly, then said something before hopping down the bleachers and onto his broom. Aurora watched him, a pensive look on her face.

“He won’t talk to me either,” Ellie said when she reached her mother’s side. Aurora looked down at her and put an arm around her shoulders.

“He’s… he’s got a long going on at the moment,” she said cryptically, confusing Ellie. “Best to just… give him space. He’ll come around, I should think.” Ellie rolled her eyes, not really believing it as many times as she heard that phrase. Aurora then hugged Ellie again. “I should get back to the manor. Sure you want to go celebrate. Really, amazing job, Ellie. He would be so proud of you.” Ellie nodded, feeling slightly uncomfortable at the mention of Sirius.

“Thanks, Mum.”

~~~

Ellie felt a bit lighter by the time they had gotten back to the tower, the celebration party already in full swing. Ron stood in the middle of the room as everyone chanted “Weasley is our King!” with a dazed grin on his face. 

“His head’s going to get too big,” Ginny griped, though she was still smiling. Ellie just shrugged.

“Did a lot better than I was expecting,” she admitted. “Thought it was going to fall on us and Harry to pull off a win.” 

“Suspect he won’t be resigning now,” Ginny added. 

“Brilliant match, Gin,” Dean said as he and Seamus walked up to them, their faces still bearing remnants of the Gryffindor colors though their facepaint had started rubbing off. He bent down and kissed her cheek. 

“There’s a lot more where that came from,” Ginny replied, grinning up at him.

“Should be celebrating you two,” Seamus said, looking at Ellie. “Yea, Ron did well, but you managed 11 goals between the two of you.” Ellie just shrugged and smiled.

“As Ginny said, there’s more where that came from,” she said. Seamus laughed just as a round of whistles started up. The group looked over just in time to see Lavender snogging the daylights out of Ron. Ginny wrinkled her nose as Ellie chuckled.

“They could at least find somewhere more private,” Ginny said, clearly not happy with the display. 

“Seems that’s what they’ve got in mind,” Seamus replied as the two started off towards the portrait hole.

“Think it’s a rather good idea,” Dean said, grinning down at Ginny before pulling her away. Ellie rolled her eyes slightly as she turned back to watch the party. She still wasn’t sure what the big deal about snogging was, though part of her did wonder what it would be like to kiss Seamus. She quickly shook her head, feeling her cheeks heat up slightly. Would do her no good thinking that way. But still, the thought that she wouldn’t mind her first kiss being with him managed to sneak into her head.

“Those two,” Seamus said, shifting on his feet awkwardly. Ellie glanced at him and then back at the others, willing her cheeks not to turn red. She saw Hermoine sneaking out of the room, an upset look on her face.

“Yea,” she replied, looking down at her feet. For some reason, she wasn’t sure what to say to him, though it certainly wasn’t the first time they had been alone. All the talk of snogging had turned the moment awkward.

“Saw your mam here,” Seamus said. 

“She wanted to see me play. Wasn’t sure if she’d be able to make the others later on with, you know,” Ellie said. 

“Yea, sure it might get a bit harder and all…” he said. “You want some butterbeer? I’ll get us some butterbeer.” Before she could reply, he was off to the other side of the room. 

“So, talking to Finnegan again,” Moira said as she and Meredith bounced up to her. 

“He was just congratulating me on the match,” Ellie said, sure that she was blushing as she stole a glance at him. He was now talking to Harry, a full grin on his face. 

“Yea, sure that was all,” Meredith said, her eyes twinkling.

“Stop it. He’s a sixth year. Sure he’s not interested in a fourth year,” Ellie said reasonably.

“But his best friend is dating your best friend,” Moira pointed out.

“So? Doesn’t mean that he’ll automatically want to date me,” Ellie scoffed. Moira just shrugged, still grinning. 

“Come on, it’s a party. Let’s dance,” Meredith said, already pulling Ellie towards the middle of the room where a group of students had started moving around to music that was coming from somewhere.

“Fine!” Ellie said, laughing. As the three girls joined the throng, Ellie couldn’t help feeling a bit lighter. So she still hadn’t come to understand Sirius. Or how to get Harry to talk to her. Or what to do about Seamus - well, no. She did know that. Nothing. But for now, she was happy to push the rest aside and just have fun.


	12. Learning to Hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Ellie is still struggling to connect with Sirius Black, one thing is for sure - she most definitely is beginning to hate the man she believed was her father, Evan Selwyn.

Ellie scrunched up her nose in concentration as she watched the cauldron slowly change colors. She then smiled in satisfaction as she gingerly sprinkled in the last ingredient and stirred three times counterclockwise. The color changed once more to a brilliant violet as she stepped back and surveyed her work. She was grateful for all those times that her mother had let her help with her potion-making. 

“Wonderful work, Ms. Selwyn,” Professor Slughorn said as he stepped up and looked into the cauldron. “Dare say it’s the best in the class.” Ellie smiled triumphantly as she glanced around, seeing the dirty looks sent her way from the Slytherins. “Think that deserves five points for Gryffindor.” 

“Thank you, professor,” she said, moving to bottle it up. She most definitely enjoyed potions this year, she decided. At least Slughorn liked her.

“That is all for today, class. Leave a vial of your potions on my desk as you leave,” Slughorn said, looking around the room. There was a chorus of grumbles as everyone quickly bottled up their potions and gathered their things. He remained looking into her cauldron as she packed up her bag and the others filed out of the room. 

“Truth be told, I’m not surprised at your prowess. As I’ve said before, your mother was one of the best in her class. Save for Professor Snape,” Slughorn said, looking over at her. Ellie paused as she looked over at him. “She was in my club as well.”

“Really?” she asked, stepping towards him. 

“Oh yes, very bright,” he continued. “Both her and her friend, Lily Evans, were some of my favorite students.” 

“She’s taught me about potions a lot at home,” Ellie said. “She still brews many of her own.” 

“I’m not surprised,” he said, chuckling. “I was most definitely happy to see that you’ve inherited many of her talents. Though I’m sure you’ve excelled in other fields thanks to your father.” Ellie frowned slightly. Did he know too? “Oh, forgive me. I shouldn’t have brought him up, being in Azkaban and all…” 

Ellie breathed a sigh of relief, though just as quickly an odd feeling came over her. It had surprised her that she would think of Sirius Black as her father before Evan Selwyn. In fact, now that she really thought about it, she hadn’t spared Evan any thought in weeks. While she was still undecided on Sirius, she had most decidedly distanced herself from Evan Selwyn in her mind. He never felt like her father, to be honest.

“Well then, off you go, Ms. Selwyn,” Slughorn said, smiling though she could see that he was eager to have her gone. Ellie smiled and nodded, then handed him the bottle before scurrying out of the room, her thoughts churning yet again.

She hadn’t looked at the journals in weeks. Even her mother had stopped mentioning Sirius in her letters, though she had received another at breakfast that she had yet to read. Thankfully between class and quidditch, it wasn’t as though she had had all that much time to really think about Sirius or Evan. 

_I hope he’s rotting in Azkaban._

Ellie stopped, the ferocity of the thought surprising her. She had always sensed indifference and, on occasion, outright dislike, from Evan Selwyn. But even then, she had never outright hated him. She shook her head and continued to Gryffindor Tower.

~~~

Ellie walked into her dorm, intending to drop off her things and then go back down to the common room, but she paused, seeing the edge of a journal peeking out from under her bed. She glanced towards the shut door and then walked over, picking it up. The talk about her mother had her curious. So, for the first time in a while, she sat on her bed and opened it, stopping at a random entry.

_I wish that Slughorn hadn’t walked up. I hadn’t quite got my point across to Selwyn. How Greenthistle’s mother could ever see him as a good match for her, I’ll never know. He bloody said he wanted to beat the Gryffindor out of her! The fact that anyone would ever consider beating any girl - especially ~~Aurora~~ Greenthistle. It makes my blood boil again just thinking about it._

_She’s not something to be possessed or owned. She’s brilliant. And beautiful. And has a mind of her own. While I’m sure she could take him on all on her own, I still wouldn’t mind attempting to beat the Slytherin out of him and show him what it feels like. Merlin knows my father has tried to beat the Gryffindor out of me plenty of times enough. If anyone would even so much as try to lay a hand on her, they would face my full wrath and fury._

Ellie stopped reading, her heart clenching. She flipped ahead, not sure she wanted to keep reading that entry. She stopped when she saw Selwyn again.

_Bloody brilliant show today. Selwyn stopped ~~Aurora~~ Greenthistle in the Great Hall at lunch, some smug look on his face as he brought up some stupid pureblood event coming up over the break and how her mother had expressed that she would like him to escort her. Greenthistle flat out told him no. She then started to walk away, but he, being the git that he is, said that it was already settled. Greenthistle turned around, those beautiful blue eyes blazing something fierce, as she told him nothing was settled until she agreed and she’d never agree to going anywhere with him. That smug look disappeared rather quickly then. And, of course, he just had to have the final say. Told her that she didn’t have a choice. Before he could even finish the sentence, she had him flat on his back with a pus-squirting hex before stomping off with Evans. _

_I couldn’t have done a better job myself. And serves him right. He thinks that he has all this power because of his family and name. Always trying to manipulate things and bend others to his will. He’s got another thing coming if he thinks he’ll get Greenthistle to bend to him. She’s got fire that would likely burn him alive if she let it._

Ellie looked up, her thoughts going back over the years they had lived in Selwyn Manor. Her parents had always put up a cool exterior around each other. But there were times when they didn’t think she was watching. She had heard the hurtful things he had said to her. Put her down for being Gryffindor. Reminded her who held the power in that relationship. And though for the longest time, Aurora had seemed to put up with it, Ellie realized there had been small displays of defiance. How her mother had insisted she be in charge of her education. Stepping in when Evan had very nearly been hateful towards her. Always protecting her from him. Reminding her that she was wonderful even though he ignored her at best, made snide comments at worse. 

While this all just re-confirmed her thoughts about her mother, it also made her see other things about the man she had thought was her father that she hadn’t previously realized. Had he actually beaten her mother when she wasn’t around? He certainly never hid his attempts to control her. Ellie frowned as the start of something that she could only describe as hatred towards Evan Selwyn started coursing through her. 

Even if she was still undecided about Sirius, at the very least he had seen her mother as she was and celebrated all the things that Evan had attempted to squash. Her spirit. Her strength. Her independence. Ellie looked over, her eyes falling on the letter from her mother. She put the journal aside, reaching for it. She wanted nothing more than to read her mother’s words just then.

She quickly opened it, reading through it. Her mother was happy and well, cheerfully updating Ellie on her sixth month exam with the healers. The baby was strong. Aurora wrote that she had a good feeling it was a boy that she couldn’t explain, though she would be happy no matter what as long as the baby was healthy.

Ellie then came to the last bit.

_I know that you are conflicted on your feelings about Sirius, but, please, don’t give up on him. Keep reading. He was complicated and he had his faults, but so do we all. I spent too many years weak and giving in to Evan. Losing hope. But then I found Sirius again. You both are more alike than you realize. More than anything, you both gave me hope in my darkest hours. Reminded me how strong I could be. How strong I already was. And that I had something to fight for - you._

Ellie looked over, dropping the letter on the bed as she reached for the journal. She opened it again.

_I don’t know why I keep going home. It’s obvious they don’t want me there. Mother, I’m sure, is about to smite me from the family tree as it is. They spent all of the holidays going on and on about Regulus and what a good son he was. And why couldn’t I be a good son like Regulus? For his part, he seemed embarrassed and I don’t hold it against him. Not his fault that I was sorted into Gryffindor and not Slytherin. And I know that he only goes along with it because he’s seen how Father has treated me. I’d much rather take the beatings than allow Father to hurt him. If this is how I can protect him, then I’ll do it. Though it makes me wonder if I should run away. What will happen to him if I’m not there?_

Ellie gasped softly as she shut the book and dropped it on her bed. She hadn’t expected that. She knew, of course, that Sirius had run from home, turning his back on his family’s pureblood ways. But she hadn’t known the details. She wiped her cheek as she stared at the journal, a familiar stirring going through her.

While Evan had never raised a hand against her, she could understand what it was like to have a parent look down on you. Again, while mostly appearing indifferent, there had been the comments. The lack of pride in her. The backhanded compliments that were never really compliments. The things he said when he thought she wasn’t around.

_“Suppose your marks are decent enough for a Gryffindor…”_

_“Maybe someday you’ll contribute something to the Selwyn name…”_

_“Weasley? How dare you besmirch the Selwyn name by being associated with that sort…”_

_“Perhaps I can arrange some sort of decent match for you… despite your house and lackluster achievements…”_

_“Aurora, you indulge her far too much. She’ll never be the Selwyn heir…”_

_“If only I had had a son…”_

_“You should be studying, not wasting your time on a silly sport like quidditch…”_

_“Does it matter what her marks are? You should be teaching her to be a good, obedient witch. That’s what will make for a good match…”_

_“At least she looks decent enough…”_

_“You honestly think she could be a prefect someday? Suppose she could… not as though Gryffindor really cares about who they choose…”_

Ellie wiped at the tears now pouring down her cheeks. She knew now that Evan Selwyn had never loved her. Of course, she had sensed as much before, but she never really understood why. Now she knew that it was because he knew that she was the daughter of Sirius Black. And it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t like she had a choice in that matter. She then looked down at her mother’s letter, the last line sticking out to her.

_He loved you so very much. He was so proud of you._

How was it that this man who barely knew her, had only met her once, how could he love her so much while the man who had raised her barely stood her? Ellie looked towards her trunk, where she had hid Sirius’ gift and letter, still not ready to open them yet. For a moment, she considered it. She even stood and started towards it. But then she stopped and shook her head, remembering the prank. Snape. 

Instead she climbed back onto her bed, lying on her side and closing her eyes. She may be conflicted about Sirius, but she knew one thing. Evan Selwyn never loved her or her mother. And she now hated him.


	13. Crushes & Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seamus is not flirting with her, of that Ellie is sure. Or is he? What's more, she learns more of how her parents got together in school.

Ellie hunched over the table in the common room, going back and forth between furiously writing on her scroll and then intently studying her defense against the dark arts book. Snape had assigned them an essay on counter-curses that she had put off to the last minute thanks to quidditch practice. She had also taken up reading the journals again, which had proved more distracting lately. 

There were still several to get through, but Ellie felt like she was finally starting to get a picture of who Sirius was. Or at least she felt like she had a better grasp on it. Though the more she read, the more she realized that there was so much more to learn about him. Thankfully it wasn’t too much longer before the Christmas holidays. She fully intended to ask her mother and Professor Lupin more about him then. 

“What’s this?” Seamus asked, walking up to her. Ellie looked over, thinking he was asking about her homework, but her eyes widened as she saw him pick up the small leather journal that she had forgotten she had with her. She had taken to carrying them around and reading them in between classes now, though still hid them from most people. She had forgotten to stick it back in her bag after pulling it out accidentally, too caught up in her homework. He looked over the cover and started to open it.

“Give it back, Finnegan!” Ellie shouted, launching from her chair and reaching for it. Seamus looked at her, mildly amused as he held it just out of her reach.

“Wouldn’t be your diary, would it?” he asked, smiling slightly. Of all the ruddy times for him to tease her. She was so concerned about him finding out what the book was that she didn’t even take the time to think about the fact that he very well could have been flirting with her in that moment. Even if he was, it was rather annoying.

All she could think about was how she didn’t want him to know she was reading Sirius Black’s journals. That alone would bring up far too many questions that she didn’t want to answer. Not to mention, he was Harry’s friend and roommate. The last thing she needed was Seamus asking him about it, likely making Harry even more upset with Ellie. Though she still wasn’t sure just why he was upset with her in the first place.

“No! It’s, it’s, none of your damn business!” she shouted, still attempting to grab the book. Curse the fact that he was a good few inches taller than her.

“You seem to want it back really badly,” he said calmly as Ellie huffed. Getting even more frustrated, she kicked him in the shin, causing him to yelp in pain and drop the journal to the floor. “You didn’t have to kick me!”

“You wouldn’t give it back!” Ellie said indignantly as she reached down and picked the journal up, then held it to her chest as she frowned at him.

“I wasn’t going to read it or anything,” he replied, rubbing his leg, looking slightly remorseful. Whether it was because she kicked him or he truly was, that was up for debate. Ellie just continued to glare at him, not really believing him. “Seriously, I wasn’t.” Ellie just rolled her eyes and returned to her seat, putting the journal into her bag. “What is it anyway?”

“It’s a, ehm, family heirloom,” she said, not looking up at him as she pulled the scroll towards her.

“Ah, must be important then,” he said. Ellie nodded. “Sorry for takin’ it.” Ellie glanced up at him, an eyebrow raised. “Really, I am Selwyn. I wouldn’t have touched it if I knew how important it was.” Ellie sighed.

“Suppose I may be able to forgive you,” she replied. “Though I’ll have to think about it.”

“Any way I can make it up to you? I could look over your essay for you,” he offered. While Ellie wouldn’t have minded spending the next half hour or so seated close to Seamus as he went over her homework, she was fairly sure that he would only slow her down. Or mark something wrong that she had right. Which would then make her have to start over rewriting everything. While Seamus was more than capable when it came to practical applications - or at least he was now after DA - she heard him lamenting about his marks more often than not to Dean when it came to homework. He could probably due with her help more than she his.

“I’m good, but thanks for the offer,” Ellie said, smiling. Seamus nodded and walked off, though he glanced over at her a few times as she sighed and started on her homework again.

“What was that?” Ginny asked, flopping into the chair next to her and causing her to jump. 

“What are you talking about?” Ellie asked, turning back to her homework, her cheeks blazing.

“That! With Finnegan. He was flirting with you,” Ginny said, grinning.

“Was not. He was teasing me,” Ellie replied. “Pretty sure he just sees me as a younger sister…” Ginny just rolled her eyes. 

“What’s the big deal about this book anyway?” Ginny asked, reaching into Ellie’s bag and pulling it out. She held it slightly away from her, cautiously studying it. At first Ellie thought it strange, then remembered what she had told her about her first year. When she had been possessed by You Know Who through a mysterious journal that had been placed among her things by Lucius Malfoy. Of course, she would be suspicious of unmarked leather journals.

“It’s his,” she said softly. Ginny’s eyebrows rose as she looked back at the book and then tucked it into Ellie’s bag again. “Didn’t mean to leave it out. I forgot it was in my bag. Was reading it during history of magic.”

“Learn anything new?” Ginny asked. Ellie shrugged and shook her head.

“Just… more the same. He really likes to write about his pranks,” she said with a sigh. “Really, I don’t see just what it is that everyone keeps saying we have in common… I’ve never done a prank in my life.” Ginny nodded and looked at the opened bag as Ellie glanced around the common room, seeing Harry sitting with Ron and Hermione. He hadn’t noticed her, which was probably a good thing otherwise he’d run off. Granted, it wasn’t like she could just walk up to him and demand that he speak to her in front of his friends. He had made it abundantly clear that he hadn’t wanted a damn thing to do with her. The closest thing to a conversation they had was him shouting instructions and plays at her during practice. “You think he’ll ever talk to me?”

Ginny sighed and followed Ellie’s gaze over to Harry.

“Dunno. He’s been more closed off this year. Running off at random times alone. Only really talks to Ron and Hermione,” she replied. “I’m not sure what’s gotten into him. Though suspect it’s probably to do with Sirius.” Ellie nodded.

“Just wish that he would talk to me,” she said glumly. “This would be a lot easier if I could just ask him about Sirius rather than having to wait on Mum to answer my letters.” 

“Well, you’ve always got me,” Ginny said cheerfully. “Can’t really answer your questions, but I am a good listener.” Ellie smiled gratefully at her. 

“That is true,” she said, leaning her head on her hand. “Mind looking over my essay?”

“Sure,” Ginny said, sitting up and leaning to look at the scroll. “Looks like you don’t need much help here…”

~~~

Ellie snuggled down under her quilt, pulling the journal up and opening it to where she had left off the last time, finding that Sirius’ messy handwriting was starting to become familiar to her.

_I’ve finally had a full conversation with Greenthistle that didn’t involve her yelling at me. Or threatening to jinx me if I took one more step closer. It was glorious. I was in the library planning to try and attempt to do the latest homework that Slughorn assigned when I found her sitting by herself at one of the tables at the back. The light came in from the window and hit her at just the right moment and I thought I lost my breath for a moment._

_I then just walked up to her before I lost my nerve and asked if she could help me with potions. She seemed shocked. I don’t blame her - I never ask anyone for help with homework save Moony. She then told me to sit down, though she seemed surprised by her own actions. Suppose my charm is finally starting to work on her. We worked for a couple hours, with her calmly going through everything. I didn’t really need that much help, but it gave me a reason to talk to her. I even made her laugh a couple times. It was like hearing angels sing._

_Afterwards, I asked if maybe she wanted to spend some time with us - all of us - during the next Hogsmeade visit. That she could bring Evans along as well. She wasn’t sure at first but said she would think about it and talk to Evans. She could still back out, but I think she really might come this time._

A soft smile came over Ellie’s face as she leaned back and thought about her mother and Sirius in school - she had seen more than enough photographs of them from that time that she could clearly see it in her mind. Sirius nervously approaching her mother in the library, asking for help. Her mother, probably surprised, then agreeing. The two of them sitting side by side, Aurora explaining the work while Sirius snuck glances at her the whole time. 

Perhaps he wasn’t such a bad person.

She put the journal aside and reached for another, wondering what happened next in their story. She opened it up to an entry that had her mother’s name.

_I did it. I finally told Aurora how I felt. And beyond all miracles, she said that she felt the same. I thought my heart would stop for a moment. The most beautiful, brilliant witch at Hogwarts - no, the wizarding world - agreed to be my girlfriend. After James finally managed to ask out Evans, I figured it was time I got my shit together and finally told her how I felt. Being friends with her has been amazing, but I just… I had to tell her. So, I did. And for some reason, she likes me back. I still can’t seem to fathom why. But I’m not going to question it. Never question a good thing, Black._

Ellie stopped reading, a look coming over her face. She reached for some of the other journals, flipping through them as a thought came to her. Even though it didn’t seem that Sirius started writing about his crush on her mother until fifth year, he had mentioned her a lot from early on. And she was the only girl that he ever really seemed to talk about, save whenever he mentioned James’ crush on Lily Evans. Blimey, he had liked her for years. And she was the only woman he had ever seemed to care for. 

There were footsteps coming up the stairs. Ellie looked over to the door a moment before gathering the books together and sticking them under her bed before reaching for another book. She had just settled back on the bed when Laura and Lila walked in. The two gave her cool looks before going over to their beds. They had graduated to ignoring her now, though Ellie would take that over snide remarks and comments. 

She looked down at her book, deciding it was best to just ignore them as well. Soon enough, Moira and Meredith came into the room.

“There you are. We were wondering where you had gone off to,” Moira said.

“Got a bit tired and wanted to read,” Ellie said, turning a page.

“Saw you and Finnegan earlier,” Meredith said. Ellie looked up, noticing the grin on her face. 

“We were just talking,” Ellie said, looking back at the book.

“That was not just talking. He was clearly flirting with you,” Meredith said.

“Was not,” Ellie retorted. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Laura glaring at her from across the room. “He was being annoying…” Meredith just rolled her eyes as she set about to getting ready for bed. Ellie just sighed and returned to her book, though she couldn’t help as her thoughts turned to Seamus. Had he truly been flirting with her? While she found the thought ridiculous, she couldn’t help but feel a bit happy about it despite her earlier irritation. She still wasn’t going to say a word to him about her crush, but it was nice to think that perhaps there could be something there.


	14. Return to Greenthistle Manor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellie returns home for Christmas only to find that her slip-up in Hogsmeade may have led to rumours spreading far wider than she expected. And causes her to overhear a rather awkward conversation between her mother and Professor Lupin.

Ellie couldn’t help but smile as she walked into the manor and saw the front hall covered in Christmas decorations. There was a light and airy feel to the place as Professor Lupin carried her trunk in and sat it down in the large foyer. 

“It looks brilliant!” she exclaimed, looking to her mother, who had trailed behind them, starting to move a bit slower as her stomach grew. There was no denying that Aurora was pregnant at this point and they had gotten a fair amount of looks while picking up Ellie from the train station. She couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty, knowing that her slip-up in Hogsmeade had likely fueled most of the whispers and disapproving looks. It still wasn’t public knowledge at school that her mother had been with Sirius, so many assumed that the baby belonged to Professor Lupin. That was another thing that Ellie didn’t want to think about.

“Well, I wanted our first Christmas here to be perfect,” Aurora said, as she started to pull off her coat, Professor Lupin quickly moving to help her as Mitsy rushed up.

“Shall Mitsy take Little Miss’ luggage up?” she squeaked. 

“Yes, please,” Aurora said, rubbing her belly. “Dare say I could get off my feet a bit. Could you have someone send in tea?” 

“Yes, Mistress!” The elf disappeared with the trunk as Aurora smiled at Ellie and started towards the den. Ellie followed her, taking in all the decorations. While there had still been some work left on the manor when she left for school, it appeared that her mother had finished it up in anticipation for her return for the holidays.

As they stepped into the room, her eyes immediately went to the tree set up there, numerous packages already underneath while three stockings adorned the mantle of the fireplace. Professor Lupin helped Aurora to sit, then moved to take off her shoes before setting her feet on an ottoman. Aurora sighed in relaxation as she looked over at Ellie. Even though Ellie knew there was nothing between her mother and former professor, she couldn’t help but wonder with the way he was helping. And how he seemed to wait constantly at her side, anticipating her every need. 

“Come, tell me about school,” Aurora said, patting the sofa next to her. Ellie walked over and sat as one of the staff walked in with a tray of tea and other assorted snacks.

“Ehm… everything is going well,” Ellie said, not wanting to get into talk of Harry with Lupin there. While she had grown used to his presence over the summer, there were still things that she only wanted to speak about with her mother. “My marks are still good.”

“I received a letter from Professor Slughorn. Seems he is impressed with you,” Aurora said, reaching for a pumpkin pastie. Ellie was surprised. Her mother was never one for sweets. “It’s the baby. Seems he has just as big a sweet tooth as his father,” Aurora said with a sigh as she gazed down at her belly after noticing Ellie’s look. 

“Everything alright?” Ellie asked, looking at her mother’s stomach. Aurora nodded and jumped slightly.

“Seems he’s excited to have you here too,” Aurora said. She reached out and took Ellie’s hand, placing on the side of her belly. There was a soft kick. Ellie’s eyes widened as she looked up at her mother. “Been getting more active lately. Dare say we have another quidditch player in the making.” 

“Does he do that a lot?” Ellie asked, scooting closer.

“Mostly at night when I’m trying to sleep,” Aurora said with a sigh. “Got one of the rooms cleared out for the nursery. Near mine and next to… well… I was hoping that you’d help me plan out what to do with it.” Ellie smiled at her mother and nodded, though she picked up on her hesitation. She knew that she was talking about the room she had picked out for Harry, should he decide to come visit or stay with them. Like all things surrounding Harry, she pushed it from her head for the time being.

She had to admit, while at school, the baby seemed like a far-off concept. But being here now and feeling its kick, an excitement was starting to fill her. In a few months she would have a new brother. Or she supposed it could be a sister. Her mother still didn’t know, though seemed rather convinced it would be a boy still.

“If you’re settled, I have a few things I should take care of,” Professor Lupin said, looking towards Aurora.

“Yes, thank you for your help today, Remus,” Aurora replied, smiling at him.

“Good to see you, Ellie. I’ll be back for dinner later,” he said before walking out.

“Is he always here?” Ellie asked after he had left, her earlier suspicions rising again.

“For the most part. He does have his work, so it’s not all the time. But he has been a great help,” Aurora said. “Not sure how I would have managed on my own, though I suppose I would have figured it out.” She glanced around the room, and Ellie caught a slight sheen of tears in her mother’s eyes. She then turned to Ellie, a smile on her face. “But enough about that… tell me everything. How’s that boy you have a crush on?”

Ellie’s eyes widened. She hadn’t mentioned anything about Seamus in her letters home so was shocked her mother even knew. Aurora just chuckled. 

“Molly Weasley does tell me things, you know. And seems Ginny certainly likes sharing with her mother,” Aurora said. 

“Oh, well… I don’t think he thinks of me… like that,” Ellie said, suddenly feeling rather shy. “He is older…sixth year…”

“True. I suppose I am happy if that’s the case. I’m not sure what I would do if a 16-year-old boy fancied my daughter,” Aurora said. “Sirius would have thrown a fit-” She stopped speaking as she blinked, the tears returning.

“He would have?” Ellie asked. Aurora smiled slightly and nodded.

“Most likely. He could be rather protective,” she continued. She then looked down at her belly. “He would have been excited about this one.” 

“You never did tell me… how did you find him?” Ellie asked, taking advantage of her mother’s openness.

“Well… when I heard that he had escaped, I had hoped to find him. I had a gut feeling that he hadn’t done what they said, but… being at Sewlyn Manor and out of contact with him… I wasn’t sure just where he would go. Which is why it took nearly two years to find him,” she said. Ellie’s eyes widened. She had been searching that long. “But then… I came across an old photo of him and his brother in one of my photo albums taken at their home and… I thought perhaps I should try looking there.” 

“Regulus, right?” Ellie asked. Aurora nodded.

“They’re all dead - have been for years - so that would leave Grimmauld Place to Sirius. It would be the likeliest place that he’d go to hide. So, I went one night when I told… him… that I was doing some shopping. And Sirius was there,” Aurora said. “He didn’t want to speak to me at first, but we very quickly made amends.” 

“Because he loved you,” Ellie stated. Aurora nodded and smiled, reaching out to touch Ellie’s cheek. 

“And as soon as I told him about you, he immediately loved you as well,” she said. Ellie nodded and looked back down at her mother’s belly, wanting to look anywhere but her mother’s eyes.

“I’ve been reading more… Mum… did you know that you were the only girl he ever talked about?” Ellie asked. Aurora chuckled.

“I suspected as much. I hadn’t read through all the journals. Thought you would need them more than I did,” she said. “He always told me that he had fancied me for years before he finally confessed.”

“It’s just… he’s so… dunno,” Ellie said, looking up at her mother. “I mean… sometimes I think he might have been rather wonderful. And then others… and then when I read what he wrote about his family…” Aurora’s smile faded slightly.

“Yes… he had a rather difficult life with them. The Blacks were very staunchly pureblood supremacists. Sirius very much was not. It created quite a lot of tension between them,” Aurora said. 

“He wrote that they beat him,” Ellie said softly. 

“Yes… he told me of that,” Aurora replied. Ellie swallowed, hesitating a bit before she asked her next question.

“Mum… did… did he… did _he_ beat you?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“No, he didn’t,” Aurora replied, once again reaching out to Ellie’s cheek. “He was cruel and controlling, but he never hurt me like that.” Ellie nodded. “And the most important part is that we never have to see him again.” 

“Right,” Ellie said. Aurora looked around the room and then suddenly pushed up from the sofa. “Where are you going?”

“Come on then. We could use something a bit cheerier. Let’s go have a look at the baby’s room,” Aurora said brightly. Ellie hopped up, following her mother out. She supposed she couldn’t blame her. Evan Selwyn was still a sore spot with her as well. And this _was_ Christmas. It was time to put those dark thoughts aside. 

Her mother was right about one thing. They would never have to see _him_ again.

~~~

Ellie moved quietly as she made her way downstairs to the kitchen. The rest of the house was quiet, likely having gone to bed. They had spent a few hours discussing options for how to decorate the baby’s room, then enjoyed a quiet dinner with Professor Lupin. Before he left for the cottage, Ellie noticed her mother slipping him a potion which she suspected was likely wolfsbane. 

They had then played a few games, listened to the wireless, before Aurora tiredly stood and said she was retiring for the night. Ellie had intended to do the same, but she had been up reading Sirius’ journals in her room and felt like getting a snack. Hence why she was now creeping through the dark manor towards the fully stocked pantry. She had just stepped into the kitchen when she heard voices and looked around. They were coming from the greenhouse. 

Quietly, she made her way there, hiding out of sight as she peeked around the corner and saw her mother sitting with Professor Lupin much as they had the night she overheard them talking about her mother’s pregnancy.

“Seriously, Remus. I can handle a few dirty looks and rumors,” Aurora said chuckling.

“But you didn’t hear everything they were saying,” Lupin replied.

“It’s not the first time I’ve walked away from that life,” she said calmly. “I can handle this. I know I wasn’t so great before, but… I’ve got Ellie and this little one. That’s all I need to handle things.” 

“They know that I live here now. They’re… saying things about us, Rora,” he said. Aurora sat up in her chair.

“Does it bother you that much?” she asked softly, reaching across the table for his hand. “If it does, I can talk to Ellie. I know that she’s not yet ready for everyone to know that Sirius is her father, but I can convince her that it’s alright to tell the truth about this one.” Her free hand massaged her belly. “I don’t intend for it to be a secret forever. And all our friends know regardless.” Remus sighed heavily.

“I can’t help but worry about you,” he said. 

“Please. You’ve long known that I don’t give a damn about propriety,” Aurora said lightly, leaning back in her chair. “I thought that you didn’t as well.”

“For myself, no. I am a werewolf. The world already looks down on me,” he said. Ellie suddenly felt rather bad for him. She hadn’t really thought about what it must be like for him. She then felt guilt rush through her. She was likely the reason people were saying things about her mother and Lupin. 

She looked back to the two, watching Lupin study her mother.

“If it would help… perhaps we should marry,” he said finally. Aurora froze as she looked up at him. From the angle she was sitting, Ellie couldn’t see her face, though she was likely just as shocked as Ellie was. It wasn’t as though she disliked Professor Lupin. Rather the opposite. She just wasn’t sure how she felt about him becoming her stepfather. 

“Oh, Remus,” Aurora said softly. “As touched as I am… I couldn’t ask that of you.” 

“I know that with what I am, it’s not ideal, but… if it would help. And I’m here anyways. I wouldn’t even need to move into the manor-”

“No, Remus. As noble as your intentions are, I’m not going to marry you,” Aurora said firmly. “And it’s nothing to do with what you are - you know I don’t care about that. It’s because… I still love Sirius. And… I married once to save myself and my child. I don’t need to do that a second time. Especially when we’ll be just fine on our own.” 

Remus was silent a few moments before sighing.

“I suppose you’re right,” he admitted.

“Besides, we both know that you’re not in love with me,” Aurora continued. “I’m not in love with you either… we… it wasn’t all that long ago…” Remus nodded again. “In fact, I don’t think… I don’t think I have it in me to try again. Sirius was my great love. My only great love. I’m happy that I at least got to have that… It’s gifted me with a wonderful daughter and whatever this little one is going to be.” 

“You shouldn’t give up, Rora. There’s a chance that maybe someday… you might find someone else,” Remus said. Aurora chuckled.

“I honestly think that you should be taking your own advice,” she replied. Remus stared at her a moment. “Don’t think I don’t know what’s going on.” 

“Nothing is going on,” he replied quickly. “I… Rora, I have nothing to offer her…” 

“And yet just a few moments ago, you were proposing to me,” Aurora said lightly.

“That was different. I was trying to help,” Remus retorted. Aurora laughed again.

“Take my advice… give it a chance,” she said, sitting up again. “You don’t have to offer her anything. She seems willing to take you just as you are. And that goes a fair bit of a ways in my mind. Don’t let your condition stop you from happiness.” Remus was silent again, seeming to consider her advice. “Really, I think you need someone like her to help you lighten up. You’re far too serious. Always have been. Why on earth do you think you were so drawn to James and Sirius?” Remus chuckled softly.

“I suppose you make a point there,” he said. 

“I do often make good points,” Aurora said, her voice taking on a slightly haughty tone.

“As you were oft to remind Sirius,” Lupin said with a slight roll of his eyes, though there was a soft smile on his face.

“Don’t worry about us, Remus,” Aurora said, her tone turning a tidge serious. “We’re fine. Though I do appreciate the help.” 

“Anytime, Rora,” he replied. 

Ellie turned away and crept back towards her room, forgetting about the snacks for the time being. She knew that she would have to come clean to her mother tomorrow about her role in the rumours. But she couldn’t help but be a bit cheered. It seemed her mother was truly starting to heal.


	15. A Greenthistle Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellie comes clean about her role in the rumours and finally builds up the courage to open her present from Sirius. While she finds it touching, she still can't seem to bring herself to cry over him.

For a bit of time Christmas morning, Ellie forgot about what she had overheard before and threw herself into the festivities. They had gotten up early and settled in the den to open presents in their pyjamas while the staff worked on getting breakfast ready. It seemed there were a few more presents that year, likely her mother making up for the small amount the year before. Ellie couldn’t help but love all of them, and she could tell that her mother was beyond happy spoiling her only daughter. Even Professor Lupin seemed to be in the spirit. He smiled a bit more and had even gotten Ellie some new chaser gloves in congratulations for making the team. 

There were even a few for her new brother or sister. Mostly stuffed animals and blankets and such, but it seemed that Professor Lupin had fallen into his new role of uncle quite happily and spent more than necessary, if her mother’s reactions were anything to go by. Ellie knew that he wasn’t well off and wasn’t sure just what work he had gotten after Hogwarts, but he had shushed Aurora, telling her that he wanted to get a little something for the new baby.

But after the last present had been opened and Aurora asked what they should do with the rest of the day, Ellie felt the guilt slip back in. She put aside the books that her mother had gotten her and straightened her back as she cleared her throat. Aurora and Lupin stopped speaking, looking over at her with curious looks on their faces.

“I have a confession to make,” Ellie said, starting to feel a bit scared. She wasn’t sure how they would react, though experience told her she likely had nothing to be afraid of. Her mother was nothing if not kind and patient. She had said as much that night that she didn’t care about the rumours. But still, Ellie felt like she needed to come clean about her role in all of it.

“What is it, dear?” Aurora asked, starting to look a bit concerned.

“I know about the rumours, and well… I may have accidentally started them,” Ellie started.

“What rumours?” Aurora asked, putting her teacup down.

“The ones about you and Professor Lupin,” Ellie said. “It was… stupid really. Someone asked about the manor and then I slipped that Professor Lupin was here helping out and then… I sort of slipped about the baby… I’m really sorry. I didn’t know that people would take it that way…” 

A soft smile came over Aurora’s face as she glanced at Lupin and then back at Ellie.

“You’ve no need to feel worried or upset. It’s just a bit of talk. It’ll die down. It always does,” Aurora said.

“But… the way people were looking at you,” Ellie pushed. Aurora just waved her hand in the air.

“I’ve gotten looks before. This is nothing new,” Aurora said. Ellie frowned slightly. “Darling, I ran away from home and pureblood society to be with your father. Got my fair share of looks and rumours then. People will always talk. Let them say what they want.” 

Ellie took in her mother’s relaxed demeanor and then looked over at Professor Lupin. While he didn’t seem upset, he wasn’t nearly as comfortable with the talk as her mother appeared. 

“Really, I am sorry, Professor Lupin,” Ellie said, feeling she needed to apologize to him more than anything. “I know that with… being what you are… it’s not easy. And I’ve likely only made things worse.” Professor Lupin smiled.

“I assure you, it’s quite alright, Ellie,” he said. “I’ve long since developed a thick skin, so to speak. And I am grateful that you and your mother have welcomed me here.”

“If you two do decide to get married someday, I’m okay with it,” Ellie said, feeling that it needed to be said, though she wasn’t completely sure she meant it. But if it helped. Professor Lupin looked rather surprised, though Aurora began laughing. 

“Where would you get an idea like that?” Aurora asked, reaching for her teacup.

“I overheard you the other night,” Ellie said softly. Aurora sighed and cast a look towards Lupin that she didn’t see. 

“As touched as I am by Remus’ offer, we’re not getting married, Ellie,” she said softly. “I’m still much too in love with your father… even if he’s no longer with us. And I think we’re doing rather well on our own.” Ellie nodded and looked up at the two adults. “Come now. I think Mrs. Clark is likely finished with breakfast…”

~~~

Ellie sighed as she walked into her room later that night, finding herself rather exhausted. They had made cookies and spent the rest of the day playing games and reading. It really had been a nice Christmas. Cozy. Warm. It was like all their Christmases should have been. Her mother had laughed more than Ellie had seen in a long time, with her and Professor Lupin telling many stories about Sirius. 

It had been wonderful. Though there was definitely someone missing. Even though she still didn’t feel as though she really knew him, Ellie could tell something was missing. That Sirius should have been there. It had shocked her slightly at dinner when the thought came across her mind, though she could tell that her mother and Lupin felt the same. It was in the way their eyes would get misty all of sudden, before they looked away, discreetly wiping away the tears. 

Ellie walked over and looked out the window a bit before her eyes came to rest on her vanity. She walked over and opened the drawer, pulling out the package from Sirius and the letter that she still hadn’t opened. Walking over to her bed, she sat down as she opened the letter and started reading.

She supposed this was as good a time as any to open it.

_My Dearest Ellie,  
_ _I know that things are likely a bit unsettled right now. I’ve no idea how you would take the news, so thought I should write this just in case you didn’t take it so well and refused to speak to me._

_I know that it is mad. To find out that Evan wasn’t your father and that I am. I know that it will take time for you to get to know me. But I want you to know that from the moment I found out about you, I have loved you. And I already see you as my little girl. I wish now that I had not reacted so rashly before. If I had known what I would be giving up - a life with you and your mother - I would not have rushed out after Pettigrew as I did._

_But I didn’t know. And I did what I did. And lost the chance to get to know you sooner. I cannot make up for the many years that we’ve been apart, but I will certainly try._

_Your mother has told me so much about you. So much that I feel as though I know you, in a way. And I am proud of the young witch that you are becoming. Though I do hope that you take more after your mother than myself._

_I love you, Ellie. And I hope that with time, you can come to love me as well. Whenever you wear this gift, I hope that you will think of me, your father, and know that you are always on my mind and nothing will ever stop me from being there for you._

_Love, Your Father,  
Sirius_

Ellie put the letter aside, already feeling a stir of something in her. She looked at the package and then quickly unwrapped it, revealing a small, velvet box. Pulling it open, she gasped softly as she saw the silver charm bracelet nestled inside. She reached out and gently touched a large dog, then a broom. There were a few others there, all of them invoking some thought of Sirius.

Trembling, Ellie put it aside and reached for the letter again, reading it through a second and then third time. This was what she had always wanted in a father. A man who loved her. Was proud of her. Who wanted nothing more than the opportunity to get to know her and likely teach her all sorts of things.

A smile came across her face, but then just as quickly it was gone. Where once there was a deep happiness, a sharp pain had started. She should have known that this would come. Just as she was starting to understand him. Feel as though he really were her father, she had to remember that he was gone.

Fate had taken away Ellie’s chance at having a truly loving father. And before she had even realized that just who he was.

Starting to gasp slightly, Ellie wrapped her arms around herself as the pain increased, yet still no tears came. It wasn’t fair. And just as the pain started, so did the anger. How dare he be taken from her before she got the chance to know him? To hug him. To learn everything that he could teach her about life and such. It was so incredibly unfair. And to think that the others - they got the chance to know him. Her mother had been so happy finally reunited with her only love and then he was gone. Harry even got the chance, and now he avoided her like the bloody plague. Ginny had said it was because he took his loss hard. 

Sirius Black was her father, not his, so how dare he act like he had more of a right to be upset about his death?

“Ellie?”

She looked up, seeing her mother standing in her doorway, a concerned look on her face.

“It’s not fair, Mum,” she said glumly, looking back down at the package. Aurora quickly made her way to Ellie’s side, wrapping her arms around her.

“I know, my darling. It isn’t fair. God knows I’ve spent many a time shouting the same thing at the ceiling,” she said softly. She looked over, seeing the letter and open box. 

“And yet… even now… I still can’t bring myself to cry over him. Is something wrong with me?” Ellie asked.

“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. It’s… I can understand why. You didn’t get the chance to know him,” Aurora said. 

“Why was it him that died? Why couldn’t it have been someone else? Or even… _him_ ,” Ellie continued, glaring at her duvet.

“Oh, dear… that is a question I don’t have the answer to,” Aurora breathed, rubbing Ellie’s back. “Merlin knows I wish it had been different. That Sirius hadn’t died, but… there was nothing any of us could do… It happened so quickly…”

“How did it happen? How was it you were there?” Ellie asked. Aurora took a deep breath and slowly let it out before speaking.

“I had gone to see Mr. Bellweather to finalize all the documents. We got word - Tonks and I – about what was happening and set out right away. The fight was already going when we got there. It was… chaos… Sirius and I did want we could to protect the students, but then… I got caught up dueling with Evan and he was fighting his cousin - Bellatrix,” she said, her voice growing softer. “I had just taken care of Evan when I turned and looked… they were near the veil and… it was… I was trying to get there, but… she hit him with a curse… and he fell through the veil…”

“Just like that?” Ellie asked.

“Yes… like that,” Aurora murmured. Ellie looked up, seeing the tears streaming down her mother’s face. “I know that it’s hard. And it’s going to hurt. Sometimes it will hurt so very badly, but… we cannot give up. He wouldn’t want us to.”

“Not with this one on the way,” Ellie said, patting her mother’s belly. Aurora chuckled.

“Especially not with this one on the way,” she said, placing her hand over Ellie’s. “We can get through this, Ellie. The three of us. We don’t need anyone else.”

“I know… but part of me wishes that he could have been here,” Ellie said. Aurora kissed the side of her head.

“I do as well,” Aurora replied. “Have you still been reading his journals?”

“Yea, though… he really was complicated, wasn’t he?” Ellie said. Aurora chuckled.

“Sirius had his vices and virtues. Like all of us,” she said. “But I wouldn’t have traded any part of him.” She reached down for the bracelet. “It really is beautiful.” 

“I’ll wear it always,” Ellie said. 

“He would like that,” Aurora said. She then kissed Ellie again. “It’s been a long day. You should get some rest.” Ellie nodded as her mother stood and started towards the door.

“Thanks, Mum… for everything,” Ellie called out. Aurora stopped and smiled over at her.

“You can always come to me if you want to talk,” she replied. Ellie nodded as Aurora turned and left, shutting the door quietly behind her. Sighing, Ellie picked up the letter and laid back on her pillows, settling in to read it again.


	16. The Power of Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A moment with Seamus and Sirius' journals help Ellie to appreciate just how much she needs her friends.

Ellie sighed as she walked into her room and found her trunk at the end of her bed. She would need to unpack, but the journey back from Greenthistle Manor had tired her out. There had been many things on her mind - so much so that she had sat by herself while the others in the DA clamored together in a couple other compartments. It wasn’t so much that she didn’t want to see them, but more that she needed a bit more time to process everything she had learned over the Christmas holidays. 

Not to mention, she was so sure that she would finally cry about losing Sirius. It had felt so close over the holidays and yet she still couldn’t. She was starting to think there really was something wrong with her.

After that night, she had spent the rest of the break helping her mother pick out colors and such for the new nursery. Professor Lupin had helped as well, though he disappeared for part of the holiday, saying he had some business. Ellie wondered if he was going to see Harry, or perhaps this woman that she had overheard him speaking to her mother about. She was fairly sure that it was Tonks, seeing how much the auror stopped by during the break. And the looks she sent Professor Lupin.

But now she was back at school and supposed it was time to focus on work and quidditch. Perhaps she would finally figure out a way to get Harry to speak to her as well. She still wasn’t sure what she had done to cause him to be sore with her, but she was determined to figure it out before summer.

“There you are! We couldn’t find you on the train,” Meredith said as she and Moira ran into the room. The two girls dashed over and hugged Ellie. 

“Have a good holiday?” Moira asked. Ellie nodded and smiled at the two. Though her smile faded slightly when the twins walked it, the two of them giving her dirty looks. 

“Got more work done on the nursery,” Ellie said, turning to her trunk. 

“Ooo, that’s lovely! From your mum?” Meredith asked, touching the bracelet on her wrist.

“Oh… ehm… yea,” Ellie said quickly, pulling her sleeve down to cover it. Meredith and Moira shared a curious look, the both of them suspecting that it hadn’t actually been from her mother. But they weren’t about to say anything in front of the twins.

“So, you worked on the nursery for the little bastard, did you?” Lila said haughtily. Ellie froze, her anger flaring through her. The twins could say what they want about her, but she would be damned if she let them get away with insulting her new brother or sister.

“Oh, shut it,” Ellie spat. “Don’t you have anything better to do than to insult an innocent baby.”

“So sure about that? It’s probably part werewolf. Which I suppose isn’t all that much better than a death eater,” Laura said. Ellie narrowed her eyes at them. 

“I honestly don’t understand why you’re even here, Selwyn. Shouldn’t you have moved to Slytherin after your father was arrested?” Lila added.

“I’m not nor will I ever be his daughter or a Slytherin,” Ellie declared.

“That so? You know most of the house doesn’t even want you here. Thinks you’ll jinx them in their sleep,” Laura said.

“That’s not true!” Meredith shouted. “We all know that Ellie isn’t like that! She was in bloody DA last year. What were you two doing then? Oh right, cowering here in the room.” Laura and Lila glared at her. 

“Yea, I think it’s actually you two that no one wants around,” Moira added. 

“Please,” Lila said, waving her hand. “You should have heard what Prentiss and Major were saying on the train. No one really trusts you, Selwyn. Never will.” Ellie blinked, feeling hot tears fill her eyes. She was _this_ close to telling the truth. To shouting that she was Sirius Black’s daughter and not the daughter of a death eater. But something stopped her. Instead she just spun around on her heels and marched out of the room, trying not to pay attention to the fact that the twins were now laughing.

She didn’t stop until she dropped into her favorite chair and pulled her legs up. She looked down at the charm bracelet, gently touching it. Why hadn’t she been able to say it? That Sirius Black was her father? She had felt a sort of connection with him over the break, but for some reason, she couldn’t herself to say the words. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that she still couldn’t bring herself to cry over him.

“Hey, Selwyn. Good Christmas?” 

She looked up, seeing Seamus walking towards her. His smile fell as he took in the few tears that had fallen down her cheeks.

“Yea, it was good,” she said, quickly wiping them away.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, moving to sit next to her. 

“Just… the Walker twins,” she said. “Apparently some of the others still aren’t keen on me… with everything.” 

“About your dad?” he asked. She nodded. “It’s bollocks. Don’t listen to them.” 

“Easier said than done,” she said, ruefully, looking back down at her bracelet again.

“I mean it. Don’t listen to them. Your friends know the truth. And if you’ve got your friends, isn’t that what matters most?” he continued. Ellie looked up at him, noticing the small smile on his face. “And you’ve got DA. We’re all friends too. Always will be.” 

She couldn’t help as her lips tugged up into a small smile. 

“There you go,” Seamus said, his smile growing. “Seriously. Just ignore them. They’re a bunch of gits.” Ellie nodded. “What did you get up to over the break?”

“Just spent time at home. Helped Mum with the nursery,” she said. “Opened presents and such. Got a bit of time on the pitch. You?”

“Spent some of the time with Mam’s side and the other with Dad’s side. Can’t really get all of them together considering,” he said, leaning back in his chair. 

“Right,” Ellie said, remembering that he was half blood. She wondered what it was like to have such a large part of your family muggle. She hadn’t spent much time around muggles, being pureblood and all. She couldn’t imagine having to hide a rather large part of who you were from most of your family. “What’s it like?” 

Seamus stared at her a moment, amused. 

“Being part muggle?” he asked. She nodded. 

“Having so much family that’s muggle and unable to know what you are,” she added. He shrugged.

“It’s not so bad. You get used to it after a while,” he said. “They think I’m at some posh boarding school. Though if only they knew the truth.”

“That magic exists?” Ellie asked, her eyes lighting up slightly. He nodded and chuckled. “Sure, it must be easier not having to worry about that…”

“Suppose that is a good thing about being pureblood… though… wasn’t all fun,” she said, frowning slightly as she thought back to her life with Evan Selwyn. It had been horrible most of the time, though there were some good memories. Namely when her mother did her best to hide most of the horrible things he had said and done from her. 

“Sorry… nearly forgot,” he said, frowning slightly. Ellie shook her head and smiled. 

“It’s fine. It’s over,” she said, hugging her legs. 

“Suppose it’s good that he’s locked up and all,” Seamus said awkwardly. Ellie glanced down at her bracelet. 

“Yea,” she said. 

“Well, if you need to talk or anything… you can always find me,” he said, standing. 

“Thanks,” she said. He nodded and walked over to Dean. Ellie sighed and leaned back in the chair, seeing Ginny start towards her. She took a deep breath and prepared for a long talk with her best friend.

“Who is it I need to jinx?” Ginny asked, sitting down next to her.

“No one,” Ellie said. “Just the twins being their horrible selves.” Ginny narrowed her eyes and glanced towards the stairs to the girls’ dorms. “Sure Meredith and Moira are giving them the riot act about now.” 

“I seriously don’t understand them,” Ginny said, turning to look at her again. She then glanced down and saw the bracelet. “This from your mum?”

“Ehm, no… it’s from… him,” she said, looking down at it. “He got it for my birthday but couldn’t bring myself to open it until now.” Ginny leaned closer, smiling as she saw the charms. “It’s supposed to remind me of him…”

“I can see how,” Ginny said, straightening. “You talk to your mum more?” Ellie nodded.

“She and Professor Lupin had a lot of stories for me,” she said, touching the bracelet. “Loads. It was like the flood gates had opened.”

“Do you feel like you understand him more?” Ginny asked softly. Ellie looked up at her.

“Yea, I mean… I’m… I do feel a bit more of a connection with him, but… I get angry sometimes when I think about it. That he had to die… but I can’t seem to bring myself to cry,” she said quietly. 

“Sure it’ll come,” Ginny said.

“It does hurt sometimes… when I think about how I’ll never get to… well… yea,” Ellie said.

“Well… you know you have me to listen if you ever need to vent or talk about it,” she said. “It’s what friends do and all.” Ellie smiled appreciatively at her.

“I know. Just… some things I reckon I should figure out myself,” she replied. 

“Just don’t bottle it up. Nothing good ever comes from that,” Ginny said, casting a worried glance towards Harry.

“Right,” Ellie said, following her gaze. “I won’t.”

~~~

Ellie waited until her roommates were asleep before she pulled the journals out from under her bed and crept down to the common room, wrapped in a quilt. She couldn’t sleep and thought perhaps some reading might help. Once settled on the big sofa in front of the fireplace, she grabbed the first journal and opened it.

_I’m not sure just why Remus still thinks we’ll abandon him. I blame it on the full moon that just passed. He always gets a bit testier during those times. However, my mind has been made up. For years. No matter what, I’ll always stand by his side. He is a good person and a good friend, and he deserves to know that none of us will ever abandon him. What’s more, we’ll always be there to stand up for him._

_He doesn’t want everyone else to know about his condition. Which I understand. I mean, even though it doesn’t bother me, I’ve heard about how other werewolves are treated. He’s worried that once we’re out of school he’ll never get a job and will have to live on the street or something. No matter how many times James and I have told him that we would never let that happen. He’ll always have a place with us. I mean, we bloody studied for years to become animagus just so he wouldn’t have to be alone on the full moon. Even Peter finally got it, though I nearly thought he wouldn’t._

_But mates stand by each other. That’s just what they do. No matter what. And that’s just what I intend to do._

Ellie sat up and looked to the flames of the fire, thinking it over. She couldn’t help as her thoughts turned to her friends. No matter what, they had always stood by her. Even though a lot of them didn’t know the full truth and still thought she was the daughter of Evan Selwyn, they still stood up for her when others were being mean. Never doubted her. 

She snuggled up more under the quilt, deciding that wasn’t such a bad thing. Rather a wonderful thing. Though she couldn’t help but feel like she needed to tell them at some point. Probably before the baby came just so she could squash whatever rumours were going around about her mother and Professor Lupin. She still felt a bit odd about that even though they had both insisted that there was nothing between them and unlikely to ever be anything between them. 

Though as the holiday had gone on, Ellie couldn’t help but feel like things were alright with Professor Lupin around. She hadn’t been that close to him when he taught at Hogwarts, but they had gotten a fair bit close with him living in the guest cottage and constantly being around the manor. She wondered if her mother and Sirius had talked about him. If perhaps her mother was carrying on Sirius’ promise to always look out for his friend. It sounded like something she would do, though Ellie was beginning to think that she too felt a certain loyalty towards the former professor. 

Almost without noticing, Ellie’s eyes began to droop a bit as she leaned over. She had only intended to rest her eyes a bit, but before she knew it, she was fast asleep. 

She was so sound asleep that she didn’t hear anyone come down the stairs or stop in front of her. Harry frowned as he took in the peaceful look on her face and the glint of the bracelet on her wrist. He then reached down and picked up one of the books, glancing through it. He then stopped, tempted to take it back up to his room, though he knew that Ellie would know immediately it was missing.

He then glanced around the common room before settling into a nearby chair, starting to read. He’d only read a bit and then put it back before she woke up. She wouldn’t have to know. 


	17. Old Grudges Die Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another interaction with Snape leads to Ellie's secret coming out to yet one more person and it's someone that she wasn't sure she wanted to know. Though she finally builds up the courage to offer Harry an olive branch, though she still doesn't understand just what she did to upset him in the first place.

Ellie strained to keep from rolling her eyes for the 50th time in defense against the dark arts. Apparently, Snape had doubled down on his treatment of her and had been getting worse since she returned for second term. It had been nearly a month now and even Moira and Meredith were commenting on it, wondering just why he kept singling Ellie out in class. She had just mumbled something about an old grudge with her father and left it at that. It was technically the truth, though she still hadn’t brought herself to tell them the full truth. That it had nothing to do with Evan Selwyn and everything to do with Sirius Black. 

“Five points from Gryffindor for that abysmal display,” Snape said, dismissing Ellie back to her seat. Though rather than turn around and sit down as she probably should have done, she glared at him.

“That’s not fair! I did it correctly!” she shouted before she could think. The class went silent, all watching in anticipation. The Slytherins were starting to grin, knowing that detention was likely coming, possibly more points deducted. Most the Gryffindors were ready to back Ellie up while the Walker twins looked positively smug. The Ravenclaws weren’t sure what to expect while the Hufflepuffs glanced around nervously. 

Snape whirled around, narrowing his eyes at her.

“It seems arrogance is a familial trait. Push me further and I will give you detention,” he hissed. 

“Better that than forever taking your grudges out against people who had nothing to do with them,” Ellie retorted. Snape was silent a moment before glancing around the classroom. 

“Stay after class, Ms. _Selwyn_ ,” he replied before returning to his desk. She took a deep breath, readying herself for another retort before he cut her off. “After class.” 

Huffing, Ellie returned to her seat next to Dennis Creevy, still glaring at the professor.

“For what it’s worth, I thought you were right,” he whispered to her.

“Thanks,” she said, though it didn’t make her feel all that much better. 

Snape continued on with his lesson while Ellie angrily took notes. She could understand why he would still be angry, but what she didn’t understand was just why it was any of her fault. It wasn’t like she was the one who sent him after Professor Lupin. And that was certainly nothing she would do, though her mother kept telling her she was like Sirius in a lot of ways. Ellie could see some of it, but she most definitely didn’t think of herself as arrogant and foolhardy. She was confident in her abilities, yes, but there was a large difference between confidence and arrogance in her mind.

Once class was finished, Ellie packed up her bag and waited at her desk while everyone else filed out, Moira and Meredith shooting her encouraging smiles. Once the classroom was empty, Snape stalked up to her desk.

“Do you intend to make a habit of speaking out of turn?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Do you intend on continuing to unfairly deduct points?” Ellie replied. “I did the spell correctly. And well.”

“That is your opinion. And not one that I share,” he retorted.

“Is that also why my marks have gotten lower this year?” she asked. “Because you hold some stupid grudge against my… Sirius Black?”

“I mark how I see fit. If you do not like them then perhaps you should try harder,” Snape said.

“I work hard for my marks!” Ellie shouted back. “This is all about him!”

“The only way this is about Sirius Black is that you are beginning to exhibit more of his less than stellar qualities. Such as speaking out of turn,” Snape said.

“No, this is because you hate him and you’re taking it out on me!” Ellie shouted, jumping up from her desk. “I’m also half Greenthistle. You seem to forget that. Do you hate my mother too?”

“No, I do not. Though I do not understand her desire to further procreate with that imbecile,” Snape said. Ellie’s eyes widened.

“My mother and Sirius loved each other! And despite what you say, I know that he was a brave man! HE GAVE UP HIS LIFE TO SAVE OTHERS! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE BESIDES SLITHER AROUND IN YOUR DUNGEON!” Ellie shouted, feeling the anger pour through her. She wasn’t quite sure what had come over her, but she was tired of her professor taking out his hatred on her. And making snide comments about her parents. 

Enough was enough.

“Detention, Ms. Selwyn. For a week. I hope that is enough to teach you to watch your mouth,” he said, turning to walk into his office. Ellie just glared after her, feeling her chest heave as she struggled to breath, she was so angry.

Finally, she turned and grabbed her things, then stomped out of the classroom. She had been determined to deal with this on her own, but this was too far. Perhaps it was time to write about it to her mother or tell McGonagall. Surely, she could do something about it. Speak with him or warn him or something. 

Part of her wished she could talk to Harry and ask how he dealt with it, but she knew that he’d never be anywhere remotely close to her save for the quidditch pitch. And this was a conversation she most definitely didn’t want to have in front of others.

“Selwyn… what was that?”

Ellie stopped and turned slightly, seeing a confused Seamus standing there. How long had he been outside the classroom?

“I… had a disagreement with Snape,” she said. 

“Yea, I just came out of transfiguration and heard the others say you got called to stay behind. Thought I’d wait and give you a cheering up, but… what was that about Sirius Black?” he asked, stepping towards her. Ellie looked around the hallway, thankful that it was unusually empty. She swallowed and looked back at him.

“You heard that?” she asked. He nodded and glanced towards the room and then back at her.

“Is he… is Sirius Black your father?” he asked softly. Ellie nodded, blinking furiously to keep from crying. She did not want to cry in front of him. “How long have you known?”

“Since… since he died,” she said, her voice small. “He’s… he and my mum were engaged before… they got back together when she went into hiding… and, well… the baby…” Seamus seemed stunned beyond words for a few moments. 

“You’ve kept this to yourself this whole time?” he asked. Ellie nodded.

“I mean… it’s no one’s business, to be honest. And I’m still trying to understand it,” she said. “Unfortunately, some others know about it… like Snape. Apparently, there’s bad blood there, though I don’t understand why he’s taking it out on me.”

“Certainly, makes more sense… he’s had it out for Harry since he started Hogwarts because of something with his dad… does Harry know?” Seamus asked. Ellie nodded again.

“Why else do you think he’s been avoiding me all year?” she asked, her voice cracking. In that moment, it was as though something snapped inside her and the tears began pouring down her cheeks. She was angry at Snape for treating her poorly for something she didn’t do. She was frustrated that Harry - the one person she wanted to talk to about this more than anything - still refused to speak with her. Sure she had Ginny to talk to, but sometimes that wasn’t enough. In that moment, the flood gates opened as she began to cry hot, angry tears.

It just wasn’t fair. 

Seamus looked around the hallway, seeming unsure of just what to do with the wailing fourth year. But he knew that she must have been struggling with a lot all year. It was a rather big secret to keep, after all. Not to mention with some of the other students giving her a hard time about her other father being in Azkaban for being a death eater. Seamus shuffled over to her and awkwardly put his arms around her thin shoulders, patting her lightly on the back.

“It’s alright, S-Ellie,” he said, his voice a bit unsure.

“No, it’s not!” she wailed, burying her face in his shirt. Propriety be damned. If she wanted to have a good cry, then she was very well going to do it right now. Seamus just looked down at her and gulped slightly before looking around, praying that one of their friends would walk by so he could pass her off to them. It wasn’t as though he didn’t want to help - he did. But he just wasn’t sure what to do with a sobbing girl. How did you make them stop?

“I mean… you don’t have to worry about me saying anything. If you don’t want the others to know, I won’t tell,” he said. Ellie stopped crying for a moment, looking up at him.

“You won’t?” she asked. He smiled crookedly and shook his head no. “That’s good.” She then realized that she was gripping his shirt, which was now covered in her snot and tears. Jumping back slightly, she quickly pulled out her wand and did a cleaning spell. “I’m sorry… I don’t know what came over me.” 

“Dare say most people would cry after getting detention from Snape,” he said with a small laugh. “From what I overheard, he was brutal. And well… not like you’ve had the easiest year…” 

Ellie nodded as she turned and started walking down the hallway, Seamus easily keeping up with her. 

“Though… I do feel a bit better,” she said, glancing at him as her cheeks turned slightly pink. 

“I suppose I get why you don’t want to tell anyone, but… you know you can tell folks in DA,” Seamus said. 

“I did tell some of the others about him and Mum being together… but only Ginny knows the full truth. And well, Ron, Hermione and Harry,” she said. “McGonagall, Dumbledore, and Snape, as well…”

“And now me,” Seamus said. Ellie nodded. It seemed with more people knowing, she might as well just tell everyone the truth. But something still stopped her. It wasn’t that she cared what people said or thought about her after finding out she was the daughter of Sirius Black - he had been exonerated. But she wasn’t ready to share it with everyone else just yet. She was still trying to understand him as it was, and she didn’t need loads of people asking her loads of questions at the moment. “I meant it. I won’t tell anyone. Not even Dean.” 

“Thanks, Finnegan,” she said, smiling at him.

“Anytime, Ellie,” he said. “I’ve got to get to class. Are you alright to get back to the common room?” Ellie nodded. “See you later.” He then loped off down the hallway, offering her another smile over his shoulder. Ellie waved in return and then rubbed her cheeks. She then stopped as the realization hit her.

Seamus had called her Ellie. Twice.

~~~

Ellie settled into her favorite chair later that night after she had finished her homework. Ginny had demanded the full story after overhearing the altered version Ellie had told Meredith and Moira. She then told Ellie that she should say something to McGonagall, though Ellie wondered out loud just what good it would do. She _had_ talked back to a professor - even if they all thought it justified, she didn’t think that she could get out of detention regardless. 

She then said that she wanted some time alone and had retreated to her chair with another of Sirius’ journals, planning to tell anyone that bothered her that it was just another novel. Thankfully everyone had given her a wide berth and left her alone, though she had noticed Harry studying her a bit. She hoped that Seamus wouldn’t say anything to him. They were friends and in the same year and she worried that Seamus would take it upon himself to try and get them to talk. 

Thankfully, he was with Dean and Ginny, seemingly not about to step in. 

Ellie turned a page and stopped at an entry, hoping there was something in there that would help cheer her up.

_Bloody, stupid Slytherins. I wish they would all just leave us alone. Caught Snape calling Aurora a blood traitor in the great hall as she walked by and nearly wanted to throttle him, though she stopped me, saying it wasn’t worth it. I suppose she’s right - no matter what Snivellus tries to get in good with Selwyn and his lot, nothing seems to help. I suppose there is that. Besides, I suppose there are worse things they could say than being a blood traitor. I know I don’t mind it. Aurora doesn’t seem to as well. Nor the others. Though anytime one of them goes after Evans, James loses it. Mudblood is a lot worse than blood traitor._

Ellie frowned slightly as she turned the page, not wanting to read more about that. It was bad enough that she was still getting called names here and there. Though she felt her connection with Sirius grow a bit stronger.

_What on earth did I do to deserve someone like Aurora? Every day she continues to date me, I wonder if she’s some sort of angel. She must be to have the patience to deal with me. And James. And the others. Though she’s always gotten along with Remus. She said it was because he never tried to prank or tease her like James and I always did. But still, every time I get in trouble or detention, I worry that that’ll be the time that she wizens up and decides to dump my sorry arse. So much so, that I’ve actually tried to stop. Granted that’s hard to do when your best mate is James Potter. And we do have a reputation to uphold._

_But she found out about the werewolf prank today and I thought for sure that she was going to dump me. I had tried to keep that from her - it was really stupid, I see that now. Granted part of me still thinks Snape deserved it to an extent. She yelled at me for a good hour over it. And then I waited, expecting her to say she could never be with someone who did something like that. But she just walked off. Still thought for sure that would be it. Then an hour later, she came back up and demanded that I go apologize. And if she ever hears of me doing something like that again, she wouldn’t hesitate to drop me. I believed her. Which is why I swallowed my pride and apologized. The look of triumph on his stupid face made me want to vomit or punch him. But more than Aurora threatening to leave me for it, I realized that it was sort of the right thing to do. Even if I didn’t really want to do it._

_The things we do for the women we love._

Ellie stopped reading as she stared off into space for a bit, thinking over what she had just read. From everything she had read of him in school told her that apologizing was not something that came easy to Sirius Black. It seemed that he would never cease to surprise her at least. 

Ellie glanced down at the journal and then across the room, seeing Harry bent over a book. She felt a twinge of guilt. He might like to read the journals, she couldn’t help but think. She looked down at the book in her hand and then over at some of the others in her bag. Taking a deep breath, she reached down and grabbed one of the ones she had finished reading, then stood from her chair.

She made her way across the room and then tossed the book on the table in front of him, causing him to jump slightly as he looked up at her. She could feel Hermione and Ron giving her curious looks from his side. 

“Thought you might like to read that. I’ve got more if you want them,” she said. She then turned and walked back to her chair, curling up in it before he could say anything to her. She glanced up before starting to read again, seeing him open the book. His eyes went wide as he read the front and then looked up at her. Ellie just offered him a nod and then looked back down.

Perhaps this would be the olive branch that they needed.


	18. The Ties That Bind Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected letter brings Evan Selwyn back into Ellie's life.

A couple weeks later, Ellie sat at the Gryffindor table during breakfast, rubbing her eyes slightly. She had been up working on homework fairly late and then read more of Sirius’ journal. She had nearly finished the ones her mother had given her and sent off an owl that morning, asking if there were more. She didn’t know if he had kept up with it once he left school, but she hoped that he had and there was more to learn about him.

She couldn’t help but glance down the table towards Seamus, who was sitting on the other side of Dean. She blushed slightly as he glanced her way and she turned her attention back to her food. He hadn’t said anything, as he promised, but she couldn’t help but feel slightly shy around him after he had called her by her first name. 

Being just like any other girl at the age of 14, her mind was whirling around what this meant. Did he now consider her a close friend? Or did he actually like her more than that? That was slightly preposterous, she had to think. There was no way he’d be interested in a fourth year. Perhaps it was because he had just found out the truth about her father and calling her Selwyn felt strange. Or he hadn’t known what to call her, so went with her first name. Perhaps that was it and she was placing way more importance on the action than was actually necessary. 

An owl swooped down and dropped a letter in front of her, causing her to jump and bringing her out of her musings over the ordeal. That was odd. She hadn’t thought there was nearly enough time for her mother to respond. Who else could possibly be writing her?

Was it Lupin? Was something wrong with her mother or the baby?

“What’s that?” Ginny asked. Ellie just blinked and reached for it, not recognizing the handwriting as her worry started to build. 

“Dunno,” she said, opening it. It had an unfamiliar seal as well. She pulled out the letter, glancing over it before she read the name at the bottom. Immediately, she threw it back down on the table, not wanting to touch it, the color draining from her face.

“Ellie? What is it?” Ginny asked softly.

“It’s from him,” she whispered, still staring at it. 

“You mean… _him_?” Ginny asked, her eyes widening as she looked back at the parchment. Ellie nodded, seeing that Dean and Seamus now watching her, as were Moira and Meredith from across the table. “I didn’t know they could even write from… _there_ …”

“Me neither,” Ellie said, grabbing the letter and shoving it into her bag as she swallowed, suddenly losing her appetite and wondering if she could find a way to get out of her first class that morning. Before anyone could say anything, she was on her feet and moving towards the entrance to the hall, gathering more attention than she cared to. 

“Ellie,” Ginny said, catching up to her. 

“Not now,” Ellie said. Ginny grabbed her arm and stopped her. Ellie looked over at her and then around at the other students nervously, knowing they were making a bit of a scene.

“Follow me,” Ginny said, starting to lead her away. Ellie didn’t say anything as they made their way through the castle. It didn’t take long for her to realize where they were going. Finally, they came to a stop in front of an expansive of wall, watching as a large door appeared. Ginny then quickly pushed it open and they walked into the Room of Requirement. It appeared much differently than when they used it for DA, now with several large, comfy sofas scattered about. Ginny led Ellie over to one and pulled her down to sit. “There. Now you can read it without anyone watching.”

“But what about class?” Ellie asked, still not ready to pull the letter out of her bag.

“We can talk to McGonagall about it. I’m sure she’ll understand and give us a pass. For this, anyway,” Ginny said, smiling reassuringly. Ellie nodded and took a deep breath, staring at her bag a few moments before reaching in and pulling the crumpled letter out.

She smoothed it out and began reading.

_Dear Elliana,  
_ _I am not sure if you will receive this letter - forgive the state of it, I do not have long to write it before I am taken from the Ministry to Azkaban, but it is of the utmost importance that you read it._

_I am sure by now you likely know the truth. I am not your birth father. But I would hope that you might retain some sort of loyalty towards me. I did agree to raise you knowing that you were not mine. Even came to love you._

Ellie stopped reading for a moment, snorting.

“Like hell he loved me,” she muttered. “Had a funny way of showing it.” Ginny didn’t say anything, just sat there watching Ellie. She sighed and started reading again.

_I understand why you may wish to distance yourself from me now. Rather ghastly business, being arrested, though there is an explanation for that. I am also sure that your mother has wasted no time filling your head with many stories. But know this, there are many things that you do not know or understand. And many things that your mother may hide or try to cover. Do not trust everything that she says as fact. She is most obstinately loyal to people that she should not be loyal to…_

“It’s as though he thinks me an idiot,” Ellie said, dropping the letter into her lap a second time.

“He is in Azkaban. Perhaps he’s already gone mad?” Ginny suggested. Ellie looked at her, frowning. 

“Said he wrote this before they locked him up,” she said. “Though to be honest, I’m not sure just why he’d want to keep any sort of connection with me. Now that I know the truth, looking back, he barely tolerated me.” 

“He’s not a good man, Ellie,” Ginny reminded her.

“I know,” Ellie said, looking back to the letter and picking it up, determined to just get through it. Though his line about her mother keeping things from her definitely poked at a tender spot. She had felt as much before, but surely her mother had come clean to her about everything at this point.

_I did love you, though you might choose not to believe it. Regardless of the fact that you were fathered by criminal, I came to see you as my own. You are Elliana Selwyn. A pureblood and now the heir to not only the Greenthistle name, but everything of the Selwyns. Never forget who you are._

_As such, I knew that I must warn you about your mother. She has kept a great many things from you. Dangerous things. Things that you should not be involved with. No good will come from it. While I understand that it is in your Gryffindor nature to rush into things without thinking them through, you must stop and ponder. Times of turmoil are coming and though you are not my daughter, I do not wish any harm to come to you. Choose your side wisely, Elliana._

_Sincerely,  
_ _Your Father_

Ellie gulped as she read over the letter again, not fully understanding it. He had no claim on her or her mother anymore - no power whatsoever - so why would he write such things? More than that, why would he warn her of darker times to come. They all knew as much. He Who Must Not Be Named was still out there somewhere. Likely lying in wait. 

Did he perhaps actually have some sort of affection for her after all?

Ellie handed the letter to Ginny, allowing her to read through it again as she sat back on the sofa, thinking everything over.

“He’s just messing with your head,” Ginny finally said, handing the letter back to her. “Didn’t you say that’s all he did with your mother?” Ellie nodded, looking at the letter. “I say burn it and forget that you ever read it.”

“Suppose,” Ellie murmured.

“Seriously, Ellie. Your mum has been incredibly open and honest with you. Don’t listen to anything that he says. He is locked up in Azkaban for the attack on the Ministry. He was part of a group that used Harry to try and get something from there,” Ginny continued. Ellie looked up at her. “What kind of person helps manipulate a 15-year-old just to break into the Ministry?” She supposed Ginny had a point. And she wasn’t completely convinced that Evan Selwyn was just part of the mission.

Manipulation was something he was rather proficient in. It wouldn’t have surprised her in the least if he had played a larger part in all that. 

Sighing, Ellie put the letter back in her bag and then sat it on the floor, pulling her legs up to her chest and resting her chin on her knees.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ginny asked. Ellie glanced at her and then back down on the floor.

“Yea, but not right now,” she said, still feeling unsettled about the fact that he had even reached out to her. Ginny nodded and then hugged her.

“Stay as long as you need. I’ll go inform Professor McGonagall and take care of that for you,” she said softly. Ellie smiled slightly at her.

“Thanks, Gin.”

~~~

Ellie sat at the table, staring at her book but not really reading later that night. She ended up missed her classes before lunch, though McGonagall had been sympathetic and gathered her assignments for her. She had even told Ellie that she didn’t need to worry about detention that night, likely in a state after receiving the letter. Ellie wasn’t keen on finding out just how displeased Snape was going to be about that but was grateful for the night off.

She had gone to her afternoon class then spent the rest of her free time before supper catching up on what she had missed. She had nearly skipped out on that, not wanting to be in the Great Hall, but Ginny had dragged her down there anyway and then she, Dean and the others had gone out of their way to cheer her up. Even Seamus tried, though Ellie could tell things were still awkward there. 

“Alright?” 

She looked up, seeing Seamus standing next to her, his hands in his pockets. 

“Ehm… yea. Just getting caught up,” she said, sitting up and turning to face him. She could already feel her cheeks heating up. He nodded.

“Ginny said that you got some disturbing news and all… just wanted to make sure that you were okay,” he said, starting to rub the back of his neck. 

“Oh, yea…” Ellie said. “Ehm… got a letter from Azkaban.” Seamus’ eyes widened.

“They allow letters?” he asked. Ellie shrugged. 

“Wrote it before they locked him up,” she said. He nodded again. “But… it’s fine. I’m fine.” 

“You sure?” he asked, the awkwardness falling away a bit as a genuine look of concern came over his face. Ellie gave him a tight smile. 

“Yea, don’t worry about me,” she said lightly. 

“Okay. Guess I’ll let you get back to it,” he said. He then turned and walked over to another table, sitting next to Dean, who glanced at her and then leaned towards him. On the other side of the table, Harry sat with Hermione and Ron, though he was closely studying her rather than listening to whatever Hermione was telling him. She turned back to her books and forced herself to focus. Wouldn’t do to fall behind. 

After finally finishing, she found she still wanted to be alone, so gathered up her things and walked over to her favorite chair, sitting down in it and pulling out the last of Sirius’ journals. Opening it up, she found where she had left off and starting reading.

_It’s all set. Prongs has lent me his invisibility cloak and I’m going to sneak into the Malfoys’ during the Winter Gala. Despite whatever Aurora says, I don’t trust Selwyn. He’ll likely find a way to escort her or otherwise bother her, though she assured me that she had it under control. I trust her completely. But you never know with Selwyn._

_If anyone had forked tongue, it would be him. Always able to swing things to his advantage. I’m glad he’s gone this year. Already I’ve gotten far less detention without him around. I tried to tell Slughorn that he made up half the things he gave me detention for last year, but the man just didn’t believe me. Bloody Slytherins taking care of their own and all. Course, it’s not like I’ve helped myself in that regard. I did get plenty all on my own._

_You would think that eventually he’d let it go. It’s obvious that Aurora can’t stand him. Plus, with our plan in the works, she’ll be long gone from Greenthistle Manor before he can convince her mother to let them marry. He’ll have her over my dead body._

Ellie frowned as she sat back in the chair. Seemed Evan had been obsessed with her mother for far longer than she had known. Granted, knowing now that his family’s riches were dwindling quickly, she supposed that made sense. She then wondered if that was what had spurred him to write her. That if he stayed on good terms with the girl he had raised, perhaps she would give him something if and when he someday got out of Azkaban. Ellie frowned as she flipped back through the book, reading a few more passages about Evan. Sirius certainly didn’t hide his feelings about him. And the more she learned, the more Ellie realized that Evan Selwyn always had ulterior motives. 

Glancing at the journals, she then packed them up, a knot settling in her stomach. She then looked around the room, finding Ginny sitting with the other girls in her year, all of them laughing and joking about something. Pushing her worries about Evan to the side, she stood and walked over to them.

She decided that she didn’t want to think about any of it. Not right now, at least. She could use some cheering up, that was for sure. 


	19. Connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chance run-in with Theodore Nott makes Ellie wonder just what sort of nefarious plans Evan Selwyn may have put into works before being sent to Azkaban. However, an unexpected package from her mother gives her the connection she's been searching for to Sirius Black.

Ellie walked around in a bit of a fog the next few days. She had written her mother about the letter from Evan but had yet to hear back from her. She couldn’t help as she worried what sort of ulterior motive he might have for sending it. Of course, there was no way for him to hurt her or her mother now, but still. Evan Selwyn was sly; there was no telling what sort of plan he could have put in the works before he was locked up.

Or how said plan would continue to play out.

Figuring that out had filled her mind, unfortunately to the point that she had been rather distracted of late. As well as jumpy. Just last night at quidditch practice she had missed a few too many goals, for which Harry made her stay and do laps afterwards while he put up the equipment. She then hoped that would lead to a possible conversation between the two - especially after she had given him the journal - but he had skulked off just before she had finished. Thankfully Ginny had waited on her, so she didn’t have to walk back to the castle alone. 

It was all rather frustrating in her book, and she was getting tired of feeling frustrated and confused. 

“Absolutely ridiculous,” she muttered to herself as she turned a corner and rammed into someone, sending their books and things flying across the floor. “I’m so sorry!” 

She quickly dropped down to the ground, gathering up books and parchment without stopping to see who it was. Really, she couldn’t help but think that she needed to stop being so concerned with Harry and Evan. Not if it was going to turn her into a walking disaster.

“Distracted are we, Selwyn?” 

She paused for a moment and looked over, seeing Theodore Nott crouched on the ground, reaching for one of her books. He had never really spoken to her before, being one of the few Slytherins who hadn’t given her much of a hard time. Granted, he was usually unreadable, so she never really knew where he stood on things.

“Sorry, was… thinking,” she said, returning her attention to retrieving things. 

“It’s alright. No harm done,” he replied warmly. Ellie couldn’t help but be a bit stunned. While no one from the house had given her many issues lately, she still remembered what the others had said before about her mother. It was enough for her to be on edge, worrying what he might do or say to her.

She quickly stood after she had picked up the last parchment, holding it and a book out to Nott as he held out hers. 

“Thanks,” she said, starting off down the hall after she had retrieved all her things.

“Say, Selwyn,” he called out, causing her to stop and look back. “You going to Hogsmeade with anyone next visit?” Ellie’s eyes widened as her mouth dropped open a moment, though she quickly snapped it shut. Why was Theodore Nott asking her to Hogsmeade? Wait… was he asking her to Hogsmeade?

“With my friends, I should think,” she said cautiously. He nodded.

“If you want, perhaps we could meet up? Just the two of us?” he asked. Ellie just blinked, thoroughly confused. But then she remembered that his father was also snatched up in the attack on the Ministry. He was a death eater just like Evan. Despite the fact Nott was being kind, she couldn’t help but think it was some sort of means to an end.

“Why?” she asked, taking a step towards him. “You’ve never spoken to me before. Why do you want to meet me in Hogsmeade?” He shrugged.

“Suppose you’re not all that bad,” he said. “Still pureblood, even if you’re in Gryffindor. And it’s not like there’s many options in my house left.” Ellie frowned. “You’re smart, Selwyn. You know what’s been happening. The contracts are starting earlier with… everything.”

“Contracts?” she replied, even more confused. He gave her an odd look.

“You mean… no one’s told you?” he asked slowly. Ellie shook her head and he sighed. “Betrothals. Most of the pureblood families are getting them squared away with things being what they are... Before they were taken to Azkaban, our fathers were starting to arrange ours… Think my step-mum is planning to push forward with it still. Figured it was about time we started talking to each other.”

Ellie’s mouth dropped open as she gaped at him, though she really shouldn’t have been that surprised. It was something Evan would have done, started making arrangements to marry her off without consulting with her mother or herself. Though surely her mother wouldn’t continue such a thing. She was only 14, for crying out loud. Hadn’t even had her first kiss yet. There was no way she was going to get into some sort of betrothal with Theodore Nott, much less meet him in Hogsmeade.

“Absolutely not,” Ellie snapped, now scowling at him. “We left that world when my mother divorced _him_ , and we don’t intend to go back. Not to mention, what makes you think I’d want to marry you? I don’t even know you!?” For a moment, Ellie once again couldn’t read what was going through his mind as he studied her. He then glanced around and took a few steps towards her, suddenly looking slightly concerned for her. Which was equally as odd.

“Hate to break it to you… you may think that you’ve escaped this life, but you haven’t. Not really… things are coming, Selwyn. Things you can’t run from. Best get used to the idea, because it’s probably the one thing that’ll protect you,” he said softly. Ellie took a step back and shook her head.

“No. Like my mother, I’ve chosen my side,” she said, staring up at him defiantly. “I don’t need your protection.” He snorted slightly.

“You’ve chosen wrong. But there’s still time to change your mind. Be quick about it. I’m not sure how long I can wait around to help you out,” he said before turning and striding off. Ellie watched him a moment before turning and walking towards the great hall, attempting to wrap her mind around what had just happened and ignore the deeply unsettling feeling in her stomach. 

~~~

“Owl dropped off a package from your mum - Good heavens, what happened?” Ginny said as soon as Ellie sat next to her at the Gryffindor table. Ellie looked over at her with wide eyes, not realizing that her face had betrayed anything. “You’ve got that look on your face. Was it Harry again?” 

Ellie glanced around the table, making sure that the others weren’t listening in. Thankfully, they were all paying attention to whatever story Lavender was currently in the middle of - likely the latest bit of gossip going around. Though Ellie couldn’t help but notice as Seamus glanced at her, a worried look on his face. She quickly shook her head as she sat her books down and reached for the package, slipping into her bag.

“Nott asked me to Hogsmeade,” she said quietly, placing her bag under the bench.

“Why’s that got you looking all wonky?” Ginny asked, as Ellie stole another glance at Seamus, who had fully turned to look at her. Bother. She wasn’t sure she wanted him involved in this. She did still have a massive crush on him despite the fact things were slightly awkward.

“It was… strange,” Ellie said, looking at Ginny. “He was going on about betrothal contracts and, and, saying that even though Mum and I left that life, we wouldn’t be able to truly escape it.” Ginny just stared at her a moment before looking over at the Slytherin table, likely looking for Nott. “He said that our fathers had been arranging something between us before they were arrested.” Ginny looked back at her, her eyes wide.

“Normally that sort of things doesn’t start up until maybe sixth or seventh year,” Ginny said, dropping her voice so the others didn’t hear. “Why would they start so early?”

“He said that something was coming,” Ellie whispered. The two of them glanced down the table towards Harry and then back at each other. “You don’t suppose… he’s heard something, do you?”

“Maybe?” Ginny replied, glancing at the Slytherin table again. “Harry thinks Malfoy’s a death eater now. And all of their fathers are in with that lot. Wouldn’t be surprised if he had heard something or knows something.” She looked back at Ellie, noticing the color had slightly left her face. “But I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about. Your mother would never let that happen. You’re both perfectly safe.” Ellie nodded as she looked down at her plate.

“Yea, obviously,” she replied, though it wasn’t Nott she was worried about. She was worried about what else Evan Selwyn might have started or have planned.

“You could just tell them all the truth,” Seamus interjected. “I’m sure they’d leave you alone if they knew that Sir-”

“Shh!” Ellie hissed, glancing up and down the table, though no one had heard him. Bloody hell, she should have never let him in on the secret if he was going to blast it to the whole table. Granted, it wasn’t as though she had had a choice at the time, considering what he had overheard.

“Not sure why you still don’t want anyone to know,” Seamus said. “It could help…”

“Because it’s my secret and I get to decide who and when to tell,” Ellie hissed, feeling as though she had reached her limit of ridiculous for the day. Seamus was already looking across the room towards the Slytherin table, frowning slightly. Ellie looked over, catching Nott’s eyes for a moment before he looked over at Malfoy that was sitting next to him, though the longer she watched him, the more she noticed him glancing at her. 

“Blighter,” Seamus said. Ellie and Ginny both looked at him. “If he bothers you again, let me know.” Ginny was already started to frown as Ellie rolled her eyes. 

“Don’t need your help,” she muttered as she grabbed her bag and stood up from the table.

“But you haven’t eaten,” Ginny said.

“Not hungry,” Ellie said, not turning to look at her as she started out of the great hall. Perhaps her dorm would give her a much-needed break from people, specifically annoying boys. 

~~~

Thankfully the rest of the day was rather uneventful. As Ellie walked into her dorm that night, all she wanted to do was to change into her pyjamas and ignore everyone else as she thought over what had happened earlier. She had avoided Seamus at dinner and in the common room, still put out with him that he had nearly said Sirius was her father in front of the others. And Ginny wanted her to talk about everything, which normally Ellie would agree to. But at the moment, she was too overwhelmed with anxiety to rehash the day’s events and ponder aloud what they could mean.

Didn’t help that Harry had now taken to watching her closely in the common room. He still wouldn’t talk to her outside of practice, nor would he approach her. It was all rather annoying.

So, she quickly changed and then settled on her bed, pulling out another of Sirius’ journals, hoping that it would give her something else to think about.

_I just can’t understand them. Why they continue to think that just because we’re pureblood (and rich), that means we’re better than everyone else. Evans could kick my ass any day of the week when it came to spells. Probably most people, now that I think about it. But my parents just don’t get it. Nor do they understand me. Just because you beat me or punish me isn’t going to make me think any differently. Or want to conform to their limited worldview._

_I’ll never follow them. I’ll never intentionally treat someone horrible just because they have muggle blood. A person should be judged on who they are as a person, not what blood is running through their veins. More than that, what kind of life is it to live by such constraining rules? Rules telling you who to date, who to marry, who to consort with. What gives them the right to treat people and creatures so horribly just because? I’ve never wanted to live that way. I don’t care that they are going to cut me off. I’d rather be on my own, living my life how I want to live it, than to have all the riches in the world. They’ll never make me conform. Never._

Emmie looked up from the journal, easily seeing why her mother and Sirius had fallen in love. Her mother was very much the same, it seemed. Not wanting to follow the rules that growing up as a Greenthistle had demanded she follow. They had run away together. 

It was then that Ellie suddenly remembered the package her mother had sent her. After putting it in her bag, she had forgotten about it. She put the journal aside and quickly reached for her bag, pulling it out. Opening it, she looked inside, finding a large amount of envelopes with her name on it, with one on the top that said “Read first.” 

She reached for it, opening it and seeing her mother’s handwriting. She told Ellie not to worry about anything regarding Evan. He was just trying to toy with her and nothing he said should be believed. Ellie figured she say that. But after that, Ellie noticed a few tearstains.

_There’s really no way to start this, so I’ll just get right into it. I was going through some of the boxes of Sirius’ things that I brought with me from Grimmauld Place. I hadn’t been able to bring myself to do it until now, but when I did, I found these letters in a box marked “For Ellie.” I’m so sorry that I did not find and send them sooner. I don’t know if he did it just in case something should happen to him or if he just wanted to connect with you before you met, but he wrote you letters. It seems there is one for nearly every day since he found out about you…_

Ellie took a deep breath as she looked at the letters, wondering if they were in order or what. She put her mother’s letter aside and reached for the first envelope, opening it with shaky hands. 

_My dearest Ellie,_

_I know that you are likely reeling at the moment. Trust me, I was reeling a bit as well when your mother told me about you. To have gone the last 13 years without knowing about you. I wish that I had. I wish that a lot of things had been different. But there is nothing we can do about that now, unfortunately._

_I want you to know that had I known, I would have dropped everything, moved mountains, to be with you and your mother. I know we haven’t met yet, but I couldn’t be more proud or happy to be your father. It’s strange when I think about it too much, to so completely and utterly love someone that I’ve never met, but I do. You are my daughter, Ellie. And I want nothing more than to make up for all the years that I wasn’t there to protect you and be with you and your mother._

Ellie stopped reading for a moment, feeling a lump forming in her throat. She tried to swallow it down, but it wouldn’t go away. So, she took a shuddery breath and continued reading.

_There is so much that I want to say to you. Too much for one letter, which is why I intend to write more. Just until I can finally meet you and tell you all these things in person. Your mother has told me a bit of what it was like growing up with Selwyn and I think most importantly, I want you to know that you are wonderful just as you are. And there is nothing you could ever do that would make your mother or I be any less proud of you. Or love you less. You are such a strong, brave girl, having to go through all that. I look forward to all of us being together as the family that we were meant to be, so that I can hopefully be a better father than he was. I’ve never thought of myself as a particularly great man. But know that I always wanted you, even if I didn’t know about you. The only thing I ever wanted in life was to be with your mother and have a family with her. I spent years thinking that I had lost her - lost that dream. But then she showed up on my doorstep and I found out that we had you. Perfect, wonderful, beautiful you._

Ellie stopped reading, her sight becoming too blurred to continue. Closing her eyes, she held the letter to her chest, feeling the tears start to pour down her cheeks. It was as though she were feeling everything in that moment. Joy at finally having a father that loved her. Loved her mother. That wanted her. 

But just as equally strong was the pain. It was the reason she knew that she had unconsciously tried to keep Sirius at a distance. Because she knew that if she found that connection with him, then she would have to grieve him.

Opening her eyes, she gasped as she couldn’t stop or slow the tears. But she knew that she needed this. Looking back down at the letter, she gently ran her fingers over his words. This was her father. Yes, he had faults, but no one was perfect. He had loved her. Wanted her. Was proud of her. And she knew in that moment that he would have never manipulated her. Forced her to do something that she didn’t want. Make her live by rules that were suffocating. 

He would have helped her with her homework. Taught her about life and quidditch. Held her when she cried. Cheered at her triumphs. She knew that she got more than just a love of quidditch from him. She had his strength and bravery. His loyalty. His desire to live life by her own rules. To do what was right even if it was hard. In an instant, she could suddenly see why everyone kept saying that she was so much like Sirius. She really was.

Ellie began sobbing as the small thread she felt forming in her chest that connected her to Sirius began to strengthen. For the first time since finding out, Ellie really and truly felt it within her.

_He_ was her father. She wasn’t Ellie Selwyn.

She was Ellie Black.


	20. Doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finding a connection with her father has its own consequences, namely causing Ellie to get into a bit of a funk. But it's nothing her best friend and her father's words can't break.

Two weeks went by and Ellie couldn’t quite figure out just how the time had passed so quickly or without her noticing. She had settled into a sort of autopilot mode for most of it - going to class, doing homework, going to quidditch practice. Then when she was alone, she would pull out a letter from Sirius, dissolve into tears and be unable to finish it. Ginny had tried talking to her about it, but after Ron had been accidentally poisoned, her attention had turned to him while he was in the hospital wing.

Ellie had to admit that she was grateful for Ginny’s distraction. She still wasn’t sure how to properly talk about her feelings on the latest development in her life. Part of her thought she should write her mother, but every time she sat down to try, she just stared at the parchment willing the words to come. But they wouldn’t. More and more she began to retreat into herself, thinking there was no one who could possibly understand what she was going through.

Well, that wasn’t true. There was one person who might understand. But he was still avoiding her.

She even thought of going to McGongall, but nixed that idea, not wanting to admit that she couldn’t figure this out herself. Her parents had been brave and strong; surely, she could be the same and work through this. Even if she couldn’t seem to settle on what emotion to feel most of the time. She went through sadness, anger, hurt, and numbness in a cycle that changed so rapidly, she was worried about getting whiplash. 

“Selwyn! Get your head out of your daydreams!” Harry shouted at her, causing Ellie to whip her head over to him, eyes wide. She was hovering above the pitch with the other chasers and was supposed to be listening to him explain a new play but had once again gotten lost in her thoughts.

“Sorry,” she muttered, avoiding the obvious look of concern on Ginny’s face next to her.

“If you can’t stay focused, I’ll bring in Thomas,” Harry said sternly.

“No need. I’m focused,” Ellie said a bit more strongly this time, meeting his eyes. 

“Good,” he said before launching into the explanation again, though Ellie couldn’t help but notice that a hint of worry had crept into his green eyes when he looked at her. Perhaps he was finally starting to come around. Or perhaps he was just worried she would cost them the next match.

“Everything alright?” Ginny asked softly as they flew off to take their positions.

“I’m fine,” Ellie said automatically.

“No, you’re not. I know I’ve been busy with Ron lately, but don’t think I haven’t notice,” Ginny said, frowning at her.

“It can wait until after practice,” Ellie said, turning her focus to Demelza, who had the quaffle. Ginny just sighed and shook her head.

“Fine. But we’re talking about this later whether you want to or not,” she declared. Ellie didn’t answer, just nodded. Seemed she would need to steel herself for this. 

~~~

After practice had ended, Ellie stood and took the stern talking to that Harry had given her in front of the whole team, knowing that she deserved it. She had been distracted during most of the practices of late. And that had caused her to drop the quaffle a few times and take a few bludger hits that should have been easily avoided. And their next match was all too soon. She didn’t blame him for worrying that she wouldn’t be up to snuff when the time came. And she was glad that her mother was too pregnant to make the trip over for the match - she didn’t want to disappoint her in person. 

After he had finished, she trudged back to the locker room with the rest of the team, falling behind them a bit. Ginny fell into step with her, watching her.

“Is it the letter from him?” she asked. “Or that thing with Nott?”

“No,” Ellie said with a sigh. “Remember that package Mum sent? It was letters that S-he wrote to me.” 

Ginny stopped walking, her eyes wide. 

“Why didn’t you say anything before now?” she asked. Ellie turned to face her.

“I just… it was something I wanted to keep to myself,” she admitted. “And it’s been good… but it’s also been really bad…” Ginny just threw her arms around Ellie in a fierce hug. “I just… I keep going ‘round and round. Happy, angry, sad.” Ellie stopped speaking as she felt the tears well up again and it began a bit harder to breathe. “I mean… I’m finally starting to feel like he’s my dad, but… he’s not here.”

“It means you’re finally grieving,” Ginny said softly as Ellie began to sob quietly. “And it’s completely normal…”

“But… it’s just… it’s so unfair,” Ellie managed to get out, thankful that the rest of the team had disappeared into the locker room. “Why was he the one to die? It should have been Evan!” 

“I know that it’s unfair,” Ginny said softly. “It really, really… sucks.” 

“And… he… I know that he wasn’t perfect, but… he really wanted to get to know me. And he wanted us to be a family, and, and…” Ellie began sobbing a bit more loudly, finally letting out everything that she had pent up. She knew that she was silly to think she could get through this on her own - even Sirius had relied on his friends to help him through hard times. And her mother had Professor Lupin now. 

Just why had she kept all this bottled up when she had friends who would listen to her?

Ginny stepped back and took Ellie’s face in her hands. 

“You know you don’t have to hide this from any of us, right? We’ll listen,” she said. Ellie nodded. 

“I know, but I still haven’t told the others about… you know,” she replied. 

“Doesn’t matter. Moira and Meredith know that he and your mother were together before he died. They know enough that they’ll understand why you’re upset,” Ginny said. “And you have me. I know practically everything.”

“But you have to look after Ron,” Ellie said meekly. Ginny waved her hand in the air as she started back towards the locker room, looping her arm through Ellie’s as she dragged her along.

“He’s fine. Besides, he accidentally asked for Hermione in his sleep, which set off Lavender and I’d rather not get mixed up in that mess,” she replied with a slight roll of her eyes. 

“He did what?” Ellie asked, stopping for a moment, her eyes wide. Ginny chuckled and shook her head, her red ponytail swinging behind her. 

“I know. I was honestly surprised he stayed with her this long but seems that relationship is finally coming to its eventual end,” Ginny said, smiling slightly. “You know… you could probably talk to Finnegan too. He’s been worried about you. Asks me how you are every time Dean and I hang out with him.”

Ellie blushed and looked away as she started walking again.

“Not sure that’s something I want to talk about with him,” she said. 

“I think he’s starting to fancy you,” Ginny said, her smile growing ever so slightly.

“No… he probably just thinks of me as a little sister,” Ellie quickly said, banishing the thought. There was no way Seamus Finnegan fancied her. Though the few times they had spoken, he still called her Ellie rather than Selwyn. She couldn’t help but like it.

“You never know,” Ginny sang. 

“Stop it, Ginny Weasley. You’re teasing me,” Ellie stated. Ginny just chuckled. 

“I’m just saying… don’t dismiss the idea completely. He very well could fancy you. And there’s no reason why he wouldn’t. You’re easily the prettiest fourth year. And you’re smart. And wicked good with spells,” Ginny said. “Not to mention a brilliant chaser…”

“Not so sure I’m very brilliant at that right now,” Ellie said glumly. 

“That’s only because you’re going through a lot at the moment. Come match day, you’ll be back in good form,” Ginny said resolutely. 

“I hope so,” Ellie replied. 

“Stop it. The Ellie I know would stand tall, walk straight, and kick ass on the pitch. Not second guess herself,” Ginny said. Ellie chuckled, feeling a bit of the pressure that had settled in her chest alleviate. 

“Perhaps,” she said, though her voice had lightened a bit. 

“You will,” Ginny said firmly. Ellie nodded her head.

“I will,” she said, glancing over her shoulder as they walked in. She caught Harry standing in the middle of the pitch watching them, though as soon as she looked over, he quickly set about to gathering up the equipment again. Sighing, she wondered if he would ever come around.

“Come on. Let’s hurry up and get back to the common room…”

~~~

Ellie sighed as she sat on her bed, stretching. She was still a bit sore from practice but had to admit that she felt more like herself after her talk with Ginny. They had spent a couple hours in the common room with the others in DA. Ellie couldn’t help but think that Seamus seemed relieved to find her chatting and laughing with them, but she told herself that his concern had nothing to do with fancying her. 

And it had been easy to focus on the others and whatever news was going around the Tower. Lavender was moping in a corner with Parvati, shooting glares across the room at Hermione. If Hermione noticed, she didn’t let on, keeping her nose down in whatever book she was reading. 

But after some time, Ellie had wanted to be alone, so she left the others, saying she wanted to turn in early. Finding herself alone, she reached under her bed and pulled out the box of letters. She picked up one on top that she hadn’t read yet and settled back on her pillows, opening it. She was in need of some parental guidance and without her mother there, this seemed to be the next best thing.

_My dearest Ellie,_

_I had hoped to write of happy things today, but I fear that my mind is not at ease. I know that your mother wishes to shield you from some things, but I’m of the mind that you are old enough and more than capable to handle the truth. Good and bad. And I want you to really know me - not just the bits I want you to know._

_I am not always as confident as I may seem to others. None of us are, really._

_We’ve been working to find the necessary documents so that you and your mother can leave the Selwyns, but it’s proven much more difficult than we initially thought. Days, sometimes weeks, go by with no progress and it is frustrating. Some days I begin to wonder if it will ever be possible. If we’re strong enough to go through with this. But then I think about how much I love your mother and you, and a new strength fills me. We can do this. And we will succeed. And then we’ll be a family._

_It’s important to know that life isn’t always going to go the way that you want it. There are going to be highs and lows. But in those lows, you must not give up hope. Sometimes hope is all that we have. More than anything, never feel as though you are not enough. You are. Your mother has told me so much about you and I can clearly see that you have her strength. Her intelligence. You have been through so much and yet you still maintain a warm and strong spirit. Never lose that, Ellie. And never, ever let anyone think that you are less than._

_You are capable of so much so never stop believing in yourself. More than that, you have me and your mother to help you. We will always be here for you, whatever may come. I love you always, just as you are._

_Much love,  
_ _Your father_

Ellie wiped her cheeks, smiling slightly at the letter. She felt as though it was more than just luck that she had picked up that particular letter from the stack. It was exactly what she needed to hear. She could feel the strength from his words flowing through her.

He was right. She was enough. And she did have strength to get through whatever came. At the moment, it was a quidditch match. But even whatever troubles lay on the horizon, she suddenly felt as though she could handle those as well. Whether it was some nefarious plan Evan Selwyn had put into works, or something more. 

She could do this.


	21. Pressure Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellie finally reaches her breaking point in dealing with Harry's moodiness and things hit a head.

Ellie held tight to her broom as she dove down, just barely avoiding a bludger from one of the beaters. The match wasn’t going all that well so far, but at least she felt confident that she was doing her best. She hadn’t dropped the quaffle and even managed a couple scores. But Hufflepuff was still head by about 20 points. Not to mention, it _was_ Hufflepuff. It should have been an easy win, in Ellie’s book.

She couldn’t help but think that it was in part because Ron was still out of commission. McLaggen had insisted that he was more than capable of filling the spot - to the point of bragging about it - but so far, he hadn’t lived up to his own hype, which was aggravating. 

“Ellie!” Ginny shouted. She turned her attention back to the play and easily caught the quaffle, avoiding a Hufflepuff chaser as she sped towards the hoops. She had gotten a fair bit ahead and easily scored through the right hoop, bringing them that much closer to tying. 

“A lovely score by Ellie on Gryffindor. Thankfully she’s having no issues with wrackspurts today.”

Ellie frowned slightly but shrugged off Luna’s commentary. She had been talking about pixie puffs and nargals more than she had been mentioning the game. Which was a fair bit better than what Smith might have said had he been commentating, Ellie thought. 

The match continued on, with Ellie and Ginny managed to eek out a few more scores. Perhaps they would win, Ellie thought to herself, though just after, McLaggen missed another goal and the score was once again tied. Bother. They really were going to have to rely on Harry catching the snitch on this one. And hopefully Ron would be back for the next match. Seemed they were going to need him. If Harry didn’t yell at McLaggen after this, she most certainly would. And Ginny from the look of fury on her face as she flew by. 

Finding an opening, Ellie quickly sped up and rammed into the chaser’s side, causing him to drop the quaffle. Ginny was quick to snatch up as they all turned and began heading towards the other end of the pitch as she, Ellie, and Demelza passed back and forth. 

Finally, Ellie broke away from the others, a determined look on her face as she settled on which hoop she was going to aim for.

Just as Ellie was about to throw the quaffle there was a loud, collective gasp from the crowd. Trying to push it aside, she threw, watching as it sailed through the hoop, though she couldn’t take any joy in it, as the keeper was too busy gawking at something on the other side of the pitch. Turning her broom, Ellie looked over at what had gotten everyone’s attention.

Lying on the ground at the other end was Harry. Before she could register what was going on, Luna announced that Hufflepuff had gotten the snitch and won. Coming to a stop, Ellie’s mouth dropped open as she looked around for Ginny, wondering just what had happened. From the way the others were glaring at McLaggen, she assumed he had had something to do with it. 

Flying down to the pitch, she landed and hurried over to the rest of the team while Madam Pomfrey quickly got Harry on a stretcher and started back towards the castle.

“What happened?” she asked.

“Stupid McLaggen,” Ginny fumed, shooting a death glare at the keeper. “What the hell were you thinking!”

Ellie looked over at him, still not sure what had happened. 

“Really? A beater’s bat to the head?!” Demelza then shouted. “I get that you’re pissed you didn’t get on the team in the first place, but did you really have to sabotage our match?!”

Ellie just gaped at him as he glared defiantly around the group. He said nothing, just huffed and spun on his heels, walking to the locker room.

“Oh no you don’t!” Ginny shouted, already starting towards him with her wand out. 

“Ginny, no!” Ellie shouted as she reached out and grabbed her arm. 

“He deserves it, the slimy git!” Ginny shouted, trying to fight her off.

“Yea, and then we’ll be out a chaser because you got detention!” Ellie yelled rationally. Ginny looked at her and then back at McLaggen, though she had stopped struggling against her. She straightened her jersey, still glaring at his back. 

“Come on. Let’s get changed and then go check on Harry,” she said, starting towards the locker room. “I promise not to jinx him… for now.”

“Fine,” Ellie said, with a slight roll of her eyes. 

This was bloody brilliant.

~~~

Ellie stood towards the back of the group, fiddling with the hem of her jumper as they all crowded around Harry’s bed. Hermione and Ron had just left, but he was still out cold and from the looks Pomfrey was giving them, she would probably shoo them out soon as well. 

Ginny was seated next to him, a worried look on her face. 

“I must insist, Mr. Potter is not going to magically wake up with all of you here. Back to your common room. I’ll send word later,” Madam Pomfrey said, bustling up to them.

“Can I at least stay?” Ginny asked, looking at her. “I promise to be quiet.” Pomfrey studied her a moment and then nodded.

“Very well,” she said before bustling off. The rest of the team started filing out of the hospital wing, Ellie following.

“Could you stay with me?” Ginny asked, grabbing her attention. Ellie’s eyes widened as she took in her friend’s desperate look and then Harry’s unconscious form on the bed. Sighing, she turned back around and walked over to sit in the chair next to her.

“So McLaggen hit him with a beater’s bat?” she asked, still not quite believing that was what had happened. Ginny nodded, now looking back at Harry.

“Of all the foul ways to get back at Harry,” she grumbled. “And in a match.” 

“Yea, does seem pretty rotten,” Ellie replied. 

“He for sure won’t be playing anymore matches,” Ginny added.

“Thank Merlin for that. He was pretty bad,” Ellie said. “Glad that Ron should be good to return.” Ginny nodded. She then looked over at Ellie.

“Stay with him, for me? I need to use the loo,” she said. Ellie’s eyes widened as she looked down at Harry and back at Ginny. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be left alone with him, but at the same time, he was out cold. Surely nothing would happen while Ginny was gone.

“Alright,” she said softly. Ginny smiled appreciatively as she stood and bounded out of the wing towards the bathrooms just down the hall. Ellie sighed and settled into her chair, wishing she had brought a book or something. She began looking around the now empty hospital wing, wondering how much work it took to keep it so pristine.

“Selwyn?”

Ellie looked back over, eyes wide as Harry stared at her in confusion, pushing himself up in the bed. He grimaced slightly as he brought his hand to his head. 

“Ginny asked me to stay with her. She just went to the bathroom,” Ellie said quickly. “I can… go…”

Harry didn’t say anything, just rubbed his head as he stared at her. Ellie looked down at her hands in her lap, feeling rather awkward. She wasn’t sure what to say to him, though she knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to ask him why he was avoiding her. Why he wouldn’t talk to her about Sirius. 

“You… you did good today,” he said quietly. Ellie looked up at him in surprise, wondering just how hard he had gotten hit in the head.

“Thanks,” she said, though it came out sounding more like a question.

“I know I’ve been a bit hard on you… but you are rather good,” he continued, now looking down at his hands and not meeting her eyes. Ellie couldn’t reply, she was still in a state of shock. Perhaps giving him the journal had worked. “Should have put you on the team from the beginning.”

“It’s alright,” Ellie said quickly, finally finding her voice. “I mean… it’s bad luck that we had to lose Katie, but… I’m not sore about it anymore.” He glanced at her and nodded. She wondered if he was finally willing to talk to her about _that_. “I, um… if you want… I can give you more of his journals… and I’ve been… reading these letters that he wrote me… I was hoping maybe we could… talk about it...” 

Harry was now fully looking at her, his face unreadable, though there was a flicker of something in his eyes.

“He wrote you letters?” he asked. Ellie nodded.

“Mum just found them not long ago. Sent them to me. Still not through all of them,” she said cautiously. 

“He wrote _you_ letters,” he said again. Ellie frowned slightly, noting the slightly cold tone to his voice.

“I am his daughter,” she said. Harry looked away, a bevy of emotions flying over his face, though she clearly saw a hint of jealousy there, which set her on edge. “Not sure why that would upset you. He left everything to you.” Harry didn’t respond. Just kept staring at the floor next to his bed.

“Is that why you won’t talk to me?” Ellie asked. “Because you’re jealous that he was my dad?”

“No,” Harry said immediately, frowning. 

“Then what is it? Because I’m starting to get tired of all this,” Ellie said, crossing her arms in front of her. 

“I just don’t want to talk about it,” he replied. “You wouldn’t understand.” Ellie’s eyebrows rose as she laughed shortly.

“I wouldn’t understand? Oh, that’s, that’s lovely,” she said, her voice dripping in acid. Harry turned to look at her. “I mean, I can understand why you wouldn’t want to talk at first - god knows Mum couldn’t talk about him without losing it for months. But bloody hell, Harry. You weren’t the only one who loved him.”

“You didn’t even know him,” he shot back defensively.

“Yea, and that wasn’t my fault!” Ellie said, her voice rising. She knew it would bring Pomfrey back and she’d get kicked out, but she was determined to get this out while she had the chance. There was no way for Harry to run off from her now. “And now the only way I can get to know him is through journals and letters and stories that other people tell me.” She jumped to her feet. “Do you know what that is like? How frustrating it is? I finally find out that I have a father who loved me. Who wanted me. And I don’t even get the chance to know him properly because someone killed him before I got the chance!”

Harry just stared at her, unable to speak. 

“You don’t even know how lucky you are! You got to spend time with him! Hear him tell you to your face how much he loved you! And I… I don’t get that,” she said, feeling tears pricking at her eyes. “I’ve only just now begun feeling as though he is my dad and I want to talk about it. _Need_ to talk about it. But the one person that I could talk about it who would really understand refuses because he thinks he’s the only bloody person in the world who could possibly had been hurt by him dying. Well, you’re not, Harry. I’ve seen what it’s done to my mother. To Professor Lupin. And it makes me… so angry! Because I’ll never get to know him the way they did. The way you did!”

“Miss Selwyn! If you cannot lower your voice, I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” Pomfrey said, rushing up to them.

“It’s fine, I’m leaving anyway,” Ellie retorted before turning and walking out of the hospital wing. She furiously wiped at the tears pouring down her cheeks as she made her way back to Gryffindor Tower. 

If Harry wanted to wallow in his own self-pity, then he could do that all he wanted. But she wasn’t about to let him think that he was the only one upset by Sirius’ death. Not by a long shot.

“Stupid, bloody git,” she muttered to herself as she walked through the common room.

“Ellie! Wait - is something wrong?” 

Ellie stopped and looked over at Seamus as he rushed up to her.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said before starting towards the stairs to her dorm.

“If it’s about the match-”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it!” she shouted, breaking out into a run as she bounded up the stairs, leaving a gaping Seamus in her wake. She ran into her room and stopped, still wiping away angry tears. She then let out a loud shout, finally releasing a bit more of her pent-up anger. 

Harry could sod off if he thought that he was the only one affected by Sirius’ death. Ellie had tried and waited and been patient, but if he was going to be a git about it, then she didn’t need to talk to him. 

No. She had her mother and her friends. And Sirius’ letters. And that would be good enough.


	22. Meeting the Newest Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Babies really do change everything. Ellie meets her newest sibling and she and her mother receive a surprise visit at the hospital.

“Looking good, Ellie,” Seamus said, smiling at her. Ellie looked around, noticing they were alone in the common room and then back up at him, gulping slightly as he moved closer to her.

“T-thanks, Finnegan,” she replied.

“You can call me Seamus, you know,” he said. Ellie nodded, the ability to speak suddenly leaving her as he moved closer. “There’s actually something I want to tell you…”

“What?” she croaked, nearly flinching at how her voice sounded. Good one, Ellie. Really cute.

“I’ve always kind of fancied you,” he said, still smiling as he stopped, now just mere inches from her. Ellie’s eyes widened.

“Really? Me?” she asked softly. He nodded and started leaning down. All she could do was stare at his lips.

“Yea, you,” he said just as softly. Ellie closed her eyes, her heart pounding a million miles a second. This was it. Her first kiss.

“Ellie… Ellie…”

“Go away,” she murmured, feeling his lips hovering just above hers. 

“ELLIE SELWYN! WAKE UP!”

Ellie shot up in bed, looking around the dark room in a haze. What was going on? Her roommates were all groaning and moving around in their beds, so it wasn’t them. She looked over, seeing a concerned Professor McGonagall standing next to her, her wand tip lit up. She was fully dressed though it must be the middle of the night.

“What’s wrong?” Ellie asked groggily as she rubbed her eyes, her mind slowly waking up. Bugger, that had been a good dream.

“It’s the baby. It’s coming,” McGonagall said, a smile appearing. Ellie froze, her mouth dropping open. Was it time? Blasted, she couldn’t recall her mother’s due date at the moment. Was it early?

“Is everything okay?” she asked, suddenly worried.

“Perfectly fine, but hurry. We must get you to St. Mungo’s,” McGonagall replied. “Get dressed and I’ll wait in the common room for you. She then turned and rushed out of the room as Ellie shot out of bed, quickly pulling on some clothes. 

“The baby’s coming?” Moira asked excitedly. Ellie looked up at her and nodded, now smiling, all traces of the dream now gone as she pulled on her trousers and then reached for the knapsack she had kept packed under her bed for just this very moment. 

“Send us an owl later!” Meredith called out as Ellie turned and started to dash out of the room.

“I will!”

~~~

Ellie found herself barely able to keep up with Professor McGonagall as they rushed through the corridors of the hospital, which was a shock, to say the least. They had flooed over, using the floo in her office and then quickly rushed to the maternity ward. Ellie didn’t know how long her mother had been there or how long she had been in labor. But regardless, she was prepared to wait as long as necessary. Thankfully the Easter holiday was set to start soon, so she’d hopefully be able to stay with her mother and the new baby rather than have to go back to school. In preparation for this day, she had been working ahead in her classes just in case she’d have to leave suddenly.

Finally, they came to a stop outside a room, seeing Professor Lupin there sitting in a chair. He pushed up out of it as they looked over at him, McGonagall slightly out of breath. He had a soft smile on his face and looked as though he had been up all night.

“How is she?” Ellie asked quickly, walking up to him. “Is everything okay?”

“Perfectly fine,” he said. “You can actually go in if you want. And meet your new brother.” Ellie’s eyes widened as she looked towards the door.

“I have a brother?” she asked softly, then looked back at him. He nodded. She then turned and walked to the door, pushing it open and then stepping into the room. Her mother was sitting up in a bed, smiling down at a tiny bundle in her arms. She looked tired, but completely happy. Upon hearing the door, she looked over and beamed at Ellie.

“There you are. Come meet your brother,” she called out softly. Ellie dropped her bag on a nearby chair and quickly walked up to the bedside, looking down. The baby was yawning, but then seemed to look straight at her. Ellie couldn’t speak as she studied him, taking in his curly dark hair and tiny hands that were fisted up and moving around. “Apparently he was very eager to get here and meet everyone… labor was much shorter than you…”

“What’s his name?” Ellie asked, starting to smile as she reached out and the baby latched onto one of her fingers. She couldn’t help but chuckle quietly.

“Sirius Orion Black, IV, though figured we could call him Orion to avoid confusion,” Aurora said softly, looking back at the baby. 

“Ryan. We should call him Ryan. I have a nickname. He should have one too,” Ellie said, still staring at him. She wasn’t sure why she was so insistent on it, but looking down at him, it seemed fitting. “But… why Black?”

“Figured one of you should have his name…” Aurora replied quietly. Ellie swallowed the lump in her throat as tears began to blur her vision slightly. She already felt so much love for the little baby and knew from that moment that she would do anything and everything to protect him. 

“Hello, Ryan. I’m your big sister, Ellie,” she said. The baby moved a bit and then held onto her finger more tightly.

“I think he already loves you,” Aurora said, looking over at Ellie. Ellie nodded and then looked up at her mother. She had been thinking about it for a while but felt now was as good a time as ever. Her mother would be beyond happy by her decision.

“Mum… he doesn’t have to be the only one… I’ve been thinking and… I want to change my name… to Black,” she said. Aurora stared at her a moment, tears quickly filling her eyes. She then smiled brilliantly and wrapped her arm around Ellie, pulling her closer and kissing the side of her head.

“I think we can manage that,” she whispered. Ellie smiled again and then looked down at the baby.

“There are so many things that I have to teach you, little brother,” she said slightly seriously. “Like how to play quidditch. And the best times to sneak into the kitchen to snitch some of Mrs. Clark’s freshly baked cookies. And where she hides them.”

Ellie looked up at her mother, seeing so much love in her eyes, but also sadness. She felt her own chest tightening slightly. Though this was most definitely a happy moment, she couldn’t help but wish that he was here. Her father. 

“I wish he was here too,” Aurora said softly. “He always wanted a big family… told me that we’d fill Greenthistle Manor to the brim with children.” She looked at Ellie and swallowed. “But… I think this is perfect. Just the three of us together.”

“Yea, just the three of us,” Ellie repeated, smiling at her. “I think we’ll be alright.”

“Yes, we’ll be just fine…”

~~~

After McGonagall and Lupin had come in for a bit to chat, the healers had taken the baby off to the nursery so that Aurora and Ellie could get some sleep. They had conjured up a cot for her and the two managed to get in a few hours. Though once they both woke up the next morning, it was a flurry of activity. Thankfully the room had an attached bathroom with a shower so that the two could freshen up before a bevy of visitors came.

Lupin was there first and had stationed himself next to Ellie in a chair on the far side of Aurora’s bed. He was followed by Mrs. Weasley and then several others that had been at Sirius’ memorial. Ellie didn’t recall their names, though her mother reintroduced them. One had been a tall, slightly intimidating man named Shacklebolt that had arrived with Tonks. The young auror entertained the baby by changing her face into several animals, though Ellie didn’t miss the long glances between her and Professor Lupin. Seemed her suspicions on that were correct, though the professor made a point to look away. 

They had just gotten a bit of a break, eating lunch while the baby slept. Lupin excused himself to go take care of a few things but said that he would be back in a couple hours. Ellie was staring down at the baby in his bassinet, still a bit in awe over the fact that he was finally here when he began to stir, then opened his eyes to look up at her.

“You can hold him, if you like,” Aurora said from her bed. Ellie looked up at her, eyes wide.

“Are you sure? What if I drop him?” she asked suddenly. Aurora chuckled. 

“You’ll need to get used to it. Definitely going to be baby-sitting in the future,” she replied. Ellie looked back down at the baby and started to reach in slowly. “Just don’t forget to support his head.” Ellie held her breath as she gently picked him up and settled him in her arms, bouncing slightly. “It’s easier if you sit.” Ellie nodded, not taking her eyes off her baby brother as she walked over and sat down in a chair. “See? You’re fine.”

“He’s so light,” Ellie said. “Almost as light as a quaffle.”

“Well, he won’t be for too long. Babies tend to grow rather quickly,” Aurora said. 

“How long before I can take him on broom rides?” Ellie asked, looking up at her mother. 

“Not any time soon,” Aurora warned. Ellie just shrugged and returned to looking at the baby. He suddenly flashed a large smile.

“He smiled at me!” Ellie exclaimed as she looked over at her mother. Aurora had a soft smile on her face.

“As I said, he already loves his big sister,” she said. Ellie continued grinning as she looked back down and began rocking him. There was a knock at the door, though Ellie ignored it, too wrapped up in her little brother. 

“Come in,” Aurora called out.

“So many things I’m going to teach you,” Ellie murmured, not really caring who had arrived. 

“Harry.”

Ellie immediately looked up, seeing a fidgeting Harry standing just inside the room, a vase of flowers in his hands. 

“I, ehm… heard when I woke up this morning. Asked Professor McGonagall if she would let me out of class to come visit,” he said, his eyes shifting from Aurora to Ellie. 

“How kind of you,” Aurora said, smiling at him. “Would you like to meet him?” 

“Him?” Harry asked, not moving towards them as he looked back at Aurora. She nodded. Harry gulped and then walked over, depositing the vase on a table and then stepped to Ellie’s side, not meeting her eyes. He looked down at the bundle.

“This is Sirius Orion Black, IV, but we’re going to call him Ryan,” Ellie found herself saying as she watched his reaction. Harry bent down, looking at the baby’s face.

“Hello, Ryan,” he said softly. The baby moved slightly, blinking and making soft noises. 

“Would you… would you like to hold him?” Ellie asked. Harry finally met her eyes, his round behind his glasses. 

“Hold him?” he asked, seeming slightly terrified at the idea. 

“It’s not as hard as you might think,” Ellie said. “Take a seat.” Without speaking, Harry sat down in the chair next to her as Ellie stood and gently passed the baby into his arms. He didn’t speak as he just stared at him, an air of awkwardness around him. 

“We should be going home tomorrow. McGonagall’s allowed Ellie to stay through the break. But you’re more than welcome to come by then, if you like,” Aurora said. Harry looked up at her, his eyes wide. “I’ve… well, I’ve had a room prepared for you. For if you wanted to come stay with us. Anytime.”

“You’ve got a room for me?” he asked, seeming stunned. Aurora nodded.

“I wasn’t sure how to decorate it - I don’t really know what your tastes are. But if you don’t like it, we can change it. It’s not difficult,” Aurora continued. “It’s… it’s what we wanted… what he wanted. That we all move to Greenthistle Manor together.” 

Harry didn’t say anything at first, just nodded. He then swallowed again.

“Thank you. Perhaps I can try to,” he said before looking back at the baby. Ellie’s eyes widened as she met her mother’s eyes, completely taken aback. He had been avoiding her all year and now he suddenly wanted to come stay at the manor? This was a complete about face in her books.

Seemed babies really did change everything.

~~~

Not long later, the baby began fussing and Harry handed him to Aurora as she prepared to feed him. He then said his good-byes and walked out of the room. Ellie looked at her mother and then took off after him, jogging down the corridor to catch up.

“Harry,” she said. He stopped and turned to face her.

“Before you say anything… I’m sorry about how I’ve acted this year,” he said, cutting her off. Ellie’s eyes widened as she didn’t respond. She couldn’t think of anything to say, to be honest. “You were right… I’m not the only one who was affected by Sirius’ death. And you were right about some other things as well…” He looked at the ground and shifted on his feet before taking a deep breath and met her eyes. “I’ve got to get back to Hogwarts, but… if you want to talk when you get back, I think I’m ready.” Ellie just nodded.

“Alright,” she said. It was the only thing that seemed to come into her mind. He then nodded and gave a short wave, before turning and rushing down the corridor. Ellie stood and watching him until he disappeared around a corner, still stunned. 

She then turned and made her way back to her mother’s room, a lightness starting to fill her. 

Perhaps things were finally going to be okay.


	23. Becoming Ellie Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellie has decided to fully embrace the fact that she is Sirius Black's daughter, but it appears that even that has its own unforeseen consequences. And that perhaps her mother is keeping even more secrets from her.

Ellie couldn’t help but yawn as she waited for Defense Against the Dark Arts to start. She had known that babies were a lot of work, but that had not prepared her for actually living it. The entire holiday had been a blur. Ryan would start crying every few hours, with Aurora and Ellie both rushing to look after him. She was sure neither of them would have gotten any sleep if it hadn’t been for Professor Lupin. He had moved into a room in the main house to help out more for the next few months and Ellie was grateful for it. 

It was hard enough with her there to help. She was sure that it would be overwhelming for her mother once she went back to school, though Aurora had assured her they would fine. She had done this before, after all. It wasn’t as though Evan Selwyn had helped all that much when she was a baby. Though Aurora mentioned possibly hiring a nanny to help out.

Ellie was so tired that she had fallen into her bed in her dorm as soon as she arrived back and fallen fast asleep before anyone could ask her about the baby and such. She nearly slept through breakfast and had rushed to get to class on time, sliding into her seat next to Moira merely minutes before Snape swooped in and everyone went silent. 

Ellie straightened up as soon as he went to his desk and began calling out attendance, preparing herself for what she was about to do. She couldn’t help as a small, smug smile came across her face and she nearly started bouncing her leg in anticipation. She wasn’t completely sure why she was so excited about this but supposed her dislike for the professor had something to do with it.

And the fact that this was sure to create a tizzy in the school. She glanced around at the various Slytherins in the class, eager to show them once and for all that she wasn’t one of them - never had been and never would be.

“Selwyn, Ellie,” he droned.

“Sir, I’d like to make a correction,” she said loudly. Snape looked over at her, his annoyance clear.

“Is your name not Ellie Selwyn?” he asked boredly. The smug smile grew. How he didn’t see this coming, Ellie didn’t know.

“Not anymore,” she said, her voice strong and clear. “It’s now Ellie Black.” 

Snape froze for a moment as murmuring broke out among the class. A satisfied smile filled Ellie’s face as he narrowed his eyes, his gaze growing cold. She could feel Moira gaping at her from her side.

“I cannot arbitrarily change your name in my records,” he replied, his eyes narrowing at her. 

“Oh, I know. It’s all been taken care of, legally speaking,” Ellie replied. “You can check with Professor Dumbledore or Professor McGonagall if you like. All my official records now have me listed as Ellie Black, daughter of Aurora Greenthistle and… Sirius Black.” 

The murmuring reached a fever pitch, causing Snape to shout “QUIET!” a few times before it died down. He glared at her one more time before bending down to make a note and then continuing on with attendance. 

Ellie just sat back in her chair, crossing her arms in front of her. Yes, she quite liked being Ellie Black, she decided. 

~~~

It was a bit overwhelming later on after classes had finished and Ellie was sitting in the common room. Word had spread quickly after her little display with Snape - not to mention, she had to correct her professors in the rest of her classes, though it hadn’t been nearly as dramatic - and she had been getting looks and whispers all day. Nott had come up to her earlier in the corridor, but only managed an exasperated sigh before walking off without saying anything.

But now her house was gathered around her, peppering her with questions.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Moira asked.

“I wasn’t ready to,” Ellie said easily.

“And you knew this whole time?” Meredith asked Ginny, looking at her.

“Yea,” she replied.

“I don’t believe it. You can’t possibly be Sirius Black’s daughter,” Lila said haughtily. Ellie turned her grey eyes to the Walker twins, glaring at them.

“I am. Got the birth certificate to prove it. He and my mother were engaged during the first war. What’s more, my little brother is named after him,” she said. The twins’ eyes widened slightly. That was another revelation, it seemed. “My mother and father got back together before he died. They were going to get married over the summer.” 

“Doesn’t prove anything!” Laura shouted. 

“It’s true.”

Everyone went silent as they turned and saw Harry standing there. He looked around them, a serious expression on his face.

“It’s true. He told me himself last year during Christmas,” he said. “She’s really his daughter.” He offered Ellie a small smile before turning and walking off. The twins gawked at her a moment before turning on their heels and walking away as well. 

“So, how is your little brother?” Meredith asked, smiling. Ellie chuckled as she pulled out a few photographs from her pocket and handing them to her friends. “He’s adorable!”

“You won’t think that once he starts crying. Or you need to change his nappy,” Ellie replied with a slight roll of her eyes. “This summer is going to be a nightmare…” 

~~~

Ellie huffed as she dropped a stack of books on the table where she was sitting in the library. Because of the baby, she had gotten slightly behind in her schoolwork and needed to catch up quickly or else she’d be behind the rest of the term. And that was something that she didn’t want.

“Sel-, uh. Ellie.” 

She looked over, watching as Nott made his way up to her. She frowned slightly. She was expecting some blowback from Slytherin, though thankfully so far they had all been too stunned to say or do anything. She turned and crossed her arms in front of her, putting her weight on her right foot. 

“What do you want?” she asked, slightly annoyed. He stopped a couple feet away from her, the concern evident in his expression.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked. Ellie was confused. What was he talking about?

“Homework. Or so I thought,” she retorted. He rolled his eyes

“I’m talking about changing your name,” he said. Ellie frowned.

“It’s a personal matter,” she replied. “And none of your concern.” Nott took a few steps towards her.

“Selwyn provided you a modicum of protection,” he said, lowering his voice. “But now that you’re a Black, there’s not much I can do.”

“My mother wasn’t going to go through with the negotiations regardless,” Ellie said. “She said as much this week when I was home.” In fact, Aurora had gotten furious about it, as had Professor Lupin. “I’m only 14, Nott.”

“Yea, and that’s old enough to know that you just put a bloody target on your back,” Nott hissed. Ellie took a step back from him. What was he talking about? Just what had Sirius been mixed up in before he died. “Your mother already has one - she made sure of that when she left your father and took up with Black again. I thought if you stayed Selwyn, if we could go through with discussions, then perhaps there could be a way to keep you out of everything. But now… Even I can’t really help anymore. Or well, I’m not sure that I can…”

“You’re not making any sense,” Ellie said.

“You know what’s going on. That You Know Who is back,” he said.

“Everyone does,” Ellie said.

“Yea, and your - Evan Selwyn is with him. As is my father,” Nott continued. 

“Which is why they are both currently in Azkaban. Where they’ll stay,” Ellie said.

“Not for long,” Nott said, causing Ellie to freeze. Not for long? She felt her blood run cold. Just what did he know? She stepped towards him.

“How do you know that?” she asked softly, glancing around the library cautiously.

“I don’t know much, but I’ve heard things. They would hold meetings at our manor before… and a few of the others still come around. My step-mother’s taken up in my father’s stead while he’s away,” Nott said, a grimace of pain coming over his face. “I don’t know a lot, but… Selwyn… he had it out for Black and your mother. Still does. As do the others. They’re going to go after her. And now they’ll go after you too.”

“Death eaters?” she asked softly. 

“There’s a lot that you don’t know, Ellie,” he said. “This war is going to get bad. If you want to survive it, you need to wise up and fast.” 

He then turned and walked off, leaving an even more confused Ellie in his wake. She looked down at the books and the over at the entrance to the library. She then reached down and grabbed her bag, quickly making her way back to the common room. 

Homework could wait.

~~~

“He said what?” Ginny asked, her voice rising. Ellie shushed her as she looked around the common room cautiously. 

“He’s probably a death eater too. Just like Malfoy,” Moira said, frowning.

“We don’t know that,” Neville said, frowning at her. Ellie noticed a look of annoyance cross Ginny’s face as she glanced towards Harry, Ron, and Hermione on the other side of the room.

“Regardless, we need to look out for Ellie,” Seamus said, a stern look on his face. “If they’re going after you and your family, you need protection.”

“I highly doubt death eaters are going to come after me at school,” Ellie said, frowning at him. “But I do need to warn my mother.” She couldn’t help but think over Nott’s words. That there was a lot she didn’t know. Had her mother kept more from her? She couldn’t help as a million questions flew through her head. She definitely needed to write to her mother.

“What did he mean by they wouldn’t be in Azkaban long?” Dean asked. “Are they planning a breakout?”

“Maybe?” Ellie said. “Should we… send some sort of warning to the Ministry?”

“Surely that’s not possible,” Meredith said. “Azkaban is impossible to break out of.” Ellie just stared pointedly at her. “Ah… right.” Ellie just shook her head. 

“This is all rather confusing,” she said, rubbing her temples. She looked over at Ginny. “What should we do?” Ginny just sighed and shook her head.

“Dunno, though… I think you should definitely write to your mother,” she said. “I’m sure she’s fine - Professor Lupin is with her, yea?” Ellie nodded. “She and Ryan should be safe, then.” She looked as though there was more she wanted to say, but was stopping herself. Ellie opened her mouth to demand she come out with it, but then shut it. She knew that Ginny wouldn’t say anything in front of the others, she could wait until later.

“Still think we should be looking out for you,” Seamus said, pulling Ellie out of her thoughts. She glanced around, noticing that the others had stepped away, now discussing something else. She blushed slightly as she looked up at him, suddenly remember the dream she had been having when McGonagall woke her up.

“I… I should be fine,” she stuttered, looking away.

“Just what is Nott getting at anyway,” Seamus grumbled. Ellie glanced at him, noticing that his jaw was tense. She told herself that it was just because she was in DA and they looked out for each other. Though part of her wondered if it was perhaps jealousy. She quickly pushed that thought away in embarrassment. There was no way.

“Not sure,” she replied. “Not like I’ve spoken to him that much. Sure, he was at my birthday parties before I started Hogwarts, but… even then he kept to the others. Malfoy, Zabini, Crabbe, Goyle. Not sure why he’s taken such an interest now.”

Seamus glanced at her a moment and then smiled slightly.

“Heard about Defense Against the Dark Arts. Wish I could have seen it,” he said. Ellie chuckled.

“That was fun,” she said.

“What changed? Why did you decide to tell everyone?” he asked. 

“Just… finally found a connection with him. My father,” she said. “And when I went home and met my little brother… it just… seemed right. Changing my name and everything. I’d much rather be Ellie Black than Ellie Selwyn.”

“Bit confusing, I’ll admit. Keep stopping myself from saying Selwyn,” he replied.

“You can keep calling me Ellie,” she said, turning to him. Seamus blushed slightly. “It’s fine.” He nodded.

“Alright… Ellie,” he said. Ellie was sure that she was blushing at the moment. “I’ve got to get some homework done. Talk to you later.” 

“Yea, later,” Ellie said, watching as he walked off. 

“So, it’s Ellie now?” Ginny said, stepping up to her side. Ellie shot her a look.

“Yea… too confusing with my name change,” she retorted. Ginny just chuckled. “By the way, just what is it you don’t want to say in front of the others?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ginny said quickly.

“No, you don’t get to deflect now that it’s just the two of us,” Ellie said, turning on her. 

“It’s… there’s nothing,” Ginny said. “You really should talk to your mother.” Ellie rolled her eyes and then scowled at her. “Serious. Write her.” She then walked off. Ellie huffed as she shook her head and sat down at the table and then pulled out a parchment from her bag. 

Might as well get this out of the way.


	24. Endings & Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellie and Harry finally clear the air.

A couple days later, Ellie was back in the library, doing her homework in an attempt to get her mind off the fact that her mother had yet to reply back to her. She was still worried about what Nott had told her, but she couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps he was just over-reacting. Surely that must be it. There was no way she, her mother, and now her little brother were in danger. The Selwyns couldn’t touch them and she highly doubted that Evan would figure a way to escape from Azkaban. 

He certainly wasn’t Sirius Black in that aspect.

But at the same time, she couldn’t shake the sense of dread that had snuck in. There was no reason for Nott to approach her and tell her these things, unless he was trying to scare her into talking her mother into negotiations. She could help but frown at that idea. There was no way she’d ever do such a thing. Groaning, Ellie tried to push it all aside in her mind. She was going in circles and it was starting to give her headache.

“Ellie?” 

She looked up, seeing Harry standing there, his bag over his shoulder and some books in his arms. 

“Hi, Harry,” she said, slightly surprised. She still wasn’t used to the fact that he suddenly seemed willing to talk to her. She nearly jumped out of her skin when he greeted her at breakfast the other day. And then again in the common room later. 

“Are you busy at the moment? I thought perhaps we could talk,” he said, shifting slightly on his feet. He looked a bit uncomfortable, though there was a sense of determination in his eyes. 

“Yea, sure,” Ellie said, quickly moving her books aside as he sat at the table across from her. He stared down at his hands for a few moments, apparently trying to get his bearings or maybe to figure out where to start. Ellie thought about asking him why he had avoided her or been rude throughout the year but decided to wait and see where he would start. 

“How’s your mum and brother?” he asked, looking up at her.

“Good,” she said. “Ryan still isn’t sleeping much during the night, but Professor Lupin is there helping.” He nodded, looking down at the books he had placed on the table in front of him. 

“Like I said before, I’m sorry about avoiding you and such. And I owe you an explanation, I suppose,” he said, still looking at the books. “I knew it was unfair. Hermione got onto me about it several times. As did Ginny.” He looked up at her, though Ellie didn’t say anything. “Truth be told, I _was_ a bit jealous. I know I spent more time with him, but… he was always talking about you once he and your mother told me everything… I was his godson, but you… you’re his daughter...”

“Yea, but like you said... you got to know him and spend more time with him,” Ellie said, cutting him off slightly. “I mean, I suppose I met him once. But he was a dog and I didn’t know it was him at the time.” 

“He told me he was going to do that,” he said with a slight smile. “I overheard Professor Lupin trying to talk him out of it, but he said that one way or another, he was going to see you and your mother over the holiday… he really did care about you, you know.”

“So I’ve heard,” Ellie said softly, thinking to the stories she had heard and the journals, not to mention the letters he wrote her. While they helped, it still wasn’t the same as getting to talk to him herself. And she’d never get to do that.

“I’m sorry that I… it was hard to talk about him after he died. I didn’t really want to talk about it with anyone. And then people kept asking me about him and how I was doing. Constantly reminding me that he wasn’t here… and then I came to Hogwarts just as it was dying off and… I saw you,” he said, no longer looking at her. “It was just another reminder that he wasn’t here anymore…” Ellie frowned slightly. 

“It wasn’t that easy for me either,” she replied, attempting to keep her temper in check. She had to remind herself that Harry was hurting over Sirius just as much as her mother was. And herself to an extent. And he was here, finally speaking with her about it. She didn’t want him to shut down just as he had started opening up.

“I know… just I had found him and all - someone that could be my family - and then… I had to share him. I know it was childish, but…”

“You were very important to him,” Ellie said, slightly surprised at his words. This was the Chosen One, after all. Didn’t Harry understand just how important he was to the entire wizarding world? More than that, her mother had told her many times that Sirius had wanted to take Harry in with them. That the four of them would be a family together. You didn’t do that for someone that wasn’t important to you. 

Harry just stared at her.

“Mum wasn’t lying about the room. She picked it out and such when we were renovating the manor. Just in case you would come stay with us. She still hopes that you will,” Ellie said. “That’s what they wanted. Both of them. Sirius and Mum.” He nodded and looked back down at the books. “That bit hasn’t changed at all, you know.” He took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

“I’m sorry that you didn’t get to meet or know him,” he said softly. “I know how that goes…”

Even though Ellie knew his story, it wasn’t until that moment that everything seemed to click together. What she and Harry had in common. They both had parents that they only got to know through stories and photos. Though at least she had her mother - Harry had no one. Both of his parents had been lost. And now Sirius. 

Suddenly, all the anger she had felt towards him throughout the year completely dissipated. He felt as though he were truly alone. That he had no family. Yes, things had been difficult for her with all the revelations and such. But she had her mother and now her little brother. And she supposed she could include Professor Lupin in there too. More than anything, she found herself wanting to make sure that the boy sitting across from her knew that he wasn’t alone. Not anymore. 

“You know that you have a family, Harry,” she said. He looked up at her, his eyes wide. “I mean, the Weasleys have practically adopted you, but… you’ve got my mum, too. And Professor Lupin. And me.” She smiled slightly. “Might not seem like much to you, but… we’re here regardless.” 

He smiled slightly and nodded, seeming slightly overwhelmed at the notion. But then he shook his head and met her eyes again.

“If you ever want to talk… about Sirius or anything else, you can come to me,” he said. “I can do it now, I think.”

“Thanks,” Ellie said, smiling fully now.

“I’ll, ehm, let you get back to your homework then,” he said, standing. “I’ve got some of my own to get to.”

“Okay,” Ellie replied. He then nodded, gathered his books and bag, then walked away, leaving the library. Ellie sighed and sat back in her chair. At least that was one problem solved. Now to tackle her homework.

~~~

When Ellie walked into the common room a bit later, she immediately noticed Ginny sitting in the corner, surrounded by Meredith and Moira, looking rather forlorn. Immediately, she walked over to her.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“I broke up with Dean,” Ginny said, looking up at her. Ellie’s eyes widened slightly. While she knew the two were prone to fighting more often than not lately, she hadn’t expected this. Though she probably should have from the look of anger starting to enter Ginny’s eyes. “I just… got so tired of arguing all the time…”

“I’m so sorry,” Ellie said, dropping her bag and throwing her arms around her friend. She felt a bit guilty in that moment, so wrapped up in everything going on in her life that she hadn’t seen that things were so mucked up with her friend.

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” Ginny said, pushing her away slightly. “Honestly, I saw it coming for a while now.” Ellie’s brow furrowed. She only felt worse that she hadn’t seen it. “I mean, we argued more than we talked.”

Ellie glanced across the room, seeing Seamus talking to a rather stunned looking Dean on the other side. He looked over, meeting her eyes, then quickly turned back to Dean. 

“Well, if you ever need to talk about it, you have us,” Meredith said. Moira nodded her agreement.

“Thanks,” Ginny said, offering them a weak smile. The two walked off, though Ellie sat next to her.

“Are you sure that you’re really fine?” Ellie asked softly once they were gone. Ginny sighed heavily and nodded.

“For the most part,” she said, looking over at her. “Really, he had gotten rather insufferable lately.” She rolled her eyes slightly. At that moment, Harry walked into the common room and made his way over to Ron and Hermione. Ellie noticed a slight shift in Ginny as she followed him with her eyes and then looked down at her hands. 

“Are you sure that’s it?” Ellie asked softly, remembering Ginny’s old crush. Perhaps it wasn’t so old. Ginny looked up at her, eyes wide. “That it didn’t have to do with, well, you know…”

“Not at all,” Ginny said quickly, color quickly entering her cheeks. Ellie glanced over at him as he bent his head towards his two best friends, caught up in whatever conversation they were having. 

“If you say so,” Ellie replied, though she was smiling slightly. Ginny just narrowed her eyes slightly.

“If we’re going there, Ellie Black, just when are you planning to tell Finnegan that you fancy him?” Ginny asked. 

“Perhaps when you finally tell Harry that you fancy him,” Ellie said casually. Ginny stared at her a few moments and then began to chuckle. 

“Watch it, Black, I just might do that sooner than you think,” she said, lifting her chin in the air slightly. Ellie only laughed and shoved her slightly with her shoulder.

“Right,” she said with a slight roll of her eyes. 

“You know, I like you as Ellie Black. Seems more fitting than Selwyn,” Ginny then said, taking Ellie by surprise slightly. She thought about it a moment before nodding and smiling.

“Me too,” she said. “In a way, I don’t think I ever was a Selwyn. Not really.” Ginny just grinned at her. 

“Maybe someday you’ll be a Finnegan,” she replied, waggling her eyebrows.

“Shut it!” Ellie nearly shouted, throwing her hand over her best friend’s mouth as she looked over, making sure Seamus was still out of hearing range. “Merlin, I’m only 14!” Ginny only shrugged, waiting for Ellie to remove her hand. 

“Didn’t you say your dad was about 14 or 15 when he started fancying your mum?” she asked, an eyebrow raised. Ellie only blushed in response. “Never know…”

~~~

That night before going to bed, Ellie reached under her bed and pulled out the box of letters as her roommates got ready for bed. Now that the secret was out, she no longer felt the need to hide them, though she still managed to put a few charms on them just in case one of the Walker twins got the idea to steal them just to be spiteful. Thankfully both had reverted to ignoring her, probably confused by all the changes since her return after Easter.

She picked out another on top and opened the envelope, settling in to reading it. 

_My Dearest Ellie,_

_I’m sure that your mother has likely told you this story already, but I thought that you should hear my side of things. Not to mention, I love telling this story. Any story that involves your mother, to be honest. Though not so much the ones where she yells at me - she did that a lot when we were younger, though it’s my own fault._

_I can honestly say that I had been drawn to your mother for years. We were in the same house and the same year, so often had class together. Also, my best friend James fancied her best friend Lily (Harry’s parents) for most of that time, so I was always around her, it seemed. But somewhere around fourth year, things started to change. I no longer saw her as a stuck-up pureblood who was a stickler for the rules or studying. I noticed that she would often laugh at our pranks when she thought no one was looking, though quickly covered it up with a frown (and then yell at me). Then in fifth year, I couldn’t help but think she was far prettier than any other witch in the school. The way she stood up for herself and others was simply mesmerizing. I knew then that I wanted to ask her out, but she seemed to be the only person that I would get tongue-tied around. We gradually began to spend more time together - less yelling on her part and less pranking and teasing on mine._

_Finally, in sixth year, after we had been friends for a while, I found her in the common room doing her homework. I’m not exactly sure just what it was, but I knew then in that moment that I was going to tell her how I felt. I had to or else I probably never would. So, I sat next to her and did just that, terrified that she would say that she didn’t feel the same. I had never been more nervous about anything in my life. Thankfully for me, she did feel the same. And it wasn’t long after that, that I realized that your mother was the only woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Seems a bit silly, we were but teenagers at the time, but still. I wouldn’t change any of it. And we had you as a result._

_My dear girl, what I would give to have a time-turner so that I could go back and stop myself from going after Pettigrew that day. I would go home to your mother and learn that we were expecting you. And I would have done everything in my power to protect the both of you. I would have helped raised you and saved you from having to grow up with Evan Selwyn. You both would have known nothing but love and encouragement. It is my biggest regret that I could not be there for you then. And I fully intend to spend the rest of my days making up for it now._

_You and your mother are my life now. And Harry, of course. I so look forward to the day when we can all be together._

_Love always,  
_ _Your Father_

Ellie surreptitiously wiped at the tears pooling in her eyes as she read over the letter again, though thankfully if any of her roommates saw, they didn’t say a word. While she was happy that she and Harry had worked things out and loved reading these letters, she still felt a sharp pain in her chest. He had been so full of joy about meeting her. Becoming a family. But she knew that they would never get that chance.

Sighing, Ellie put the letter back into the envelope and replaced it in the box, before putting it under her bed again. She then pulled her quilt up and settled down to sleep. Even though they couldn’t really be together, perhaps they would in her dreams.


	25. Secret Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Ellie's crush on Seamus continues to grow, an old bet with Ginny resurfaces.

Ellie frowned as she stared down at her charms book, finding herself utterly confused on where to start. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but for some reason she was struggling to start writing her essay, even though she knew how to perform said charm flawlessly, and even done so several times in class earlier. Huffing, she sat back in her chair and rubbed her temples, wishing she knew a spell that would make her homework do itself. 

“Having trouble, Ellie?” Seamus asked, walking up to her. She jumped slightly and looked up at him. They hadn’t really spoken all that much since Ginny broke up with Dean, likely because the two were avoiding each other like the plague which left them - as the respective parties’ best friends - in a bit of an awkward situation. Ellie wasn’t sure if it was okay for them to hang out or not. 

“I… what?” she asked, glancing around the room nervously. While she was sure that Ginny didn’t expect her to stop interacting with him completely just because he was best friends with Dean, she couldn’t help but wonder. Seamus chuckled softly, scratching the back of his neck.

“Just because Dean and Ginny are on the outs doesn’t mean we have to stop being friends… does it?” he replied. Ellie just looked at him a moment before shaking her head. She then turned back to her book, not sure if he could actually help her. But she was so lost at this point that she didn’t care.

“I’m stuck on banishing charms for some reason. I’ve gotten them down in class, but we’re supposed to write about the proper situations to use them in. I know the most obvious ones, but still struggling to come up with the last two,” she said, her brow furrowed. Seamus leaned over her shoulder, looking down at the book. 

“And you can’t find them in the book, yea?” he asked. Ellie kept her eyes trained on the book, trying not to think about how close he was to her just now. She nodded. “Should be easy enough.” He plopped down in the chair next to her, thinking for a moment before taking her book and flipping through the pages. 

All the while, he mentioned a few scenarios off the top of his head where it would be useful, Ellie making one-word comments to know that she had thought of those. She wished he would put the book back down, so that she would have somewhere to look other than his face.

After sometime, Ellie found herself no longer paying attention to what he was saying and rather thinking about her mother and Sirius. They weren’t much older than her when they started dating. In fact, Sirius had been about her age when he started fancying her mother. And then they had fallen in love and were going to get married. 

What if the same thing happened with her and Seamus?

Ellie sat up in her chair, immediately looking down at her parchment, sure her cheeks were now bright red at this point. Merlin, why was she thinking about _that_? 

_“Focus on your homework, Ellie,”_ she mentally chided herself, hoping that Seamus hadn’t noticed anything. _“He doesn’t fancy you. He’s just being nice. That’s all.”_

“Ehm, you alright, Ellie?”

She whipped her head over to look at him, eyes wide and a nervous smile on her lips.

“Fine,” she said. “Eh… what did you say about that last bit?” She leaned over, pulling the book over so she could look at it. Seamus chuckled and picked up wherever it was he had left off, though this time Ellie was razor-focused on his words as she skimmed through the passage. 

Homework, yes. That’s what she should be focusing on. 

~~~

“Bloody hell,” Ellie muttered later as she sat next to Ginny off in the corner of the common room. She had finally finished up her essay, though it took twice as long because her thoughts kept drifting to Seamus. When had she become that girl? The one who only thought about boys and such? She glanced over at Lavender, who was in some conversation with Parvati, though she was making eyes at someone across the room. “Don’t ever let me focus on a boy over schoolwork,” she said.

When Ginny didn’t respond, Ellie frowned, turning to look at her best friend, who was fiddling with a piece of her hair, a pensive look on her face. This did not bode well.

“Did something happen?” Ellie asked, leaning closer and dropping her voice. Ginny’s eyes widened as she looked at her, dropping the strand of hair she had been playing with and then glancing around to make sure that no one else was close enough to overhear them. 

“Well… yea,” she said. “I kissed Harry.” 

“What?!” Ellie nearly shouted. Ginny shushed, slapping her hand over her mouth as she looked around the room again. After a moment, she removed her hand. “When? How?”

“So you know he’s had that potions book, right?” Ginny said. Ellie frowned as she thought it over. She vaguely remembered Ginny griping about it before. 

“The one that’s been getting him through potions this year?” Ellie asked. Ginny nodded.

“There was this spell in there… a bad spell. He used it on Malfoy and got in trouble,” Ginny whispered furiously. Ellie’s eyes widened again as she glanced around, wondering just where Harry was at the moment. “Anyway, Hermione put her foot down and demanded he finally get rid of it. So, I took him to the room of requirement and hid it. And then…”

“You kissed,” Ellie said, her face lighting up. Finally. Ginny had only fancied him for forever. Ellie wasn’t quite sure just what she had been thinking by dating Dean when she had obviously liked Harry more. Though she supposed that she could understand - just as she was convinced Seamus didn’t feel any way like that towards her, Ginny was convinced that Harry only saw her as his best mate’s little sister. “So he does fancy you!”

“Well, it’s not like we’re together or anything. It was just a kiss,” Ginny said, looking down at her hands as she played with the hem of her jumper. 

“But it obviously means that he fancies you,” Ellie said with a sigh and smile. 

“Saw you and Finnegan earlier,” Ginny said, looking up at her with a sly smile.

“No, you are not changing the subject, Ginerva,” Ellie said, narrowing her eyes at the ginger girl slightly.

“Whatever, Elliana,” Ginny replied with a slight roll of her eyes. “He sat with you for like… an hour.”

“Helping me with homework,” Ellie said, waving her hand in the air. “So, did you talk about it?”

“Not really,” Ginny said, frowning slightly. “But… at least now he knows how I feel.” She then fixed Ellie in a calculating stare. 

“What?” Ellie asked, suddenly confused.

“I remember a certain deal that we made… where when I tell Harry how I feel… you have to tell Finnegan how you feel,” Ginny said, a small smug smile on her face. The color began draining from Ellie’s face as her mouth dropped open. She had nearly forgotten about that. In fact, she had only agreed because she thought there was no way Ginny would ever come clean about her crush on Harry. At least not to his face.

“No,” she finally said before snapping her mouth shut. 

“A deal is a deal,” Ginny said, still smiling, though she was now looking around the common room. “Just where is he…”

“I’m not saying a word,” Ellie said, glancing around herself and finding - with relief - that Seamus was nowhere to be found. 

“Why not?” Ginny asked. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“He pats me on the head and sends me off, saying that while he’s flattered, I’m much too young,” Ellie said, turning back to her. 

“You’re already convinced of that, so what’s so bad about hearing it?” Ginny asked. Ellie didn’t say anything, just began chewing on her bottom lip as she reached up and began playing with a random curl. “Ah… you _do_ hope that he feels the same.”

“Of course, I do,” Ellie exclaimed. “But… as long as I don’t say anything, I’m free to daydream that it might be possible…” Ginny did roll her eyes at that. 

“Just… tell him. You are a Gryffindor for a reason,” she said, pushing her slightly with her shoulder. Ellie sighed and shook her head. 

“Not sure this is a good situation to apply the Gryffindor bravery,” she said wryly.

“It’s as good as any,” Ginny said with a chuckle. “And you never know… maybe he feels the same…” Ellie just shrugged as she gathered up her books and bag. 

“Doubt it,” she sang as she started towards the stairs leading up to the dorms.

“Pansy!” Ginny shouted after her with a laugh. Ellie just sighed and kept on her way. 

~~~

Later that night, Ellie settled into her bed, pushing her conversation with Ginny aside. There was no way that she was going to tell Seamus that she fancied him. None whatsoever. Just because Ginny had kissed Harry didn’t mean that she needed to go off and snog Seamus. Though it wasn’t a bad thought.

Sighing, Ellie shook her head and reached under her bed for the box. She had nearly finished all the journals, finding herself now reading through the last one from his seventh year. Part of her was a bit sad that she was finishing them, but she still had plenty of letters to go through. And she had taken to re-reading some of them. 

She opened it up towards the beginning, picking up where she had left off. 

_I think I’ve realized something today._

_Or rather, I think part of me has known for a while, but I finally said it out loud today for the first time. It was terrifying, to be truthful, but as soon as I said it, it felt right. I told Aurora that I loved her for the first time. It just slipped out and for a moment I worried that I should take it back. Her eyes got wide and she didn’t say anything for a bit. But then she smiled that brilliant smile of hers and said that she loved me too. Then she kissed me._

_It felt like… everything finally fell into place. I’m still not sure what’s going to come after the end of Hogwarts, but at least I know one thing. That I’ll face it with Aurora at my side. And because of that, I feel like I could do just about anything, to be honest. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and for awhile, I didn’t think it was even possible. I saw my parents together and they barely tolerated each other. If that was what being with someone was like, well, I decided early on that perhaps marriage and such weren’t for me. But the more I think about and I think about Aurora, it might not be so bad. Not really. And I see the Potters together and they seem to really love each other. Yea, if I’m going to marry Aurora someday, I think I would like for it to be like that._

_Merlin, I love this woman. Now that I’ve said it, I find that I just want to… jump to the top of the highest tower in Hogwarts and shout it so that everyone can hear it. I, Sirius Orion Black, III, am in love with Aurora Rosetta Greenthistle._

Ellie couldn’t help but roll her eyes and chuckle. Of all the journal entries for her to read today, it had to be that one. But at the same time, she couldn’t help but smile. It made her happy to think that her parents had been madly in love with each other, even if they hadn’t gotten the chance to be together forever. 

Her thoughts turned back to the conversation that she had overheard over Christmas, when her mother told Professor Lupin that she didn’t think she would have another great love. It was a sad thought in one way - her mother was still rather young in her mind - but at the same time, Ellie took it as a testament of Sirius and Aurora’s undying love for each other.

It was terribly romantic, even if sad. 

Ellie then shut the book and put it back on her nightstand before settling into bed. As she began drifting off to sleep, she couldn’t as her thoughts turned to Seamus. 

Perhaps they would have a great story as well. Or not. She was only 14, nearly 15. Entirely too young to be thinking about things like love, in her mind. But it was nice to dream about it here and there.


	26. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellie realizes that she is walking a similar path to her mother and father when they were in school, but at the same time knows that there is still hope for the future.

_“That’s my girl! Perfect!”_

_Ellie grinned as she brought her broom around and landed, running over to Sirius and throwing her arms around him as he laughed._

_“You’re a natural!” he said as he beamed down at her._

_“Like her father,” her mother said as she walked up, Ryan on her hip. Ellie looked over, smiling as Aurora joined them on the practice pitch._

_“Her mother does have a brilliant mind for it. Could just as easily come from you,” Sirius said as he walked over and slid his arm around her waist, kissing her cheek._

_“Ugh, not in front of me,” Ellie said as she made a face. Her mother just smiled softly as Sirius tossed his wild mane back, laughing loudly._

_“I’m sorry if the fact that your mother and father love each other disgusts you,” Aurora said, her dark blue eyes full of mirth._

_“Bad enough I have a little brother,” Ellie said, leaning against her broom. “Now everyone knows…” She stopped speaking and made another face, not wanting to go down that route._

_“Ah, my dear, time to face the truth. Your parents are and always will be madly in love with each other,” Sirius said. He then looked over at the giggling baby and took him from Aurora’s arms, lifting him up into the air and causing him to giggle more. “There’s my boy!”_

_“Where’s Harry?” Ellie asked, looking towards the manor._

_“Should be out in a bit,” Aurora said. “What has your father had you working on?”_

_“The Dionysus Dive,” Ellie said brightly. Aurora’s eyes widened as she looked over at Sirius._

_“That is entirely too dangerous!” she shouted, her hands planted on her hips as she frowned at him._

_“She’s nearly got it,” Sirius said, still playing with the baby._

_“Sirius Black, if you kill our only daughter-”_

_“Trust me, Rora, she’s fine,” Sirius said, now grinning at her. Aurora just rolled her eyes, but a smile was already tugging at her lips. “Like I said, she’s a natural. Probably could go pro if she wants.”_

_“I thought she was going to work in the Ministry,” Aurora said. Ellie cleared her throat, getting both of her parents’ attention._

_“Thought I got to decide,” she said, smiling at them._

_“Of course, you do, but your marks are so good. Just think that perhaps you could settle on a career that provides a bit more challenge,” Aurora said sensibly._

_“Perhaps she wants to be an auror like Harry wants to?” Sirius suggested. Aurora rolled her eyes._

_“Yet another dangerous job,” she muttered. Ellie continued chuckling to herself as her parents bantered back and forth for a bit. Finally, Sirius walked over and pulled Aurora to him, planting a kiss on her lips and effectively shutting her up._

_“Merlin knows why I fell in love with you,” Aurora said as she wrapped her arms around him, though she was grinning._

_“Thank god you did. Otherwise I’d be a lost cause,” Sirius replied. He then handed the baby over to Aurora as Ellie saw Harry jogging across the lawn towards them, his broom over his shoulder. “Alright, let’s see what the two of you can do up in the air together.”_

_Ellie stared at him a moment before stepping over and throwing her arms around Sirius._

_“What’s this?” Sirius asked, looking down at her as he returned the hug._

_“Just… I know we don’t have much more time together,” she said, closing her eyes as she squeezed him more._

_“We have all the time in the world, Ellie my dear,” he replied. She looked up at him and shook her head._

_“No… we don’t…”_

~~~

A sad smile was still on Ellie’s face as she sat down at the Gryffindor table for breakfast that morning. While she was now used to the dreams - and grateful for them - it still didn’t stop the sadness from sneaking in. Even in the dreams, she knew that they were only for a short time. And the only way that she could spend time with her father. So while they brought happiness, she always woke up with tears staining her cheeks and pillow. 

Before she could start reaching for food, an owl dropped a thick envelope in front of her and she eagerly reached for it, recognizing her mother’s handwriting. Opening it, she saw a letter and some photographs. Glancing at the photos, she put them aside and opened the letter. 

“What’s your mother say?” Ginny asked, leaning over towards her, a piece of toast in her hand.

“More updates on the baby. Seems he’s doing well,” Ellie said, reading through it. “Ah, and she says that she’s taken care of the Nott problem, finally.”

“Good. Noticed he hadn’t been bothering you lately,” Ginny said, glancing across the table towards Seamus, who was listening in. Ellie hadn’t noticed and was instead looking over at the Slytherin table. Nott was busy talking to Zabini.

“Wasn’t that worried about it,” she said lightly, turning back to the letter as she finished reading it. “Seems the baby is sleeping more through the night… and she’s eager for me to get home for the summer. Can’t lie, I’m a bit ready for it too.” 

“You know she’s going to have you baby-sitting all summer,” Ginny said with a chuckle.

“Both of us if you plan to come over often,” Ellie said, glancing at her with a smile. She then put the letter down and picked up the photos, going through them. 

“He’s getting bigger,” Ginny said, looking over her shoulder. “Professor Lupin still in the manor?”

“Would appear so,” Ellie said, noticing that he was in a fair amount of the photos, usually holding the baby and making him smile. 

“How do you feel about that?” Ginny asked.

“Don’t really feel much about it,” Ellie answered. “He’s been helping out a lot. And I like talking to him.”

“But don’t you have all those people working at the manor now?” Ginny asked, leaning on her hand. 

“Yea, but Mum likes to take care of the baby herself. And it’s a lot of work for just one person,” Ellie said. She then noticed the look on Ginny’s face. “What?”

“You haven’t once thought that perhaps there’s something going on there?” Ginny asked, smiling slightly. Ellie frowned and looked back down at the last photograph in her hand. It was the three of them, her mother gazing down at the baby lovingly as Professor Lupin sat at her side, looking down at the baby as well, though he glanced up at her mother a couple times.

Truth be told, she hadn’t thought about it all that much. Sure, she thought about it here and there, but then she remembered that conversation. The one where her mother said that she didn’t think she could ever love anyone again. Well, that wasn’t completely true. She had said she didn’t think she could love anyone like she loved Sirius. There was perhaps a difference there. But at the same time, it wasn’t like Professor Lupin had declared his love for her either. In fact, Ellie knew that he was dating Tonks.

“I don’t think there is,” she finally said. “I mean… Professor Lupin is dating Tonks. And well, Mum is still very much in love with Dad.” She looked up, noticing the surprised look on Ginny’s face. “What?”

“Just the first time I’ve heard you call him dad,” she said softly, smiling. Ellie put the photos down, thinking about it. She had been calling him dad in her dreams for a long time now that she hadn’t realized that she never really, actually said it.

“Well… he is my dad,” she said, looking back at Ginny. She just chuckled and hugged Ellie. 

“Good to hear, is all,” she said before turning back to her breakfast. A smile settled on Ellie’s face. Yes, he was her dad. And she rather liked saying it. 

~~~

Ellie pulled her bag up higher on her shoulder and tightly gripped the books in her arms, rushing down the corridor. She had spent a bit longer in the library than intended and was about to be late to Transfiguration. Despite it being taught by her head of house, she knew that McGonagall looked down on tardiness and wouldn’t hesitate to give her detention if she were late. 

So, grumbling under her breath about potions, Ellie sped up, cursing the fact that she had checked out all the books she had been using for her homework, intending to finish it later in the common room rather than going back to the library for a second time that day.

Fate would not be on her side. Just as she turned a corner, she tripped over an uneven spot in the floor. While she stopped herself from toppling over, her books flew out of her hands and skidded down the corridor.

“Fantastic,” she muttered, staring at them a moment before moving to start gathering them up.

“Need help, Ellie?” 

She looked over her shoulder, seeing Seamus come around the corner behind her and immediately bend down to start picking up the books for her. She froze for a moment but then focused on the task. She really was going to be late now. 

“Thanks,” she said slightly breathlessly as he started handing them to her. 

“Not a problem,” he replied, smiling at her. She couldn’t help as her stomach dropped slightly and a lightheaded feeling came over her. Blimey, how could he do that with just a smile? Ellie shook her head and reached for the last book, turning her attention to the Transfiguration room just down the hall. 

“So… just a month until the end of term. Got any big plans for the summer?” Seamus asked, falling in step next to her.

“Just… spending time at home, I suppose,” she said. “Think the baby’s still too little for us to travel. But that’s fine. We have the pool and the practice pitch and everything.” She knew she was rambling a bit, but she suddenly felt a bit anxious.

“A swimming pool?” he asked, glancing down at her. 

“Yea, talked Mum into it while she was doing renovations,” Ellie said. “Thinking I might have DA over…”

“Sounds brilliant,” Seamus said, grinning at her. “I know I’ll definitely come.” Ellie swallowed, feeling her cheeks heat up. What was wrong with her today? “Well… suppose I’ll see you after class…” With a small wave, he then walked off down the corridor. Ellie stared after him a moment, a silly grin on her face. She then, thankfully, remembered class and with a little jump, rushed in. 

She had just sat down next to Dennis Creevy when McGonagall walked in from her office.

“Just in time…”

~~~

Ellie sat in her favorite chair later in the evening, pulling her legs up as she pulled out Sirius’ last journal from her bag. Ginny had gotten the interaction with Seamus out of her earlier and just spent the last half hour giving her a hard time about. Ellie finally glared at her and walked away, unsure of how much more teasing she could take. 

“That one of his?”

Ellie looked up, seeing Harry moving to sit in the chair near her. She glanced down at it and the back up at him.

“Yea… the last one I have. Did you want any of the others?” she asked, part of her still not quite believing that Harry was speaking to her. What’s more, that he was speaking with her about Sirius.

“Sure, I suppose,” he said. Ellie started to get up. “Though you don’t have to get them right now.” Ellie settled back in the chair, wondering just what he wanted to talk to her about. “Realized that we haven’t really spoken since…” Ellie nodded. “Did you, ehm, have any questions?”

“Oh, ehm… well… what was he like… when you were with him?” she asked, leaning towards him. A soft smile came over Harry’s face. 

“Well, he was larger than life,” he said, obviously going back in his thoughts. “I first met him my third year… the year he escaped. He had been creeping around Hogwarts, looking for Pettigrew…”

Ellie sat back in her chair, letting Harry talk. He worked his way through his memories from the beginning, eventually getting to the point where Ellie knew her mother had found Sirius again. He then spoke of the night he went to Grimmauld Place after Mr. Weasley’s attack and met her mother. 

“They were… really good together. At least from what I saw,” Harry said, staring down at his hands. “And even then… she said that when they got married, they wanted me to come with them to the manor…” He looked up at her. 

“You know that you still can. If you want. Though I would understand if you don’t want to,” Ellie said. He nodded, his thoughts seeming to go somewhere else.

“Maybe I can come visit this summer, though…” he seemed to struggle a bit with what to say. “It’s nothing to do with you or your mum. Just… a lot is going on.” 

“Of course,” Ellie said quickly. Harry smiled sadly at her a moment.

“He really did want to meet you,” he added softly. “I wish that you had gotten the chance.”

“Me as well,” Ellie said, a matching sad smile on her face. Harry nodded and then glanced around.

“I should… got some things to do,” he said, standing. 

“Of course,” Ellie said. He waved at her and then walked out of the common room. Sighing, Ellie looked back down at the journal, opening it up.

_The closer we get to the end of term, the more anxious I can’t help but get. Everything is… I know that something is happening. Dark times are coming. And sometimes I wonder just how any of us are meant to survive this. They’re starting to call it a war. People are already disappearing._

_When I think about the future, I always think of Aurora. And then I begin to worry even more. How much time will we have together? If it gets as bad as they are saying, what if I lose her? I don’t care so much about my own safety, but I worry about what could happen to her. She’s walking away from the same life as me, though her mother is making it more difficult. Not to mention Selwyn. He still seems to think that he’ll marry her, and I know he’ll be livid once it gets out what we’re planning._

_But at the same time, I can’t help but think that we’ll get through this. As long as we’re together. And not only just me and Aurora, but James, Lily, Remus and Peter. As long as we stay together, rely on each other, we can survive this war. And we can fight together. Help others. We will survive this._

Ellie frowned as she looked up, glancing around the common room. It was as though she were walking the same path as her father and mother all those years ago. You Know Who was back. People had been disappearing all year, though it was easy to push it aside, being safe within the walls of Hogwarts. But who knew how long that would last?

Her eyes fell on her friends across the room, Moira and Meredith laughing at something as Ginny watched on in amusement. Neville, Dean, and Seamus were with them, also listening in to whatever story was being told. Seamus met her eyes for a moment and smiled at her. 

Even though she was slightly afraid, she couldn’t help but think that her dad had it right. As long as she stood by her friends, they could make it through whatever was coming. Her thoughts turned to Harry, Hermione and Ron, the others in DA. Susan, Hannah, Luna, Dennis and Colin. Everyone. They had survived Hogwarts under Umbridge.

Surely, they could get through a war.


	27. Everything Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the school year is coming to an end and everything seems to be falling into place for Ellie, tragedy strikes and throws her world into chaos. Again.

She wasn’t sure why, but Ellie found herself unable to sleep that night. She had only been in bed perhaps an hour or so, leaving Ginny and the others downstairs in the common room. For whatever reason, she felt a bit antsy all evening. Didn’t help that the others seemed to be a bit on edge as well. She found it odd but figured everyone was ready for the term to finish. Though she couldn’t think but find it suspicious that Ginny, Neville, Ron, and Hermione had been in a rather long, secretive conversation earlier with Harry. One that they didn't seem keen on Ellie joining.

But, like many things, Ellie had pushed it aside and attempted to sleep. However, sleep was not to come. She sat up in her bed, looking around to see the Walker twins fast asleep, though Moira and Meredith’s beds were empty. They must still be downstairs. Tossing her duvet off, she started towards the door.

She crept down the stairs, seeing the common room empty, save for one person sitting at a table, hunched over some books. That was odd. It was well after curfew, so the others should be there if they weren't in bed. Creeping forward, she noticed that it was Seamus. She stopped for a moment, looking around and wondering if she should leave him be. If he was still up, he was obviously in the middle of studying. She took a step back, but the floor creaked loudly. Ellie froze as Seamus sat up and looked over at her.

“Can’t sleep?” he asked. She nodded, her eyes wide. He glanced towards the door nervously and then back at her. “Me neither. Thought if I studied a bit, I’d eventually get tired.” Ellie swallowed and then walked over, looking down at his books.

“Potions?” she asked.

“Yea. Think I get it better this year thanks to Slughorn, but it still rather confusing,” he said, turning back to the books and scratching his head. Ellie moved to sit next to him, glancing over the potion he was reading about. While she knew that it was something she’d learn in sixth year, she already knew about it, thanks to her mother. 

“Not that tricky,” she said, pulling the book over towards her and starting to explain it. 

“How do you know this?” he asked after she had finished, seeming a bit in awe.

“Mum is really good at potions. She’s taught me a lot. Same with herbology. She’s got a large greenhouse where she grows her own ingredients. And a large garden in the back,” Ellie said, finally meeting his eyes. She felt herself blush, catching the look on his face. She quickly looked back down at the book. “I help out there a lot. Always have.”

“That’s… brilliant,” he said, leaning towards her slightly. 

“Not so much,” Ellie said, shifting in her chair, still unable to look at him. She wasn’t sure if it was her mind playing tricks on her - perhaps Ginny had finally gotten in her head - but she could swear that he was going to kiss her. Bucking up as much courage as she could, she straightened up and turned towards him. She was a Gryffindor, by gods. 

But before either of them could move, there was a noise. Ellie frowned as they both looked towards the portrait hole, Seamus’ face immediately a mask of worry. 

“What was that?” she asked.

“Not sure,” Seamus replied. 

They waited for a moment, and Ellie wondered if that was a trick of the mind. But then suddenly there was another boom and some shouting. 

“Something’s wrong,” Ellie said, already out of her chair and moving towards the portrait hole, her wand in hand. 

“Ellie, wait,” Seamus said. She stopped and turned towards him, a frown on her face. He obviously seemed conflicted about something before he spoke. “We should go together.” She nodded and turned back to the portrait hole, the two making their way towards it and through, side-by-side. The shouting was clearer in the corridor, though they stopped and looked around, wondering just what was going on. 

“I think it’s coming from the astronomy tower,” Seamus said, starting to run towards that direction. He reached in his pocket and pulled out their DA coin, pressing it. 

Ellie felt her heart begin to race as they sped through the castle, the shouts getting louder. Suddenly, they ran into a large corridor and Seamus shot his arm out, keeping Ellie from going any further. Her eyes widened as she watched the chaos unfolding in front of them. Her heart stopped.

Death eaters were in the castle. 

“Ellie, down!” Seamus shouted, jumping in front of her and blocking a curse that came their way. She whipped her head over, seeing Tonks running down the corridor, shooting a hex at the death eater. Ellie pushed Seamus aside and started down the hall. “ELLIE!” 

She made her way to the entrance hall, seeing other members of DA there, already fighting, along with Lupin and other adults. Her eyes widened as she saw her mother in the thick of it, deftly dueling with two death eaters. Ellie knew enough to not shout and distract her, so instead made her way down the stairs, quickly taking in her surroundings. The death eaters fighting with her mother hadn’t noticed her arrival to the fray, so she easily shot off a banishing charm, watching as one flew back into a wall. The other quickly followed.

“ELLIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” Aurora shouted, already bounding towards her. Ellie didn’t respond, just spun on her heels and shot another charm at a death eater approaching them. “It’s not safe! You need to get back to the tower!”

“Bit late for that!” Ellie shouted back to her, her focus still on the fight. She heard her mother groan slightly, but eventually, the two of them were too caught up in the fight to yell at each other further. Ellie heard a cackle and looked over, seeing Bellatrix Lestrange firing off a curse before bounding out of the main door. Ellie’s veins were full of fire as she started after her. That was the woman who had killed her father. But Aurora grabbed her arm and yanked her back to her side. 

“Not now,” Aurora said, her own dark eyes fixed on the woman as the fighting died down around them.

“But Mum-”

“I know!” Aurora shouted, turning to look at Ellie. Her face was smudged in dust and dirt, though her eyes were alight with anger and tears. “Not now. We’ll have our chance.” She then looked back around the room, taking in the others there. She walked over to Lupin, quickly pulling him into a fierce hug before looking him over for any injuries. Ellie looked away, starting to follow the others outside to the courtyard. 

A ways off, she saw a form lying crumpled on the ground. Her hand came to her mouth as she stopped walking. Surely that wasn’t who she thought it was. She could hear the others coming outside and stopping around her as they all stared in shock. 

“Oh god.” 

She turned, seeing her mother and Lupin step up to her side, their eyes fixed on the form. 

“Mum… is that…” 

Aurora nodded, still looking forward. 

“It’s Dumbledore,” she whispered. “We got here too late…”

Ellie turned to look back, seeing Harry walking into the courtyard and stopping, his own eyes fixed on the fallen form. No one said anything for the longest time. What could they say? The person that was supposed to protect them, to lead this fight, was now dead.

~~~

Ellie was still in a bit of shock later on sitting in McGonagall’s study with her mother and Lupin. They had taken Dumbledore’s body away and once that was done, Ellie’s mind was full of so many questions. How had the others known what was going on? Why was her mother there? How had they even known?

She stared down at her hands and then looked up at her mother, who was sitting across from her, Lupin standing next to her.

“What’s going on, Mum?” Ellie asked. Aurora sighed and looked up at Lupin, who reached down and squeezed her shoulder, nodding. Aurora then met her eyes.

“There are some things I haven’t told you,” she started.

“Obviously,” Ellie muttered.

“I did it to keep you safe,” Aurora said sternly. “In the last war, your father and I… we were members of a secret order. One that fought against You Know Who and his followers. Remus, Lily, James… P-Peter… they were all members too. The Order of the Phoenix. When V-You Know Who came back… the Order started up again, we all rejoined.” 

Ellie just stared at her a moment. She shouldn’t have been surprised, but she was. She looked over at Lupin who just nodded. Since last year, her mother had been caught up in some secret group, fighting in a war that the rest of the wizarding world hadn’t known was going on until recently.

“I haven’t been as active lately… with the baby… but Harry felt like something would happen. He had been working with Dumbledore all year on something… suspected that one night while they were off working on this that death eaters would attack. He alerted some of the DA to keep a lookout and they were to inform us if it should happen,” Aurora continued. Ellie was silent, everything suddenly making sense. Why the others had seemed on edge all night. Why they weren’t in the dorm. Why Seamus was up in the common room so late. 

What didn’t make sense was why everyone had left her out of it. 

“Why… why did no one tell me? I’m in DA. I’m capable of helping,” Ellie said. 

“I didn’t want you to get mixed up in this, Ellie. It’s rather serious,” Aurora said.

“But I’m more than capable of doing my part.,” Ellie said. “And I’m good at spells. You know this.”

“I know, but… I don’t know what I’d do if something were to happen to you,” Aurora said, leaning forward in her chair. “I lost your father. I can’t lose you too.” Ellie just stared at her. 

“But you still kept this from me. I thought there weren’t going to be anymore secrets,” Ellie said, still frowning. Aurora swallowed and looked down at her teacup.

“I’m so sorry, but I didn’t want you to worry or get hurt,” Aurora said. Ellie looked at Lupin. 

“We… thought it was for the best,” he said. For whatever reason, that didn’t settle well with Ellie. The way he said we. He wasn’t her father.

“And you came here to fight. What about Ryan?” Ellie asked, looking back and forth between the two adults.

“He’s fine. At home with Mrs. Clark,” Aurora said. Ellie sighed and leaned back in her chair, her mind whirling. Her parents had been involved in a secret order. Her mother still was, it seemed. What’s more, the entire DA had kept something from her. She felt betrayed. Again. 

Sighing, Ellie stood and started towards the door. 

“Where are you going?” Aurora asked. 

“To bed. I’m tired,” Ellie replied without looking at them. Aurora looked up worriedly at Remus, but he just shook his head. “We’ll talk more later.”

~~~

Ellie sat by herself in the common room the next day, refusing to talk to anyone. She was angry that all of them, including Ginny - her best friend - had left her out of what was going on. She was also angry that her mother had kept more secrets from her. She was also scared, if she were being honest.

Last night’s attack had proven one thing. Nowhere was safe in the wizarding world. Not even the one place that was supposed to be the safest. She had overheard McGonagall speaking with her mother earlier - both she and Lupin had stayed at the castle - telling her that they may have to shut down the school if death eaters could breech it. 

And now she sat there, staring out the window in a bit of a fog. Most of the students were once news had spread that the headmaster was dead. They were going to have the funeral soon - bury him on the grounds - but already parents were showing up and pulling their children out for home.

“Ellie…” 

She looked over, seeing a forlorn Seamus standing there, shifting on his feet. She looked away, back out the window, still upset. 

“Look… for what it’s worth, I told the others we should let you in on it. That you were better than most of us at spells and charms. But Harry had heard from your mum-”

“Yes, I get it. Everyone wants to keep me safe,” she said dryly. Tense silence fell over them. “Are you staying?”

“Until after the funeral,” he said. “Me Mam’s already in Hogsmeade.” She nodded, frowning. “Really Ellie-”

“I’m tired of people keeping things from me for my so-called own good,” she said, finally looking at him. “I’m not helpless, you know.”

“I know,” he said. “We all know.” 

“Then why did you go along with it?” she asked harshly. She turned her glare to Ginny, who had walked up next to him. “Especially you. You know how I hate being left out of things.” Ginny didn’t say anything. “I had a right to know about all this. I’m in DA too.” 

“Your mum-”

“Damn my mother!” Ellie shouted, grabbing more attention than she cared to get. “She has kept far too many secrets from me and I’m tired of it! I’d expect you - my friends - to understand!”

Ellie then pushed up out of the chair and started towards the portrait hole. 

“Ellie, wait-”

She didn’t stop, just kept walking until she was in the corridor, hot tears stinging her eyes. She looked around a bit and then set off in a direction, not really caring where she was going, as long as it was away from others. She didn’t stop until she was at the top of the divination tower, dropping down on the window seat as she looked out across the grounds. Just when she thought everything was coming together - things were good with her friends, Seamus was starting to show an interest in her, she finally felt as though she were on good terms with her mother and the whole Sirius Black thing - and then this. She finds out more secrets. Dumbledore was dead. And the death eaters had made a bold move. She’d be lucky if her mother even let her out of the manor once they got back.

Hearing footsteps, Ellie sighed and wiped her cheeks, ready to yell at whoever had followed her this time. Though she stopped when she saw Harry clear the landing. 

“What do you want?” she asked, frowning at him. “Mum send you?”

“No. But she’s worried,” he said with a sigh, staying a few feet away. 

“I take it you know about this Order,” she said. He nodded. “I heard that you wouldn’t let me in on the watch.”

“Your mum-”

“Can we please leave my mother out of this,” she shouted, her temper getting the best of her. “I’m sick and tired-”

“Of everyone keeping things from you and treating you like a child who can’t do anything,” Harry finished for her, butting it. Ellie just stared at him. “I get it, you know.”

“Then why?” she asked. Harry looked at the ground a moment and then back up at her.

“She’s desperate not to lose anyone else, and…that… I can understand that, Ellie,” he said. “But… I do get it… they wouldn’t let me join the Order at first. Kept the prophecy about me and Voldemort a secret. The only person who thought I had a right to know everything was Sirius.” 

“From what I’ve read, it sounds like him,” she said softly. Harry nodded, studying her. “Wonder if he’d want me knowing about all this… or if he’d side with Mum…”

“I’m… I don’t know about that. I mean, it’s different. You’re his daughter and all… but… part of me thinks he’d want you to fight,” Harry said. “Just as he wouldn’t want you to be angry with your mum for trying to protect you.” 

“She _did_ send you,” she muttered, turning back to the window. 

“Don’t blame her for trying to protect you. She was only doing what she thought was right and… I wish someone would do that for me. More than that, you’re going to need each other,” he said. Ellie looked over at him, confused for a moment. “She’s the only family you have left, and this is only going to get worse. If we’re all going to make it - and win - everyone is going to need to work together.”

“You know something,” Ellie stated. He looked down at his feet. “What is it?”

“I can’t… you won’t understand. And not just you, the others as well, but things _are_ going to get worse. And someone needs to be here, to protect the others, protect the castle,” he said, meeting her eyes. “I need you to do that.” Ellie gulped, for a moment a bit overcome by the prospect. Harry was essentially telling her that he wasn’t going to be at Hogwarts next year and that he wanted her there to help. “Can you?”

She nodded silently. Even though she was scared, she knew that it was what her father would have done. Not to shy away in the face of danger. Likely what her mother would do as well. 

“And… if it’s not much, it might help to make up with your mum and the others. You’ll need them too,” he said. That was a bit harder, but even Ellie could see that he was right. 

“I’ll… try,” she said. He nodded again and then turned to walk back down the stairs. “Harry…” He stopped and looked back at her. “Thanks.” He smiled slightly.

“It’s what I would hope someone would say to me,” he said. He then turned and continued on down the stairs. Ellie sighed and looked out the window for a moment. She then straightened her back and turned towards the stairs. 

Might as well start now.


	28. What Comes Next

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Ellie returns home from Hogwarts, she and her mother have an overdue talk about just what Aurora's been up to while Ellie was away. And it seems that things have shifted at home in more ways than Ellie expected.

Ellie sighed as she looked down at her trunk. It was the day after Dumbledore’s funeral, and she was finally heading home with her mother and Lupin. Most of the school had emptied out and they, along with a few others from DA, were the last few to leave. While there had been talk of shutting down the school for good, it seemed the other professors had decided to keep it open, though Ellie knew she was going to have an uphill battle ahead of her convincing her mother to let her return. 

But that was a battle for another day. She had made some amends, but she knew a very long talk was coming as soon as they got home.

“Ellie…”

She looked over, seeing Ginny walking up to her. Sighing, she stepped over and wrapped her arms around her best friend. While she was upset about the DA keeping her out of the loop, she couldn’t fully blame them, knowing they were only following her mother’s wishes. 

“It’s okay. We’re good,” she said, stepping back and offering her a smile. Harry was right about one thing - they were going to need to stick together in the coming months or years. Ginny smiled in relief. 

“Think I can still come over to visit this summer?” Ginny asked.

“Going to need it. Mum’s likely to put me on house arrest,” Ellie said, rolling her eyes slightly. 

“Perhaps we could talk her into a birthday party. It’s coming up next month,” Ginny said, a sly smile on her face. Ellie just chuckled.

“What’s this about a party?” Seamus asked as he walked up. Ellie’s eyes widened slightly as Ginny glanced at him and then back at her, fully grinning.

“Oh, Ellie’s birthday,” she said lightly.

“Next month, right?” he asked. Ellie nodded quickly.

“She’s going to have a party. Think you can make it?” Ginny asked, turning to him as Ellie remained mute.

“Yea, think I can. I want to see these gardens and the practice pitch you were talking about,” he said, smiling at her. She was sure her cheeks were pink. 

“I’ll let you know the details,” she managed to say. He nodded and looked over. 

“Me Mam’s here. See you next month,” he said with a wave before walking off. Ellie watched him, seeing a distraught older witch run up and hug him. 

“Is that him?”

Ellie looked over, seeing her mother walk up with Professor Lupin. 

“Seamus Finnegan,” Ginny said casually. Ellie shot her a frown. 

“The boy you fancy?” Aurora asked. 

“I’m still mad at you,” Ellie said to her mother. She then glanced at Ginny. “Starting to get mad at you again.” Ginny just laughed and hugged her friend. 

“See you in a few days,” she said before walking off and joining her mother and brother. Ellie turned back to her mother.

“Well… let’s go, then…”

~~~

After arriving home, Ellie unpacked her trunk and then stood in her room a few moments, debating whether she wanted to go downstairs. She knew that she needed to. That she needed to have a long talk with her mother. But she wasn’t sure if she was ready for it. She then took a deep breath and walked to her door. She made her way through the manor, finding her mother in the greenhouse.

Aurora paused in her work and looked up.

“Suppose we have a lot to talk about,” Aurora said softly. Ellie nodded. Aurora motioned towards the table, walking over herself. There was already tea there, though Ellie noticed her mother had a glass of wine.

“Where’s Ryan?” Ellie asked.

“Remus has him for now,” she said. “Thought we could do with some time to ourselves.” Ellie nodded.

“So… you and dad were in this Order in the first war,” Ellie said. Aurora took a deep breath, reaching for her wine and taking a sip.

“Dumbledore recruited us just after we all left Hogwarts,” she said. “All of us. Me, Sirius, James, Lily, Remus, and Peter. We were all young and eager to prove ourselves. It was a worthy cause, we thought. And as Sirius and I had essentially run away from home, we had no parents to warn us not to do it.” Ellie rolled her eyes. “And for a while, it wasn’t much. Just sneaking into places, getting information. Trying to keep an eye on suspected death eaters.”

“Like Evan Selwyn,” Ellie said. Aurora nodded.

“We suspected but had no proper proof. Nothing that would lead to him getting arrested when it was all over,” she said, looking down at her glass. “But then the war got more dangerous… and we found out that V-Voldemort was after Lily, James, and Harry… they went into hiding. I thought Sirius was the secret keeper, but Peter was, and he didn’t tell me or Remus. In fact, he began to suspect Remus. Pushed him away. He was rather paranoid there in the end…” Aurora was silent a few moments, gathering her wits. “And then… Voldemort went after them. Killed Lily and James. Just a few weeks after Sirius had proposed to me… that was when I found out that I was pregnant with you.” Aurora finally looked up at Ellie. “I waited at home for him to come back… but he didn’t… and then I found out about the attack on the muggles and that he had been taken away…”

“That’s when Grandmama came to you,” Ellie said. Aurora nodded. 

“She convinced me that it was for the best that I come home with her and I allow her to arrange a marriage before you were born. It happened so quickly…”

Ellie sat in silence as her mother continued on, filling her in on more details from the first war and what she and Sirius had done after reuniting. Sneaking out to the manor to find the will. How she had a knack for breaking charms and spells. It seemed she had been an integral part of the Order back in the day. Had been set to do the same when she returned, but then Sirius had died, and she found out she was pregnant. She still attended meetings though she couldn’t do any missions. Had only just started becoming more involved when the attack happened at Hogwarts. All the members of the Order apparently had the same special tokens they used in DA to alert them when they were needed. 

Ellie took her own out, looking down at it as her mother continued speaking. 

“I just wanted to keep you safe and from worrying more than you needed to,” Aurora finished. Ellie was silent awhile before looking up at her. 

“First of all, no more secrets,” Ellie said firmly. Aurora nodded. “Next… you know that I don’t need to be coddled.” Aurora started to speak, but Ellie raised her hand. “Yes, I know. But I’m nearly 15, Mum. I’ve been in DA. I know how to take care of myself. I can help if the need should arise.”

“But you’re still just a child. I can’t let you run off and join a war!” Aurora nearly shouted. 

“I’m not joining a war! I’m just going to school!” Ellie shouted back. Aurora just stared at her. “You have to let me go back to Hogwarts.”

“No,” Aurora said firmly. “They’ve gotten in once. They can do it again. And they know about my past, Ellie. They could come after you.”

“So, I should just let everyone else there fend for themselves?!” Ellie retorted. Aurora just stared at her a moment before sighing and leaning back in her chair. “What?”

“Just… you really are so much like him,” she said, a sad smile on her face. “He would say the same thing.”

“You know it’s the right thing to do. Ginny’s going back. Seamus, Neville. The others. I have to go back with them,” Ellie said firmly, keeping her gaze strong. “I can’t hide out here and leave them to fight on their own.”

“I hope it doesn’t come to that,” Aurora said. “I hope that the death eaters don’t go back.”

“Then there would be nothing for you to worry about,” Ellie retorted. Aurora sighed and shook her head. “You say that I’m like him. Then let me do this. You know _he_ would do it. Dad. He would go back without hesitation.” Aurora looked over at her, her expression unreadable. “If we’re going to survive this, then we’re only going to do it together. And I need to be there with them. The DA.” She jutted her chin out slightly, daring her mother to fight her on it. 

“Very well,” Aurora said. Ellie’s eyes widened, slightly surprised that she gave in so easily. “You aren’t a little girl anymore. I can only do so much to protect you… If you feel like you need to go back next year, then… I suppose I’ll let you go. But if it gets bad, then you’re coming back here.”

“I’ll be fine. Probably more protected there than here. The other professors, they won’t let anything happen to us,” Ellie said, starting to smile. Aurora nodded. She then stood and walked over to Ellie, wrapping her arms around her. 

“When did you grow up?” she whispered. Ellie chuckled. 

“Mu-um,” she groaned. Aurora chuckled. 

“Come on. It’s dinner time,” she said, walking towards the door. Ellie stood and followed her. Lupin stepped out into the hallway, the baby in his arms. “How is my love?” 

Ellie stopped and watched her mother take Ryan from his arms, laughing and making faces at him. The baby giggled. More than that, Ellie caught the way that Professor Lupin was looking at her mother and the baby, which was something she wasn’t sure she wanted to think about right now. Aurora stopped and looked back at her. 

“Coming, Ellie?” 

She nodded and stepped in, going up to her mother and looking at her little brother. She wasn’t sure just what was coming, but she was determined to do whatever she could to protect her family and friends.

“I’ve missed you, Ryan…”

~~~

“Finally… everyone’s in bed,” Aurora said, stepping out into the greenhouse. Remus looked over at her from where he sat at the table, a glass of scotch in his hand. 

“Take it the talk went well,” he said. Aurora sighed as she walked over and sat across from him, reaching for her glass of wine. 

“For the most part. I agreed to let her go back to Hogwarts. I still think it’s a horrible idea, but well…” Aurora tapered off. 

“I’m sure she’ll be fine, Rora,” he said. Aurora nodded.

“One can hope. Though, there’s not a lot I can say. I was hoping to get more involved in the Order now that Ryan is getting older,” she said, staring at the glass. 

“We were teenagers once upon a time. Surely you remember what that’s like,” Remus replied, a smile on his face. Aurora nodded, she then looked up at him.

“What can you tell me about Seamus Finnegan?” she asked. Remus chuckled and shook his head. “What? You know Sirius would want to know. Likely be a lot worse than me. I need to know about this older boy who seems to have captured my daughter’s attention.” Remus winced slightly at the mention of Sirius but just sighed.

“Seems to be decent,” he said. “Though has a penchant for pyrotechnics. Unintentionally.” 

Aurora just rolled her eyes as she brought her glass to her lips. 

“Perfect,” she muttered. Remus studied her a few moments before putting his glass down. 

“Could be worse,” he said. “Finnegan’s not so bad. Friends with Harry.” She nodded, but didn’t speak, thinking it over. She supposed that wouldn’t be so bad. She couldn’t help but wonder what Sirius would do if he were here. “He’d likely give him the third degree.”

“Perhaps. Or he’d fall in love with him,” Aurora said, looking out at the flowers. 

The two were silent a few more moments, taking sips of their drinks as they got caught up in their own thoughts. Remus snuck a few looks over at Aurora. 

“I know that it’s not been long, Rora, but-”

“Please, Remus,” she said, cutting him off as she closed her eyes. She shook her head. “I’ve said everything I care to.”

“But-”

“No,” she said, her voice a bit stronger, though there was a hint of pain in it. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him. “Nothing’s change.” Remus nodded slowly, bringing the glass to his lips as he looked out at the many plants surrounding them.

“Very well,” he said softly. 

They sat there a bit longer before Aurora stood, taking her glass with her.

“It’s been a long few days. I think I’ll retire,” she said. She didn’t look at him or wait for him to speak before she left. But she stopped at the doorway and looked back out, seeing Remus sit up and rub his face. She couldn’t help the pain in her heart. But it was for the best. 

She then turned and walked away, not stopping until she came to the second floor. Walking over, she pushed open the door to the nursery and stepped in, looking down at the sleeping form in the crib. Tears filled her eyes as she watched her son sleep. Taking a deep breath, she turned and walked out, pausing in the hallway to look down towards Ellie’s room. She could see a light from underneath the door. Closing her eyes briefly, she felt tears fall down her cheeks.

“How I wish you were here,” she whispered before opening her eyes and then continuing on to her room.

Aurora wasn’t sure what was coming, though she had an idea from the last war. She only hoped that she had the strength to protect those that she loved. She couldn’t bear losing anyone else. Anyone.


	29. Things to Come

The wind howled and roared outside, nearly blocking out the sound of the waves crashing against the stone walls of the fortress. It was deathly cold. The kind of cold that sank into your bones and didn’t let go. A cold that would set one off into a shivering that never ended.

All around were wails of sorrow and shouts of madness. It created a horrible orchestra that made it difficult to sleep for any amount of time. But in one cell, there was quiet. 

Evan Selwyn still managed to keep enough of his wits to know that it was beneath him to rant and rave like the others. He wasn’t mad. Not quite yet, anyway. And if Sirius Goddamn Black could go 12 years without going mad, then he could do at least 20. Though even Evan knew that he wouldn’t be there for nearly that long.

No. Any day now they would come for him. The Dark Lord and the others. They would need him to help win this fight. And Evan certainly did not like losing. 

Day in and day out, he sat calmly on the floor in his cell, studying the door and waiting for whenever his meals came. He then ate them like the civilized wizard that he was before placing his tray back in front of the slot to be picked up again. He shuddered against the chill whenever a dementor passed by, but he had no horrible memories for them to break him with. Not truly horrible ones, anyway. 

And all the while, he wore a smug smile on his face. It was the same one he had worn through the sentencing - with him being caught at the Ministry for Magic there had been no trial. The guards taunted him for it, but he remained quiet. He was, if anything, a patient man.

No, it wouldn’t be long. He could feel it. The day of his freedom was nigh.

And when he got out, the first thing he intended to do was to kill Aurora and possibly her bastard child with Sirius Black once and for all.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is part two in my Sirius Black series. I'm finished writing all of it, but still posting it on FF.net. So going to post up to what I have there and then post it in coordination with that. Hope you enjoy!


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